Does fertility after 40 decline gradually or stop quite suddenly?

[failingfertility]

As fertility declines after 40 is it gradual or a sudden inability to get pregnant ?

I had thought it would just be chemical pregnancies, miscarriages, chromosomal abnormalities etc, I tried from 40 and I’m 45 now. Nothing. I had 2 dc at 35 and 38 easily so it feels like a sudden drop in egg quality so catastrophic I can’t get pregnant at all? Does that happen ?

I worried about hidden perimenopause but I’ve repeatedly had bloods done and all are normal, even my AMH is very high for my age plus I ovulate every month so I can only assume that I’m ovulating a bad egg each month ?

Going to move to donor eggs and will be doing a cycle end of August but I still have this feeling of wanting to know what suddenly changed so drastically that I literally haven’t had a hint of a positive test in 5 years. Just age ? Is it that way sometimes that your eggs can turn overnight ?

How often are you having sex and is it the same partner?

Yes same partner, he has had SA and all was normal . At least every other day and most months for 3 days in a row on fertile days. It just hasn’t happened

I’m so sorry. Sounds like you’re going all you can it’s really odd. Hopefully as you’ve had 2 successful pregnancies together already the donor egg will do the job.

Yes I’m hoping so. It’s just frustrating as we’ve had literally everything tested over and over and nothing is showing up as an issue so it has to be my age, but I’m just so surprised that seemingly overnight I was too old to conceive !

I’ve had 2 rounds of ivf due to husbands nearly non existent sperm count. From what I understand it’s more of a steady decline than a hard fast drop off the edge over a certain age. Best of luck to you x

I had exactly the same experience, conceived first try both times at 34 and 37, started trying again at 40 assuming it would be the same and nothing happened at all, no losses, not a sniff of pregnancy in the 3yrs or so we tried. For me it was a drop off a cliff apparently. We decided to stop over a year ago and I’m coming up 45. Also had tests and all fine. No idea either as I had eggs left on scans and have signs of ovulation most months.

It sounds like you are committed though, I was sad for about 6 months and now I feel like I dodged a bullet to be really honest. I’m not sure if that is particularly helpful to say given how you might be feeling, I don’t mean to upset. Just now that peri is starting to hit and how tired I am, stuff going on with my kids, it would have been haaard.

My friend had waited years for children, and thought it was going to happen. She hit 45, and got pregnant with triplets naturally! One didn’t make it to birth, but she has two little girls now. Totally unexpected at the age she was.

I had successful pregnancies before 40 and only miscarriages after. Sorry OP.

I know it’s not what you’re asking but I would suggest you think about the donor egg plan. I’m donor conceived and my siblings were both conceived with a different father. I was very sad when I found out. We have all turned out very differently too.

i don’t want to hi jack the thread so I’ll stop there.

So you are 45 with a ten and seven year old?
Even if you conceive relatively quickly with a donor egg you will be in/close to your 50's before the new child starts primary school! Personally with two existing children I would be exploring why I was desperate enough at this age to be considering a donor egg pregnancy rather than focusing on the children I had.

I don't know because I haven't put it to the test lately, but one minute I was having very regular monthly periods and had my third child at 39. Next thing, I stop breastfeeding at 41, my periods came back and they were all over the place. I am now 43 and I could not tell you when I will get my next period. Could be in three weeks, could be 6 weeks, could be 8...its a total mystery. I feel like many cycles don't involve the release of an egg, judging by my symptoms and the length of the cycles. I wouldn't like to be conceiving now but it felt like I went into my last pregnancy very fertile at 39 and came out the other side at 41 with massively diminished fertility.

I watched a YouTube video about IVF with Prof Alice Roberts. Older eggs have tougher membranes that sperm and IVF needles cannot penetrate. It's nature's way of preventing older pregnancies......

It can be either depending on the cause. That said, secondary infertility doesn’t necessarily have to be related to your age. Sometimes it just happens.

It depends on the individual. I had 2 successful pgs in my 20s and 30s, and 2 pgs after 40. Of the 2 pgs after 40, one was abnormal and I had tfmr and one was successful. I'm 47 now and have no peri symptoms and regular periods. I'm not ttc so no idea how fertile I am right now. I've never been able to get pg very quickly (took 12+ cycles each time) but once I've got pg I've never had a miscarriage or any issues with being pg.

At my last pg I was 41 and I had mostly given up hope tbh and stopped getting my hopes up, and didn't bother tracking cycles or timing as it would make me too aware. Just left it in the hands of fate and didn't use contraception. For me that was a low key way to ttc without dwelling on it and being realistic as I thought my odds were low, and I'm happy that I did eventually have dc3 but if it never happened that would have been fine too.

I was very fertile in my thirties and had three children all concieved first time. Although two miscarriages in that time too. Had number 3 at 39 and tried for number 40 probably at 40. Nothing! Resigned to the fact it wasn't going to happen but continued having unprotected sex. Eventually feel pregnant at 42 and had number 4 at 43. I will say, even though you may not want to hear that having a baby at 43 was much harder than the three I had in my thirties. Like a previous poster I think I went straight into peri after the pregnancy and it has felt quite stark how limiting a baby has been for family activities etc. She's great. But it has been a more tricky experience than the older 3 and we don't have significant age gaps.

Apologies, it wasn't Alice Roberts, it was with Alex Jones.

Are you adamant that you want a third child? It seems a lot to go through at 45 with donor eggs when you already have 2 young children.