Spending time together as a family

[Blueskies3]

I have an 8 year old and an 11 year old. My 11 year old (and sometime 8 year old) says what we do is boring, all we ever do is stay at home, we never go on holidays. He says kids in his class go away for weekends and overseas trips all the time (for context we don’t live in the UK). A normal weekend might look like seeing the grandparents, taking them to their football game, and a visit to the park/ library/ beach. They have a friend that lives nearby that they probably play with once a week. My Dad has been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis isn’t good at all, the kids know about it. I don’t want to leave my Dad for long at this stage- maybe a night away tops. Plus I would find it hard to relax. I’m also aware that in about 5 minutes my children won’t want to be with me.

How do you spend time as a family? Do you go away a lot?

You don’t have to go away but maybe you could find interesting things to do - activities, museums. Do you go to the cinema? It sounds as if your children are asking for more of your attention. Surely you could take them away for a weekend or for a proper day out? You have to balance your desire to be with your dad with the needs of your children. As you yourself said, the 11 year old won’t want to be with you much longer.

Your 11 year old is a pre teen now. It's really normal at this age to find a visit to grandparents and a trip to the park boring, when it used to be enough to keep him happy. I agree with pp - you don't need to do lots of overnight trips, but can you think of some days out that would be more fun? How about a theme park, bowling, trampoline park, climbing wall? Ask your kids for ideas too.

Also can he meet his school friends at weekends? As well as this one local kid?

What do they want to do? Get them involved in the planning - talk about budget and restrictions and go from there together.

and as hard as the situation with your Dad is please don’t let it stop you and your children living life fully.

I agree with pp - he will still enjoy the nostalgia of things he did as a kid but probably needs more.

When he’s at the beach can he have a paddle board or surfboard?

When he is at the park can he have a skateboard or inline skates?

When he’s at the library … nah you can’t jazz that up! But maybe soften it with a stop to buy a bubble tea or an ice cream. Or maybe they run a teen coding club at his library or something to tack on?

Could grandad teach them to play chess or cards or assemble and paint model planes?

I take my kids cycling a lot, and from age 7 they are hell bent on learning wheelies and hops and tackling MTB and pump tracks. Boys like the high octane stuff - a lovely ride in the woods and a picnic won’t cut it any more!

But once they have got it out of their system, happy to sit down and do something quieter.

Thanks everyone. Yes, I think in his own way he is probably saying ‘hey don’t forget us, we need attention too’. I think I probably forget he’s a preteen now and would find those same things boring. He loves adventure things like fishing and body boarding. I probably need to take them on more trips and activities.