TTC and performance anxiety

[MyCherryPiee]

Anyone else experience TTC and performance anxiety?

I recently had a miscarriage so DH feels extra pressure now. If he knows I’m ovulating or it’s my fertile week he cannot maintain an erection at all.

We’ve tried not discussing my ovulation days however he mentally seems to know that around two weeks after my period ends I go into a fertile week and he struggles. We’ve spoken to the doctor who says try to relax and take the pressure off by only doing foreplay but that defeats the point of TTC.

I’m trying to be nice about it and reduce the pressure but internally I’m so upset and angry at him even though I know he can’t help it. I just feel I had a miscarriage and I just want to try again and he’s taking that away from me :(

anyone been in this situation and any advice?

Yeah we had this exact situation. You really have to be sympathetic, he is not taking it away from you. He wants a baby as well! Can he get himself close and then finish with sex? Not very romantic but might be easier. Or plan to have sex every other day rather than just your fertile days?

You might think your upset and anger is internal but trust me he knows, would you want to have sex with someone who's pissed off with you?
Maybe wait a while until the miscarriage isn't so raw.

We can’t even get it to every second day! If I’ve just finished my period then we can have sex fine but as soon as it comes to about a week after it, he dwindles off and by two weeks after it he cannot maintain an erection at all, even by self pleasure.

We had something like this not long after we got married and it took him a few months to get over the anxiety, but I’m worried now. It’s like he sets himself up for failure before we’ve even began when it’s closure to my ovulation, not even kissing me as I can see he’s already in his head. The EPU said I’ll be extra fertile not after the miscarriage so take advantage of it and I think it’s set him up to fail.

How long did it take your DH to recover?

Can he not try viagra during the times he struggles? Surprised doctor didn't recommend that.