Its like they've been dropped at an orphanage!

[BrownWoodenChair]

My child has gone to his father's for 2 weeks over summer. My parents are acting like I've put him in an orphanage! Do anyone else's parents act like your child being with their father is awful and abandonment? A woman in my work said her parents are the same.

Oh pass no remarks on them. As long as you are happy your kid will have a good time that’s the main thing. I left mine for a trip of a lifetime at home with their Dad (not divorced). The way some people went on you would have thought I didn’t even bother with the orphanage, I just abandoned mine on the street. Take some time to yourself the two weeks will be over in a flash.

Yes, I get this attitude from my mum when kids are with their dad (we are divorced). She acts so (faux) surprised every time I mention they are with him for the weekend (EoW). Then when he takes them away I have to listen to how he’s such a great dad. It’s tedious.

🤣 I bet it's the same people who would not bat an eyelid if your DH did the same!

My parents always ask, “What will they eat?” Or “What did you leave for them [to eat]?” And I aways reply, “I don’t know.” Because they’ve got a perfectly competent dad looking after them!

My dc are now adults, and my parents are STILL asking this. At least they no longer ask, “Who will put them to bed?

I mean it was fine for my ex to leave me to fo everything for 3 years so what's the issue?

Tell them their are peole out there that are orphans and your son is not one, he has a family that hes spening time with.

Im an orphan so i know what it means.

Did your dad do any active parenting? I wonder if they are projecting based on their experience as parents.

Yes my dad was good. Unfortunately I chose a loser to have a kid with😂

I would struggle not seeing mine for two weeks. Their dad doesn't take them for more than 5 days even on holiday out of respect for my feelings. Otherwise YANBU.

This is the 1st time.

Does that mean you never take them for more than five days so that he doesn't have to cope with it either? Or does the concern for feelings only go one way?

My parents first went away for the weekend together when I was 10, and they came home early because they missed us. We were having a whale of a time with a neighbour (and the neighbour has a VERY famous relative, so we get to say the equivalent of "Mick Jagger's sister was my babysitter").

I get serious eyebrows raised at me when I tell them that I'm away for a night or we both are. Several heads fell off when my husband took our 2yo on a weekend away by himself for no particular reason (and after that weekend my son switched to asking for daddy as much as mummy).

Crack on. It's good for everyone.

I'll admit that I would find it odd, and have to actively remind myself that some dad's are competent involved parents. But that's entirely based on my own experience of having never known one, not a reflextion on your ex. My own children would not be safe with their dad for two days, let alone two weeks (he has supervised contact for good reason)

He has a partner who is the adult in the relationship so I feel he's safer when she's there. His dad is just lazy.

I know! People are so pass remarkable! The main culprit for the bad comments doesn’t even have her kids living with her. All the I don’t know how you could do leave them for two weeks! Her teens don’t live with her full stop, which is fine each to their own, but when you are so ready with the comments about others

What? So when you obviously responded with 'but your kids don't even live with you' what did she say?

At the time she said it her kids lived with her and her husband but they split up some years later and she left them with him. Which again is ok, each to their own, but she made me feel like the worst mother that evening. Even though I had full support of my husband and family to go for two weeks somewhere. To this day 15 years later I will never forget it