My best friend of around 8 years (we met at uni) has been living abroad for over two years and is finally coming back to the UK next month. I've been so excited to see her. To mark the occasion and make sure we actually get proper quality time together, we booked a little countryside retreat about 4 hours from where I live. Logistics also played a part, as she's coming from visiting family and then jetting off again, so this was the easiest way to make it work. We've had this trip planned for about four months. She made the booking and I was more than happy for her to sort it.
For context, my friend and I have shared a bed completely platonically loads of times over the years. Drunkenly crashing at uni, travelling together as broke backpackers, visiting each other in different cities. It's just never been a thing. So when she booked the room it genuinely didn't occur to me to ask about the bed situation. I'd have been fine with sharing or a twin, it just wasn't a question that entered my head.
It only came up when I was chatting to my boyfriend of nearly two and a half years about the trip. Not the first conversation we've had about it, like I said I've been excited, but this time the topic of rooms came up. He'd assumed we had separate rooms and when I said no, it's one room with a double, his whole mood changed. He said he wasn't comfortable with me sharing a bed with her. I should mention here that my friend happens to be a lesbian, and he knows this. When I asked why it was suddenly an issue, he said it "just feels different" and that he wouldn't share a bed with someone who could potentially be attracted to him, so he didn't see why I would. I tried to explain that we've shared beds plenty of times before, that she's basically family to me, and that she has never once, in eight years, shown even a hint of interest in me like that. He wasn't having it.
He then asked me to at least check if the hotel had twin rooms. I did check, to keep the peace, and there aren't any available. His response was that I need to book a separate room. It's a lot of money and honestly I'm not sure I can afford it, especially for something I don't think is necessary.
The bit that's really bothering me is that I mentioned it to my friend. I told her what he'd said and after some conversation I floated the idea that maybe I should just book the separate room. She went quiet for a second and then said "erm, yeah, okay, if that's what you think's best." There was a definite tone in her voice, like she was holding something back and trying not to cause drama. And now I feel awful. I can't work out if I'm more upset that my boyfriend doesn't seem to trust my judgement, or worried that she's hurt by the inference, because let's be honest, the implication is that because she's gay she can't be trusted to share a bed with a friend, which feels really unfair on her.
I know some people here will use the "what if she was a guy" or "would you be okay with your boyfriend sharing a bed with a straight female friend" argument, and I get why, but I'm honestly not sure it's the same thing. This is someone I've known for nearly a decade with zero history or hint of anything romantic. I don't know how I feel and I don't know what to do. Do I pay for a room I can't really afford to keep my boyfriend happy, or hold my ground and risk a row? And is it unreasonable of me to feel a bit insulted on my friend's behalf?