My hairdresser took his own life a few weeks ago, and I can't stop thinking about it.

[LondonLass2026]

As per title. I'd been going to him for about 7 years, ever since we moved up north. There were two of them working together, and this guy left to open up on his own three years ago.

He did well at first, and then his ex started a campaign of harassment. Some of the stuff was really bad, and very specific so I don't want to describe it as it would make who he is obvious. It clearly affected his work as the ex was targeting the business - last time I was there in May, he had about 5 prank calls.

I then tried to make my follow up appointment with him a few weeks ago, and couldn't get through on the phone, online, nothing. I then went back to my old hairdresser, who this guy used to work for, and he let me know that he'd sadly taken his own life.

He and I used to chat for literally hours as my colour was taking, or I had a treatment in, etc. I knew all about his issues. I just never thought it would end like this. He seemed upbeat last time I saw him which was about 2 weeks before he passed. Which makes it even worse. Last he said was that he wanted to move abroad.

Not really expecting anything from this. Just pouring out my heart, really! Just feel so sad for him.

I a really sorry to hear this.

It’s heartbreaking, I had a similar experience a long time ago. It happens to the nicest people. Just remember him fondly, but try not to dwell is my advice 💐

I'm so sorry. It's an awful thing, it really is.
And so hard to get your head around.

That’s so sad. Totally understandable you’d be reeling x

That is just awful OP. Such a sad story.

That’s so sad, poor man.

It's the way he was so positive the last time I saw him. He was determined not to let the ex dictate to him or ruin his life. And then when I saw the alternative hairdresser and mentioned I couldn't get through to him, he said "ah, you haven't heard" and I replied "no I know about the ex and the harassment". And that's when he told me.

Awful. I wish harassment was taken much more seriously.

How awful. One of the cleaners at work died by suicide last year and I was so upset. He’d always been chatty and friendly, no idea he was in such a dark place.

Yes exactly! I knew he was struggling, but not that he was suffering so badly.

They can really put on a brave face can't they? Absolutely heartbreaking.

I think the video by the Norwich (?) football club was good at not having preconceived ideas. I think about that video quite often actually.

Really sorry to read this OP, my Dad took his own life just over 2 years ago and he was the life and soul, we had no idea there was any thoughts of taking his own life or mental health issues.
Some people are extraordinarily good at hiding things.
Try to remember your hairdresser fondly, he sounded a lovely man.

That video had me bawling when I first saw it.

I'm so so sorry. 💐

Yes, so many men, and I'm sure women, are just great at hiding things. It's so tragic.

Hi Op, I felt sad hearing your news. Suicide is very sad to hear about. I can only send you a hug over the internet. I hope you can get to meet up with your friend's family and other friends I think it is terrible that situations are so bad for people that they reach a decision that impacts so much for friends and their family.

There is something shocking about suicide, in a way that no other sudden death is, because someone chose that. My daughter died by suicide in September, and I’ve heard from school friends she hasn’t been in contact with in years expressing their shock.

I'm sorry to hear it. However it's quite common to feel much better once you've decided to end it. I did. It felt like a weight off my shoulders because nothing would be my problem anymore.

@Balloonhearts ; agreed, once the desciscion is made or once you realise there is a way out - it can be much easier to be someone else in those final day/sweeks.

Yes this makes sense. I had thought he was getting back on track and that's why he was so positive. How tragic that he was actually going to end it all.

It’s completely understandable you feel like this OP, and I’m sorry to hear it about him. I think there is something unusual about our relationships with hairdressers, dentists etc, especially if we see them over a long period. You aren’t really in their lives in any meaningful way, and yet they can be people you chat with so there’s a sort of intimacy there. It can leave a strange feeling when something awful like this happens.

Sorry to read this OP and to all the other sad stories. I had lost touch with my once bestie from school. She died by suicide. The thought of the loneliness of her secretly making the decision is almost too much to bear.

I have 3 male colleagues in their fifties who all died by suicide. I work for a male dominated very large company. Each one was shocking but one touched me very much and I still think about him occasionally. What was going through his mind, why he did that, it was 7 or 8 years ago.

it is just never the answer, it can’t be.

I’m so, so sorry that you’re going through this.

I hope the ex feels guilty .

I'm so, so terribly sorry 💐 🫂.