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TW: Suicide

7 replies

malloryknox123 · 14/07/2026 14:51

Today has been one of the most extraordinary and emotional days of my life, and I’m wondering whether anyone else has experienced something similar.

I lost my best friend to suicide in July 2024. It has affected me more deeply than I can put into words, and today I reached the lowest point I’ve been in since she died. I genuinely felt as though suicide was the only option left for me.
In desperation, I sat down, prayed, and meditated. I asked my friend to come to me if she could.
Afterwards, I got up to go to the loo, leaving my music playing. When I came back, a song was playing that wasn’t in my playlist. It was the same song that was mentioned in a meme I had tagged her in just two weeks before she died.
The timing and the connection completely stopped me in my tracks.
I’m not asking anyone to tell me what it “really” was, and I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. I know people will have different explanations. All I can say is that, to me, it felt deeply meaningful, and it completely changed how I was feeling in that moment.
Whether it was coincidence, synchronicity, my grieving mind making a connection, or something I can’t explain, it stopped me from acting on thoughts that could have ended my life.

Has anyone else had an experience after losing someone that felt so powerful and so personal that it changed the course of your day—or even your life?

Please be kind in your replies. I’m sharing this because it mattered to me, not to start an argument about what people should or shouldn’t believe.

OP posts:
SunsetandCupcakes · 14/07/2026 15:38

I don't believe in any of that sort of thing.

Yet one day I was at the graveside, completely broken, lost, sobbing, the lowest I had been.

I looked up and a white feather was falling from a blue empty sky - it landed on the headstone right in front of me.

I also can't explain it- I'm still not really a believer, but it saved me.

I'm sorry you have lost your friend, but I'm glad something happened to save you. Be kind to yourself.

malloryknox123 · 14/07/2026 15:59

Thank you

OP posts:
Entangledlife · 14/07/2026 16:09

What a wonderful moment. I hope you carry it with you to cherish in the tough times.
We held my mum's funeral service for friends and family then had a private burial 150 miles away a few days later. I was driving back from the burial with my dad when the three songs that we had played at the service came on the radio, straight after each other, in the exact order we'd played them. Famous but unusual songs for a radio station. It gave me and my Dad great comfort, and still does me.
I hope you are ok.

upinaballoon · 14/07/2026 16:15

I rarely remember my dreams. A few weeks after one person died I had a dream of the person walking towards me. I remembered that vividly when I woke up and I haven't forgotten it. I wasn't in an emotional mess about the loss because the person was old and ill, but it was a lovely comfort to have that dream.
I would not discount things. There is a force of love which operates in this world, I believe.

minerva7 · 14/07/2026 16:26

What a lovely story. I’m so glad it brought you back from the brink ❤️
Life is worth living ❤️
my husband took his own life over 30 years ago. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him, and I talk
to him all the time. I have longed for an experience like yours but sadly never had one. But I don’t give up hope x

Specialneedsnightmare · 14/07/2026 16:30

I totally believe in synchronicity.

After my mum's funeral I got into my car and turned on the radio. The music i chose for my dad's funeral immediately started playing.

I took that as a sign he was with me somehow as I buried my mum.

malloryknox123 · 14/07/2026 16:52

These are beautiful stories.

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