Ex stopping daughter staying over after disagreement between us

[ohwhatsinaname]

soooooo of course there is a backstory and i could be here forever, so in a nutshell, myself and ex split up and i went with a new partner and he went with his ex- i know, i know proper Jeremy Kyle, we were part of a group of friends, and it was all very awkward and very very messy.

Lots of things are happening in between, but my ex is constantly punishing my AuADHD for everything that i have done, if anything happens or there is a issue or disagreement then he uses my dd saying oh because of XYZ you cant stay this week or weekend, he basically is saying she cant stay anymore because of any issue that has gone on between us, and imo using her as a weapon to get at me and to try to still be controlling.

I have two kids 1 x DS who didnt want anything to do with his dad until the past few weeks and 1 x DD who she has seen for months, but suddenly due to an issue that tbh i did create he is punishing our dd by now not letting her stay over any more, even tho she does want to.

Stopping her staying over with him? That’s very abusive. Your poor dd.

Very confusing.
Who is the daddy of your daughter? Where does he live?
Is her dad saying she cannot stay with him? Does she want to stay over with him? Why does it matter?

Can neither of you be bothered to put the kids first?

What was the incident between you? Was your DD involved in any way?

What issue did you create? Did it involve your new partner and/or your daughter?

What were the issues? Is your ex your DD's dad?

I can't understand exactly what you are saying. I think it's that you have a DD with your Ex, and that the Ex keeps cancelling contact with DD in order to punish you. I'm assuming that DD is the Ex's child?
If that's right, then the bottom line is that you can't force someone to have contact with a child, there is no mechanism for that.
It's really important for DD to have consistency, and Ex needs to understand that, whether that is through a calm conversation with you, or mediation, or through discussion with someone else. Is there someone you can both trust to help talk through this?
I wonder if you might apologise for whatever it is that you have done - you seem to be saying that Ex is justified in being upset with you - and make it about DD.

Do you suspect that Ex is making excuses not to see DD because of the fact that she is AuADHD?