Since I've been with DP, I've cried more than the previous 5 years

[Shewas]

DP/BF? Mature relationship, where we see each other most days and generally consider each other in plans but don't live together. Together 18 months.

DH died 6 years ago, and I coped really well. Secured a promotion to keep a roof over our heads, supported now adult DC who lost their dad in their teens, threw myself into hobbies to create a new social circle etc etc. I didn't have time to cry and there was no one to cry with if I did.

Then I met DP and it's like the flood gates have opened. It's not that I'm crying over DH or that DP is upsetting me, but every little thing sets me off. Sometimes properly over dramatic sobbing.

Poor DP has been great with it all, but fgs get a grip!!

It occurred to me this morning that as with neglected children, there's no point crying if no one will come, but surely this isn't all attention seeking?

It os obviously grief coming out. You might just need a few weeks to take some time out.

Have you considered some counselling? It sounds like you bottled up a lot because you just needed to get on with things for your DC, but at some point it needs to come out.

It's definitely grief, its changed again, that's all. Sometimes when we do things that we subconsciously think removes us one more step from our loved ones, it triggers a grief response - even when those things are good for us or necessary.

I am no psychologist but I wonder if somehow after staying strong for your children somewhere deep and subconscious you now feel able to cry?
I’m so glad you’ve found a new DP after what must have been the hardest of times xxx

As others have said it's suppressed grief. You didn't grieve at the time because you needed to get on and do things. Now that you have a DP and can relax and have someone there to share decisions etc, all that buried grief has come to the surface.

Because you now feel safe enough and supported enough to cry?

As others have said, you suppressed your grief so you could look after your children and keep the whole household going! Now you're in a relationship where you feel supported, it's all coming out. Don't fight it, just let yourself cry and be kind to yourself. Maybe access some grief counselling? It can really help to speak freely in a non-judgemental environment.

Could you be in menopause? When I was diagnosed, the list of symptoms I was given were very similar to grief, and as I’d been grieving for some time, I’d just assumed it was that.

HRT really helped.

How old are you? It could be hormonal

I would agree with others that this may be the grief of losing your husband finally finding its way to the surface. While I imagine it must be really hard, I also think there’s something incredibly touching and life-affirming about meeting someone who makes you feel safe enough to let those tears come.

Just sounds like grief. Very normal. Try some counselling perhaps? I am sorry for your loss. Best wishes.