5 year old with autism barely eating

[Adhdmum2]

I don't know what to do so I'm in need of advice please.
My DD is 5 and is diagnosed with autism. We cannot get her to eat meals at all!
At school she takes a packed lunch, we've tried sandwiches, bagels and now pasta but it comes home slightly nibbled.
Evening meal times are a real struggle too, only eating the "safe foods".
Her safe foods consist of mini jammies dodgers, apples but only at snack time, chocolate crepes but only Aldi ones, pepperami, crisps (blue or pink only), the occasional hot cross bun, chicken poppers and that's about it. Oh and biscuits and milk
We are really struggling to get actual nutrients into her. It's pretty much limited to the apple, milk and maybe sweetcorn and broccoli.
What can I do? There's nothing to her! She's very very tall but so slim.
She will occasionally go on a ravenous hunt and surprise us but it's rare.
I'm looking for some steps I can take over the summer holidays to help the situation please

My autistic son is very very similar with foods but we’ve finally gotten to a point where he will eat a good range of foods now some tips I would recommend:

-always offer safe foods for every snack/ meal

-where possible also offer a tiny portion of something else/ whatever your having for example, absolutely no pressure. Most of the time my son flicks it off the plate but sometimes he will sniff or lick it and very occasionally will try it. Put it on a different plate nearby if necessary.

— Have a real think about the kind of textures and colours your daughter likes, for my son this is crispy beige stuff, he hates anything with a sauce. So for example we have tried my son with things like dried coconut flakes/ dried apple crisps etc and they went down really well and I think it’s because they look very similar to the kind of foods he already eats. He now also eats fresh apple which has been a huge huge win for us.

-when my son started becoming slightly more adventurous I’ve branched out with trying to make more homemade snacks like oat bars, muffins, cakes etc a lot things have been a fail but most of the time he will enjoy these things now and I know what’s in them which is a bonus. He really likes jammy dodgers too so I’ve been making a jammy dodger style oat bar and he’s been loving them recently.

-my son really likes pizza so I often make things into a pizza like meal so for example if I make bolognese I will put some on a tortilla wrap with some grated cheese and cook in the oven until crispy, I never lie to him and say that it’s pizza when it’s not & I’m always honest about what it is but it’s worked really well for us as he just likes that familiarity.

-magnesium supplement (I don’t know if it’s coincidental but he has been much more relaxed around food since starting this and just more chilled and regulated in general) we get a gummy style one along with his multivitiamin and he happily eats them because he thinks they are sweets.

-I buy a superfood boost pouch from the baby section at Tesco and I literally just add a spoonful into everything I make for the kids, basically anything you can add in to boost the nutritional value and calories is worthwhile doing so long as it doesn’t impact taste and texture too much.

—my son does have learning delays but really loves cooking and baking and watching that process and I’ve found he is more willing to try things if he’s helped make them or even if I just show him what I’m doing so for example I made sausage rolls yesterday and showed him them before they went in the oven and he enjoys listening for the timer and then seems more excited to try them.

I don’t believe my DS has Arfid but he does have a lot of sensory issues around food but these things may not be so helpful for a child with Arfid so I wouldn’t want to wrongly advise. My son has never been fussy about brands and type of treat type thing so I recognise we might be dealing with different situations.

Its taken a huge amount of time but I’m now at a point where I’ve got a decent number of meals he will eat with a few minor adaptations and he will happily eat homeade treats and things like sausage rolls with grated carrot in so I’m getting a small amount of veg in now as well.

Hi OP, I am in a similair boat at the moment with my 4 year old DD who I've recently requested an autism assessment for. Its great that she likes her milk, apples, chicken. My DD lives mostly off Asda brand sausage rolls (won't eat other brands), brioche, strawberries and strawberry juice sweets. She has recently re-introduced an Asda brand toddler hot pot which she cut for about 6 months and I'm obviously very happy about! We used to try keeping the pots and making our own version but she always knew and wouldn't eat it. Is she under a dietician? Ours have suggested we get her bloods taken to check for deficiencies.
She's tall so shes growing which is great. My DD is 3rd centile at the moment. All I can suggest is letting her eat as much as she wants whenever she wants which is all we can do at the moment. I have read a few times that children with ARFID sometimes spontaneously pick new foods, maybe she might pick something in the supermarket she likes the look of?

We took a tough approach and did a two day behavioural intervention, introducing 4/5 new foods at a time, in 5 sessions each day , so over 40 novel foods in two days.

We were able to keep 15 of those in his diet long term which expanded his diet from scary malnourishment to restricted but no longer a health concern.

Forgot a thing that has really helped with ‘life’ - DS is quite good at generalising and will accept generalised food. So he knows that all bolognese tastes different, but because bolognese is safe at home, it’s safe everywhere. This has been a lifesaver for holidays, eating out etc. Similarly, he has a pizza brand that he loves and at home will only eat this brand, but has got to a place where a cheese and tom pizza is safe - again, a godsend for parties as a kid, he knew he would be safe with two slices of margarita which means no-one bothered about the fact that he really didn’t eat that much. So talking about how a food might taste slightly different but is still the same food might be something you want to work on with an eye to getting out and about more.

Lovely update OP!

I have an 8 year old with ASD who probably has ARFID tbh but its extremely difficult to get that diagnosed where we live. NHS not interested in helping with his diet because he isn't losing weight.

I will echo pp saying that sometimes going to new places makes a huge difference DS eats stuff on holidays and at parties that he won't touch at home.

As far as you can, I would try hiding the packaging as it reduces the amount they get fixed on specific food brands, and reduces the chance you lose a safe food when the company decides to change the packaging design.

That is a really powerful strategy. Not to undermine at all but more to show the variety, we kind of have an opposite thing going on. DS has "home normal" and "holiday normal". He can't abide "similar but not identical", but he is ok with holiday things being different, as long as they adhere to holiday normal.

I never thought I'd say this but AI food is brilliant for him. The first AI holiday we went on he basically survived on chips, then tried some fish on the last day and loved it. Since then he has developed a system where he loads up half a plate with identical salad - toms, sweetcorn, lettuce, stuff they always have - and that gives him a safe base that lets him put unfamiliar foods on the other half of the plate. There's always some sort of rice, chips or bread and we used to take wraps for him just in case. When self catering we do the same half plate of salad for him. What's weird about this is that it's hard to get salad into him at home. But on holiday it's become safe.

DH has some traumatic memories of feeding clinic strategies from the 90s, which I think made a huge difference to how we've approached things with our autistic children ourselves.

Gosh the last time we did an all inclusive holiday we picked up what we thought were chicken nuggets but we're actually artichoke hearts (the hotel mixed up the labels) and discovered DD is allergic to artichoke! Which I feel such a knob saying every time I declare it!! She's also allergic to shellfish but neither is deadly (so she's not had a scary experience relating to food).
She had sepsis as a toddler so we recently had her immune system tested so we know her blood work is good thankfully.

Thank you all so much for your suggestions. I'm going to get her involved in preparing some foods as I feel like she's more likely to try something she's made. I'm also going to make sure I have a sit down snack at the same time as them, sit next to her and just gently offer her some bits off my plate if she shows interest. Thats how I got her onto cornflakes 🤣

Thank you for the suggestions of adding to her smoothie, but unfortunately she'll only have the individual cartons of Aldi smoothies... And yes, my bank balance is very greatful her safe foods tend to center around Aldi! Gotta take those wins wherever you can get them!

She ate a jacket potato with cheese and beans this week which I was so shocked at... I had to try and not say anything but internally I was screaming with joy and texting anyone I knew who might care!

Turn your ears off to the parents of any NT children that say - don’t give in - she won’t starve - keep forcing her to eat new foods - no dinner then no pudding etc

she is thriving and yes her diet is not perfect - but who’s is ????

gradually you can experiment and try new foods in a very low key way - but if all she can manage now is a few safe foods and gallons of milk - so be it.

she is not NT and the sensory and emotional aspects of food are very very hard for her.

my dc are all grown now but reading this thread shows me that I used food chaining without knowing that was called that! 2/5 of my DC were diagnosed in adulthood, as was I.

My tips: from a favourite/safe food go in all directions (sweet and savoury, soft and hard). Eg:
chocolate digestive-digestive-digestive with cream cheese-cracker or toast with cream cheese-cheese on toast-cheese on toast with tomato-
mini pizza. Tuna sandwich (enjoyed at a party)-tuna with toast triangles-tuna with cold pasta-tuna with tomato pasta salad-tuna and tomato pasta.
in many ways it was easier with more kids: lay everything out in the middle and no one has to feel pressured to eat anything they aren’t sure of.
ARFID is much more complicated, and I have no expertise, but if it is about safe foods and discomfort only, my advice is just to avoid tension; make food fun; rave about tasty things that you want your dc to love; offer them things to try that you think they’ll like. More options will make it easier for your dc to relax in and try new things. Either way, a fed child is all that matters. If your daughter eats the same 4 things and milk until they hit their teens, it’s still ok.