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Should I address the other grandmother's reaction to the baby's sex?

20 replies

Pjpj · 22/07/2026 18:32

I have a great relationship with my son and his wife who are expecting their first baby soon, they recently did a gender scan and are having a boy. They both thought it was a girl until this point as did her mum and almost everyone else, as they had talked about being a girl mum/dad etc from the start. However her mums reaction was poor - FFS - send him back and how could you do this to me when I wanted a girl was the first reaction. She tried to then humour everyone with I will just have to get used to it etc etc.
and made it all about her (it will be first grandchild for her- not for me) I was so angry with her as I saw the reaction to her outburst first hand and how it affected the couple. so do I step in and tell her what I think of her reaction and risk some animosity between us or just let it go and leave it for them to say something if they wish??

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 22/07/2026 18:34

Let it go. It’s for your DIL to deal with not you.

orangehandles · 22/07/2026 18:35

Say nothing. Keep well out of it and let the baby's parents deal with her.

Hopefulsalmon · 22/07/2026 18:35

Keep out of it. No good will come of you stepping in.

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Squirrelsnut · 22/07/2026 18:35

It's not your issue to address. She does sound awful, though!

Sparrowsandbudgies · 22/07/2026 18:36

Do not say anything. You will damage relations for years to come.

DeskGnome · 22/07/2026 18:36

No, you stay out of it.

People are allowed their reactions even if they are bat shit.

Also, "send him back and how could you do this to me when I wanted a girl", was clearly a misplaced joke considering she's given birth herself and knows this is biologically impossible.

Snorlaxo · 22/07/2026 18:36

Let it up- you could end up with your son and DIL being mad at you for making her mum angrier.

Yanbu to think that her reaction is disgusting.

Congratulations on becoming a grandmother to a grandson 💐

DeskGnome · 22/07/2026 18:37

And if you did address it, why would you not be addressing this ridiculous nonsense?

"They both thought it was a girl until this point as did her mum and almost everyone else, as they had talked about being a girl mum/dad etc from the start."

Jeadorelalabrador · 22/07/2026 18:37

You focus on you eg share your wonderful delight that they are having a BABY if anyone comments on the biological sex - whatever sex this baby is - it is very very welcome and loved how wonderful and say nothing else.
Do not comment on names other than to say …. Felix what a lovely name when they announce it.

Shinyandnew1 · 22/07/2026 18:38

It’s a very bizarre reaction but it has nothing to do with you.

It’s quite strange for everyone to assume it was a girl though?! Why have they been talking about being a girl mum and dad?

Sassylovesbooks · 22/07/2026 18:38

No. You keep well out of the situation. It's down to your DIL to speak to her parents. Her Mum's reaction was dreadful and she should be ashamed of herself. Support your son and DIL but don't take it upon yourself to speak to your DIL's Mum, it's not your place.

Unpaidworkmakestheeconomytick · 22/07/2026 18:38

Other Granny will always have some things she does better and some things not so much. My advice is to enjoy the parts that you can, endure the parts that you can’t change and ignore everything else.
Congratulations on your new grandchild to be.

marmitegirl01 · 22/07/2026 18:40

Some threads you just know the answer from the title !!
of course you don’t address it!!

Chalotte · 22/07/2026 18:41

It's none of your business OP, stay out of it.

Pjpj · 22/07/2026 18:43

Thanks i guess I just wanted reassurance that by leaving it alone I wasn’t being unsupportive! It made me so mad!! Appreciate your comments thank you.

OP posts:
orangehandles · 22/07/2026 18:44

Least said, soonest mended.

Meadowfinch · 22/07/2026 18:46

orangehandles · 22/07/2026 18:35

Say nothing. Keep well out of it and let the baby's parents deal with her.

This, continue to be supportive and delighted with the news. You'll be a great gran and always more welcome as a result.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 22/07/2026 19:16

Id say nowt, but I'd silently judge. My fil said similar when both my twins were male. Never said anything (dh did) but I never forgot.

IAmARayOfSunshine · 23/07/2026 13:39

I would say something if they said it in front of me.

Indianajet · 23/07/2026 13:42

Do not fall out with the other grand.other - you are going to be connected for a very long time!

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