Worried my daughter will prefer her dad after his new baby

[Silentwhisper93]

My ex is having a baby with someone else and I’m worried my daughter will want to be with him more.

A little context my ex was incredibly abusive to me. He has made little to no effort with our daughter and doesn’t understand how to be a parent. I pay for everything, brought her up practically by myself, sort childcare, take her on days out or holidays, attend everything at school or outside of school. I even had to go back to work when she was a few weeks old as he took all my maternity money id saved up and spent it. He pays me £7 a week for her as he works cash in hand so cms can’t see it and finds it hilarious.

He messaged me yesterday to tell me his girlfriend is pregnant and they’ll be telling our daughter next week. He added the only reason he’s telling me is because he cancelled his time seeing her. She sees him every other weekend no overnight and hates it because he either cancels and he doesn’t have any toys for her to play with and never takes her out. I raise this with him often but just get abuse. He makes no contact when he’s not with her which I’ve always said he can and is in our court order and I can account on one hand how many times he’s seen her often not turning up at the meeting place and not telling me. So I hope you have an idea of what he’s like. I’ve never met his girlfriend as I’ve been told she doesn’t want to meet you but I’d like to know who my daughter is around when she goes and she’s not attempted to reach out to me or or my daughter to build a relationship

Im really worried she’s going to want to be with her dad more and want to spend less time with me because I can’t give her a sibling right now. I do have a wonderful supportive daughter who treats my daughter as his own and we have been trying but it hasn’t happened yet. I haven’t slept with worry I’m going to lose her. She’s my absolute world and the reason I clung on to life when he dad tried his hardest to take everything away from me including my sanity.

has anyone been through this and can give me some word of reassurance. Every move of his is calculated so all I can think is he’s going to try his hardest to take her away from me

I know the post is a bit scatty but I’m struggling to put everything into words!

You've used your daughter's name.

Report him to Inland Revenue. They'll drag his repulsive ass over the coals.

I don't think your daughter will start to prefer her Dad. She will probably like it there even less with a baby and extra stress in the house.

It sounds like he should be seeing her more but it’s likely she will feel pushed out by the baby so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

OP i've reported your post as it contains your DD's name.

You’ve included your daughters name in the post - you can hit “report” and ask Mumsnet HQ to edit it.

why would the new baby make your DD want to see her dad more? New babies are hard work and normally take attention away from the older child. It seems much more likely that things will continue as they are or even less contact from the ex.

why are you worried you can’t give your DD a sibling? She doesn’t need a sibling, she has you giving her a safe and happy life.

She will probably like going to his even less as shell be even more neglected . However it’s a nice thing to have a sibling . He doesn’t sound like much of a threat to you don’t worry!

I think it’s 95% likely that he’ll see your daughter even less.

I imagine your £7 will reduce too.

And I imagine his current relationship will also breakdown when his partner realises first hand what a shit dad/partner he is.

I don’t think you have anything to worry about regarding your concerns but I see it being a very emotional and rocky path for your daughter when the baby arrives so be prepared for that, I have a feeling shes going to need the stability you give her very much.