Prom travel problems.

[Rainydays26]

Ds has year 6 prom tomorrow. He finishes school at 3.10 it takes around 50 mins to get home. Then i have to get him ready and back to school for 5pm. I need to pick him up at 6.30pm

Then there's an after prom party which is a 15 min walk away from the school. Thats starts at 6.45 and finishes at 9pm. Parents are allowed to stay.

I don't drive so its alot of travelling and ubers add up to quite alot.
I can't ask other Parents for help partly because I live quite away from the school. And I don't really know the other parents.

My adult son said he can help me out by driving us but I feel like im taking the piss because of all the coming and going.plus he will need to drive from his house plus back home after so its alot to ask.

The other option is I ask adult ds to pick year6 ds up from school bring him home. I get him ready then me and adult ds can drop him off. Adult ds could go back to his home. I can sit in the park for 80 mins. Then take ds to the after prom. And stay till 9pm. But I'm also not keem on that because I'm not good being around other people. I can tolerate it if I really have to. May have to busy myself on my phone though.

So do I just ask adult ds to help with picking up from school school and dropping back to school for prom ahd I hang around the area and do the rest or do I let ds help with the whole thing. Would I be taking the piss?

Sorry if there are typos i cant see what I'm writing well.

DS makes his own way home at 3.10. Your adult son drives him back to school for 5pm. Your DS walks with the others the 15 mins to the party (or if other parents are driving their kids I’m sure your DS could get a ride with one of his friends) Your adult son picks him up at 9pm to bring him home. Your adult son has offered, it’s one night, not taking the piss. No need for you to hang out in a park for 80 mins.

If your adult son is offering, then you’re not taking the piss. Say a massive thank you, give him enough to cover petrol (and more) as you’re saving lots on Ubers. Help your adult son out where you can.

Hope your younger son has a great time. I’m sure he will like having his big brother there.

Your adult son has offered so just thank him and accept his offer, then it’s all sorted

I agree with @YoureTheFinestIveSeen. Thank your adult son and give him generous petrol money and perhaps some sort of treat.

I guess so. It just seems like alot of faffing.

It is a lot of faffing but it has to be done if you want your child to have a nice experience.

A lot of parenting is a lot of faffing. For example when my dd got good at her sport in her teenage years I spend two evenings a week from 8pm until 9.30pm in a car park waiting for her because the alternative was to tell her that I didn’t mind taking her when she was ten but now she’s actually showing some talent at it, I can’t be arsed.

Can you find a nice cafe or similar where he can get changed /you can hang out?

It's madness to drive backwards and forwards constantly.

Or ask a friend who lives near school if they can get ready together?

Yeah theres a cafe place i could get him changed. But i would be hanging around the area from 3.10pm till 9pm
I don't have school mum friends.

Yeah I know its faffing as a parent. But i feel a bit guilty about adult ds driving back and forth. I don't think he would be happy to sit in his car for several hours.

Normally I just deal with it. But today its going to be .
3.10 school pick up. ➡️ home. 3.25ish ⬅️ leave to school 4.30,ish . Drop of 5pm . Hang round for 90 mins ⬅️pick ds up at 6.30pm.➡️ take him to prom after party, for 6.45pm . Hang round till 9pm.

Maybe I'm just over thinking.

Your older son has offered to help you run his brother around and the end of year 6 events are a big deal, so worth doing the faff as a one off. I don't know why you'd feel guilty about this?

Perhaps you and your older DS could do something nice like go for dinner during the after party?

Me and food are not friends at the moment. I think i will ask adult ds how he wants to do it.

I think its because I'm not used to having help and don't want to be aburden .

I will stop thinking about it because i will literally argue with myself 🙈

Your son is offering to help his brother out go with your sons plan, it sounds like you are struggling with stuff let your son help you out.

Why not do

• you pick DS up. Get him take him to a cafe for a drink and then to get ready for prom

You drop DS to prom then come home

• your older son can then go to pick up DS and take him to prom after party and wait and bring him home

You and food “aren’t friends”? And you have no mum friends and are worried about being a burden … are you ok op?

Honestly in this situation I wild go at 3.10 with a packed tea for ds and clothes to change into, take him to the cafe for a cola. Then I’d just sit around in the park til 9pm or go for a long walk. You can listen to a podcast or read a book or call a friend

Take up your elder son's offer, it's one evening, hardly a burden.

My adult son said he can help me out by driving us

Then you don't have a problem. Your son has offered to help out, so let him. You presumably spent at least 18 years helping him become a grown adult, so why not let him return the favour in some small way now?

It sounds like your adult son potentially lives close by if he’d be going home between the drop offs, so why not just take the prom clothes to adult son’s house, pick him up from school and get ready there? When at the prom, you and adult son go for some food somewhere.

Do you live 15 minutes from school for 50? In your original post you said 50 but this reads more like you live 15 minutes away?

Do you need to go at all? I wouldn’t if I had stomach issues. Just let his brother sort him out, he’s offered, it’s not a long drive and it’s only one evening.

Im Just not good socialising i get worried about it so I avoid it. I guess I'm jusy used to doing things on my own.

I am thinking about it but 6hrs is a long time when its just hanging around.

He he doesn't live close. When i said back home I meant to my house.
We wouldn't go out for food. So it would be hanging around or going home for a bit

Oh sorry its 50 mins by public transport. Around 15 mins car. This post is based on if ds drove.

It really is a no brainer to let your son drive, he wants to or he wouldn't have offered,

I don't have stomach issues. Sorry i had meant I'm a bit off food.
I want to go to see him off they are doing pics etc. He would want me there for that part

The afrer party are they all going is it a parents organised thing ? I am sure there will be someone you can talk with, maybe your son could go with you.