How do you do it

[alwayswonderingwhynotme]

Just reading through here tonight , Some lovely posts about what you’re doing with your evening etc.
im 51 , I have older children but I’ve never had a successful long term relationship that’s lasted more than maybe 4 years.
Ive been very lucky to have had a easy divorce and co parented well , works good and have friends.
but I look at other people and wonder how they’ve managed to find partners who they meet and it lasts, they spend their lives together , they raise the kids together and stay as a couple.
i see lots of people in their twenties happily coupled up and getting married and I wonder how do you “stay together ?”
I know all relationships take work of course , I’m happy being alone with my cats and one dog
I just wonder how some people make it look so easy and natural and I’ve never ever managed it.
i think there possibly is a envious part of me that wishes I could do made it work with someone and done the whole long term family together.
just pondering really

Luck honestly.

I’ve been with my husband from age 18 to now (32). It has never been hard work. Even when life is hard, sometimes very hard, he is easy… being with him is like there’s a part of my brain planted outside of my body.

It’s not that you’ve never been able to manage it. I think you’ve just never met someone you’re so compatible with that it’s easy. And that, as I said, is down to luck.

I've been with DH for 22 years and I agree, we were very lucky to meet at uni. Honestly? I think being nice to each other (yes, all the time) helps. Some people speak to their spouse as if they're a teenage sibling they're stuck sharing a room with. You wouldn't expect a friend to stick around if you swore at them/told them to shut up/picked at their behaviour all the time.

Sometimes we miss the right person, because we were with the wrong one.

Are you male/female ?looking for male/female? Children are the epicentre of Any relationship, assuming you have?

Well I met DH when I was young (uni) but I didn’t marry him until years later as your 20s are a period of such growth & I don’t want constraints, luckily we grew together rather than apart. We just get on really well & make each other laugh, although I still want to kill him sometimes!