Upset after reporting daughter's friend's bruise and possible abuse

[OneLimeDuck]

Posting in chat as I don't know where to put it.

I posted on Saturday, in parenting but not sure that was the right place, looking for advice on comforting my daughter worried about her friend. I did get advice and was grateful for the suggestions.

I am sitting at work not being able to concentrate properly over what is clearly a serious child safety issue that I have been on edges of.

Last Wednesday just before bedtime my recently turned 9 year old daughter said that her friend told her that her daddy had hit her hard, she showed my daughter a big bruise on her tummy.

I reported what my daughter had told me to the head at school Thursday morning.

When I picked my daughters up from school Thursday evening my 9 year old told me that the head had taken her friend from the class, she was worried that she had got her friend into trouble.

Her friend was not in school Friday and my daughter was very upset.

She was, understandably clingy and I was giving her lots of cuddles and trying my best to reassure her and that all that was happening was the teachers were looking after her friend and that she wasn't in trouble.

Following a suggestion off here I said that doctors were just checking that her friend wasn't too hurt.

She was still upset Sunday evening so on Monday I had a word with the head who said he and her class teacher, whom my daughter absolutely adores, would talk with her.

He obviously couldn't say anything specific to me but indicated that the matter was serious but that my daughter's friend would be returning to school.

My daughter was happier after school not least because her friend was back, so the worry of what was happening to her was gone.

My daughter said that her friend told her that she was staying with her auntie.

It looks to me like that poor child has been the victim of physical abuse and social services have moved her to a relative.

I now feel I should have acted earlier when my daughter told me and not waited to tell school the next day.

I am just so upset. What the absolute fuck is up with some men.

You're overthinking it. You did the right thing and got the right processes in motion. Poor girl, hopefully she feels safe now.

Thank you for stepping up Op.

I hope she will be ok. Your daughter sounds lovely.

You have absolutely done the right thing. Your daughter also sounds like a very switched on and compassionate child.

Your daughter has been a really good friend to her pal. And you took the appropriate action OP. You both should be proud of yourselves.

That poor wee girl. As you say what is wrong with some men?

Thank you for your kind words.

Yes my daughter has been a star.

I now feel I should have acted earlier when my daughter told me and not waited to tell school the next day.

She told you Wednesday evening just before bedtime according to your other thread.

You acted as quickly as you could 🤷‍♂️

I guess I just wonder if I could have contacted the police. Seeing how it looks very much like this is a physical abuse case then my mind keeps doing what ifs.

Basically the whole thing has really upset me.

I spent part of last night just watching my daughters as they interacted and played together, so happy and loved. I contrast this with what that poor child must have been enduring.

I guess I just wonder if I could have contacted the police. Seeing how it looks very much like this is a physical abuse case then my mind keeps doing what ifs.

Ok well yes you could have, if you had an address.

If you didn't, then obviously not.

It is obviously upsetting, but for your part, you should be pleased. You took action and something was done very quickly. Surprisingly quickly actually.

Yes the speed makes me wonder if there were previous safeguarding concerns.

Logic tells me I did what I could but emotionally it has shot my logic to pieces.

You have potentially saved that lovely little girl from horrific abuse. Well done!

Understandable to be upset, but you absolutely did the right thing. Lots of people wouldn’t have bothered mentioning it at all

I think that you did the right thing going through the school. With their help it would have probably be quicker than trying to go to the Police and the Social Services. I may be wrong but I think schools have more clout in things like this. I am glad you set things in motion so the poor little girl will be safer and happier. I always wonder what is the matter with these awful people.

So thankful there are people like you who step up in these situations, and the poor little girl, I hope she’s now happy and safe

Well done to you and your daughter. You’ve both helped that little girl get the help she desperately needed.
Remind your daughter that she’s a very good friend, firstly for being trustworthy enough that the little girl felt she could tell her and then for passing that information on to an adult (you).

@OneLimeDuck
You absolutely did the right thing
It got the ending needed
And a happy outcome for 2 good friends
Well Done You

I just wanted to echo what others have said to you-well done for your actions as that cant of been easy at all, and also well done to your daughter, you sound s as if you have raised a really caring, mature and sensible daughter. Hope she is okay too, it must have been hard for her to hear and raise it x

Thank goodness for people like you op, safeguarding is everyone's responsibility someone needs to speak up for these poor children. Well done to your daughter too.

Really glad you reported it @OneLimeDuck and you have nothing to feel guilty for. Your update might be a bit identifying though and I think you should request to have it removed.

I think you need to step back from tnis now.
You shouldn't be posting who tbe victims of dv are staying with on a public forum FFS. 😡
Also the case is subjudice, you legally shouldn't be speculating about it online at all. You are potentially in contempt of court and prejudicing legal proceedings.
You need to get some of your posts deleted.

@OneLimeDuck

Too much information.