Half-brother wants a relationship but he feels like a stranger

[pizzaandchips2078]

I have one full sister and one half-brother and sister. Me and both sisters share a mum and grew up in the same house, although there is a 9-year gap between me and my half-sister. I have never seen her any different from my full sister. Even writing half here feels wrong, etc. My brother is a different story to the point I dont even see him as a brother, really. My dad very much got himself a new family, so I didn't really see him much growing up, etc

My brother wants to form a relationship with us. He doesn't have any other siblings apart from us. I do feel for him but he's a stranger to me really.

Don't know what to do

The obvious answer is to get to know him. Then he won't be a stranger.

Have you got reasons not to want to get to know him? What's making you hesitate?

Up to you. Can you take it slow, a coffee, etc ?

This was similar to my dad and I, didn't know him at all. Met a few times and I decided to just drop it. Too much time had passed and a lot of resentment.
Not relevant to the original question:
Also if I'm honest he spent half the time talking about how amazing his "kids" were aka the kids of the woman he left my mum for that he brought up while ignoring me. And asking nothing about me. Took me a long time to get over this.

I've just recently met my half brother tho in my head always said brother, and past resentment with parents was nothing to do with him at all so unfair to bring anything bad to the table..seen each other a lot in the past 6 months and I love it..he chose as soon as he was old enough to message and it went from there...it was never his fault the parents broke up and one half chose to keep him away...

Please give him at least a chance. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, and that is fair enough. It know it takes a bit of time to get to know someone and he has reached out to the only half siblings he has. I would do it. Hope it works out OK x

I’ve been in this situation with half sister and just want to say, if you don’t want to get to know him, that’s okay. You don’t have to give him a chance or get to know him if you don’t want to.

That's awful! I hope you have found peace and happiness in spite of a so-called father like that.

It’s important to separate your brother from your dad. They are two separate people.

Other than that, meet up for a coffee. He might be an amazing guy, and you might wonder why you ever hesitated.

Or maybe not. But unless you try you'll never know.

But he is his own person.

If nothing else, he could be a friend?

idk, the older I get, the more people who are invested in developing and maintaining a relationship the better. A lot of people can’t be arsed. Give him a chance!

If you don’t want a relationship with him then dont, ive often wondered about this situation as I have half brothers and sisters on my mums side so we grew up together but ive often thought if my dad had children and they tried to find me I wouldn’t be interested in a relationship with them.

I'd give him a chance and get to know him...that's how strangers become people that you know!

If you really don't want to then you're not obligated to. I just think you can't really have too many friends/family to look out for you so if someone is keen to join the team I'd definitely give them a chance. I don't think I've ever seen a post on here complaining that they have too many good people in their life! Plenty complaining about being lonely though.

A stranger is a friend you've never met and all that. I'd give him a chance and take it slow- just see it as meeting someone who might become a friend. If you don't like him then you don't have to see him again. You don't have to label it anything and treat it like a formal re-establishment of sibling ties. Just go along, have a nice chat, if it's fun and you want to do it again do, if you don't then you will both know you gave it a chance.

If you don't want to, then don't. You're under no obligation to give up time or put in emotional labour for him if you feel he won't add anything to your life.

If it's just that you feel awkward because he feels like a stranger, but you do want to get to know him, then as pp have said, just keep it light. Go out for coffee, maybe add him to a family WhatsApp group chat, and see how things go.

@pizzaandchips2078 does he have a relationship with your dad?

I found it too weird when one of mine reached out. For me it’s too odd, we look the same, have a lot of weird things in common - but I don’t know her, and the only reason I’d have to talk to her is we have the same dad (who I also don’t know and didn’t want to meet either). Idk if the people comparing it to meeting a stranger and becoming friends have any experience of how weird it actually is.

if It was me I would at least try. I would always wonder otherwise.

I agree.

Get to know him, take it slow, but he is family and it must be hard for him having no sibling relationship to speak of