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Miserable at work, offered new role. Would you take it?

20 replies

Dearthdearthdearth · 24/07/2026 21:10

I’ve just been offered a new role. It’s essentially the same job I do now but in a completely different environment, the job titles are the same and the new job salary is about £2500 more per annum.

The difference is I won’t be able to work part time hours, instead I have to work compressed hours and go into the office an additional day. Even with the additional day’s commute I will take home an extra £400 because the hours are compressed rather than reduced. I have a child who is about to start primary school and my husband is fantastic and does more than his fair share of pickups and drop offs but I do all the homework with our eldest. I’m worried working longer hours will make me even more tired and not be able to help with homework and after school activities. Our house is pretty messy at the best of times and we never have enough food in, how will I cope?

Currently my commute is under an hour, one train and very easy but incredibly expensive. The new role’s commute is around £15.00 more, even with the additional day, but will be 80 minutes each way and require three trains in the evening to get back.

I am very miserable in my current role and if I leave I will be the fourth person to leave in as many months. I am pretty low on the totem pole but after being publicly excluded by senior management (I’m being vague intentionally) colleagues have felt comfortable letting me know how miserable they are too. I struggle a bit with my mental health and have deep people pleasing issues and struggle with wanting to be liked. I’m meant to be on Sertraline but I just cannot cope with it, in this heat and it wasn’t working as well as it did when I was young. I’ve been in my current role almost 10 years and I know it quite well. But they’ve started hiring replacement people in my team without any experience because they are confident speakers. I am very much not a confident anything and it feels quite personal. I was nominated for an award at work and the people I work with (to my face) say they enjoy working with me.

The new role is a much smaller team and at the moment I work directly for seven colleagues, this is likely to be around four in the new job. In my current role I have a full time work load but I’m paid as part time. The new manager seems nice and has had a long career in what we do so hopefully I’ll be able to learn from them.

I’m scared to move, my husband thinks we’ll be find but he doesn’t see mess and is an optimist. Does taking the job sound like a good idea?

OP posts:
EverMissWicklowSometimes · 24/07/2026 21:11

That commute sounds like a nightmare - three trains?! It would be a no from me for that reason alone.

Gottensomedraws · 24/07/2026 21:13

It’s a tricky one, could you ask for less hours in the new job, request flexible working?
my worry would be the travel and the extra day if the trains don’t come or you miss a connection…

Notsurenotsurenotsure · 24/07/2026 21:15

Hard no. It requires three trains on a good day. As soon as there are issues you are stranded.

Defoncforthis · 24/07/2026 21:15

No, I would contine looking for other work. I don't think this option will be good for you.

macaroon8 · 24/07/2026 21:15

Oh crikey. I think the extra commute (3 trains = loads of scope for disaster!) and day extra in office would put me off. But working in a toxic environment is bad as well. If you leave but the new job doesn't work out how easy cold you get another job? I think I would factor that element into my decision making. £400 isn't a massive amount extra, and not enough to buy in extra help. Or maybe a cleaner for a couple of ours a week

PermanentTemporary · 24/07/2026 21:17

Id be inclined to try and make it work. My worry was the impact on your marriage but your Dh sounds up for it.

Could you drive?

Tell me you already have a cleaner? If not, get one!

Dearthdearthdearth · 24/07/2026 21:17

Sorry, I should have mentioned there is more than more one way to get there but the three train option is about £12 cheaper and is likely what I'll do as the 'faster' option only saves 10 minutes. In the morning, it's two trains but for some reason in the evening the trains aren't direct.

I asked about one day in the office and a part time salary and the manager said after three to six months this may be a possibility but, as it's not in writing, I'm not counting on it.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 24/07/2026 21:18

I was going to say definitely move jobs, until I saw the commute. I couldn't do it. I say that because I've done that sort of commute, before having children, and it's exhausting.

But that being said, you are truly miserable where you are and you have an opportunity to get out, so I think you should take it and see how it goes.

Dearthdearthdearth · 24/07/2026 21:20

I don't currently have a cleaner, but could probably make it work on the new salary!

OP posts:
TappyGilmore · 24/07/2026 21:22

On the basis of that commute, probably not. It does depend how many days you have to go into the office - is there no working from home at all? But four days in the office with that commute, I’d say no and keep looking for something more suitable.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 24/07/2026 21:23

Sorry if this has been asked but have you considered applying for roles at a new organisation? That commute sounds brutal.

PermanentTemporary · 24/07/2026 21:24

My cleaners cost £34 a week, two come in and do an hour (ie 2 hours cleaning work) and it absolutely saves me.

There will be a reason why you’re not driving at least part of the way, but I would ask again why not?

Crystallllll · 24/07/2026 21:28

I’d look for something else personally.

Dearthdearthdearth · 24/07/2026 21:29

PermanentTemporary · 24/07/2026 21:24

My cleaners cost £34 a week, two come in and do an hour (ie 2 hours cleaning work) and it absolutely saves me.

There will be a reason why you’re not driving at least part of the way, but I would ask again why not?

I'm not a very confident driver and it would be going into London so I wouldn't be able to drive.

I would be expected to go in two days a week.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 24/07/2026 21:31

Could you drive to a station that will take you in to a single train journey?

PermanentTemporary · 24/07/2026 21:32

If you’re only going in two days a week that commute sounds better (if still awful).

WhatNextImScared · 24/07/2026 21:32

School is way more disruptive to work than pre school years. I had to become self employed with 2 in school as it became unmanageable for us.

That’s all I’ll say, as I can’t comment on how you manage right now and what capacity you feel you have as a couple.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 24/07/2026 21:36

I was all for moving until you mentioned the commute.

LimeFish · 24/07/2026 22:06

The commute is only 2 days a week so I'd go for it and once past probation and happy with the job consider moving to make the commute better if you can? Spend some of the extra money on a cleaner and put DH in charge of tidying.

BurntBroccoli · 25/07/2026 16:50

Definitely not with an 80 minute commute! That will get tiring very quickly and what if there are delays?

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