Scared incase my 18 month old never speaks

[sadmumm13]

I've probably read every single similar thread here, on all types of forums but just wanted to make my own. This will probably be long so thank you to anyone who reads and or responds to me.

My son is 18 months old at the end of the month and he has no words. None at all. He started babbling very late (11/12 months) and that's all hes done since, bababaa, dadada, yayayay, gagaga and to be fair he babbles with extreme enthusiasm sometimes but not with any meaning as such. We was referred to SALT and when we was seen a few days ago they agreed he needs one to one sessions and has a speech delay. Obviously I knew he had a delay because he hasnt said a single word yet but just hearing it was gut wrenching. They also said hes displaying repetivie behaviours in his play eg rolling cars back and forth repeatedly, picking up a toy and moving it to one place to another over and over and that they are going to keep an eye on it.
He doesn't wave, but he claps and points sometimes (usually when im drinking pepsi and he wants it) but doesn't really point to other things, or it can be random pointing.
He crawled at 8 months and walked last month at 16.5 months!
He has brilliant eye contact and is very loving towards his family and is always wanting hugs and giving kisses.
He's never been a good sleeper and has always woke multiple times a night but since he's started walking hes sleeping the first half the night through then he starts his wakes in the early hours now.
He shakes his arms when hes excited eg if his favourite show comes on, sees a dog outside, his dad comes home from work, but doesn't other than that.
Loves other kids and babbles a lot more around them, if we are shopping and we see another child in a pram hes straight away going DADADA to them.
Has good understanding I think, if I say upstairs he runs to babygate, or show mummy/daddy and passes it to us, understands things like biscuit, bottle, food, bath, things like that, if I say wheres 'cats name' he looks around for them, or 'who's outside' he looks out the living room window.
Can sometimes be quiet for days at a time but he was always quiet even as a baby, but is especially vocal usually when its bedtime.
Is very happy, sociable and loving in general and is really just a joy to be around.
The only behaviours ive picked up on that may be a bit strange is his repitive play (moving things from one place to the next) placing items on top of his cars to try and make them move/fall, putting things in cupboards/draws and taking them back out again and he loves balls! He's always got a ball in his hand!

We talk to him constantly and name everything so if hes playing with a car, CAR, BEEP BEEP, CAR like SALT told us to do, I read to him when he wants to sit fot 5 minutes lol

I guess im just worried I'll never hear him talk, say mummy or anything like that. He is my whole heart and im so sad at this could be a possibility. I think SALT scared me by saying they want to keep an eye on his behaviours (which is so normal to me because this is just how he is)

He is my first after 4 losses and I just want him to have the world and im worried that ive failed him. It's me who's with him everyday as I didnt go back to work.

Does anyone have children who were speech delayed at this age and gone on to speak? Thank you from a worried mummy x

Ahh I can hear your worry in your post.
Sometimes I think it can be hard when your child isn’t doing what they are ‘supposed’ to be doing. Every child is unique and you don’t know what you may face with them. No-one can say if he will or won’t speak, only time will tell, and it will be a journey for you like every other part of his development. not all children communicate with their voice, you are his advocate and can support him like you already are doing x
You could try using core boards to support with his communication and language. You can also look at some speech therapy people on instagram they do like little examples of what they do.
His repetitive play could be asd traits, which is maybe why they say ‘keep an eye’ but it could just be how he enjoys playing x maybe you would find it interesting to read on ‘schemas’ xx
Try not to overthink too much, regardless of anything you love your little boy and you’ve said he’s a joy to be around xx you sound like your doing a great job x

Your little boy sounds like a wonderful, kind and caring lad!
I dont have first hand experience, but I know of atleast 4 friends who's kids didnt speak until later and only babbled until at
least 2 years (2 of these kids are bi lingual and I know that can delay speech)
Have you taught him any sign language? It's a great way to build bonds and enable them to communicate.
Also 17 months is still very young, my daughter was speaking in 3 or 4 words sentences at about 24 months, but at 18 months maybe had 4/5 consistent words, 2 of which were mumma and dadda.

Sending lots of support your way!

Both of my children have had glue ear resulting in speech delays, I remember the guilt & the worry, it’s horrid but as cliche as it sounds once you see progress in child you do feel better.

His understanding sounds great, and he’s obviously well attached to you & his dad through what you’ve described.

I find SALT commenting on his repetitive behaviour a bit presumptuous considering it was the initial meeting, and it’s not uncommon for toddlers to repeat behaviour (especially play), that’s how they learn and explore.

He’s getting the right intervention and it’s sounds like you’re doing all the right things to support his longer at home.

Good luck

My daughter didn't have any words til 19 months, when she used 'k' for a whole array of different words e.g. coat, cat, car. She soon caught up and now has probably above average language skills. I am a SALT and this doesn't happen for every child who is on the slow side to start talking, but you already have SALT input so it can't really get much better in terms of giving him the best chance. As others have said, the repetitive play could be something or nothing, but if he does turn out to be neurodivergent, he will still be your little person who is who he is. Please try not to get bogged down in worrying about what might happen and focus on the advice from SALT and just giving him as many opportunities for communicating as possible.

Einstein didn't talk until he was 4, op, try not to worry too much

My daughter didn’t talk at all at 18 months but was chatting in sentences by 2. She had some very unusual repetitive play and lots of arm waving. I too was very worried.
Now she’s older you’d never know. Try not to think too far ahead x

Ahh I can hear the worry in your post too. I was you just over a year ago. Everything in your post was the same for my boy apart from my child was terrified of other children just to add that in to the mix.
My son found his words and eventually said “mummy” at 2 years 3 months. He is now just turned 3 and is speaking in short sentences.
Every day he comes out with new words or phrases.
He still does the repetitive cars back and forth thing, but I think he just likes those kind of toys. He also loves to play with balls and still flaps his hands a lot when something excites him. The cat drinking before caused a hand flap or 2 🤣
He is also not scared or worried around other children now and is due to start pre-school next term.
I asked for intervention from health visitor and she agreed to refer for speech therapy but nothing ever came of it. She came back for a follow up visit 3 months after the first one and agreed he had made vast improvements.
Try not to worry, I’m sure it will all work out.

Yes, my boy (I have twins, a boy and a girl) was late to talk. Now (at 7) you can’t shut him up. I cannot remember what age he was exactly. His first word was “go” - we were saying “ready, steady” and he said “go” suddenly. I think it was before the age of 2. He loved playing with water and I was worried about it too as it is an autistic trait. Anyway, what happened was - I was going with the twins to a group called Baby College, they sing a lot of songs, and he started at some point to repeat the words of songs. (Like “no more monkeys jumping on the bed”). I was just going through some old videos, he started to do it maybe at 22 months, and his singing was still somewhat unclear at maybe 26 or 28 months, but was improving gradually. It’s getting better and better now, he needs to practice the “th” sound, but he does Lamda public speaking and verse and prose and gets merit grades in exams.

He is only little.
He is your boy. Whatever his challenges or not.
Take it step by step.
Try makaton signs with him.
You have gotten slt advice.
He just needs your love and support to be who he will be.

Mine was years behind speechwise, turned out to be dyslexia. He never stops talking now! So many people went on about autism based on non verbal alone but we never thought he had it. He didnt.

I met a close friend initially at an antenatal group. We were due at the same time. My daughter started to say basic words very early. Her son was silent until almost 3 - at which point he spoke in perfect sentences! It was so odd - as if he had been keeping quiet all that time.

This is a useful post from @ThePurpleMoose . You can't know the future but you can be hopeful. I'll add a positive experiences too. DD1 was two when she spoke and then made really quick progress. Her reception class teacher described her as "very articulate" which I took to mean never stops talking 😂No concerns through school and is now at university. DD2 was later to speak than DD1 and then her speech was very unclear, only close family could understand her until she was nearly four but speech therapy really helped her. She's just done her A levels and is predicted high grades. She's friendly and chatty and outgoing. My Godson didn't speak until he was almost three. He pointed to a huge scribble on the wall and announced "I done dat". It was hard for his mum to be cross... He was fine with speech and language too as he grew up.

One DC: Speech delayed but had a few words by 24 months. Also did SaLT. Taught themselves sign from Mr Tumble. Hated being sung/spoken to and reading. Much smaller vocab but now into politics so catching up. Was selectively mute when in KS1 with the shouty teacher. Had extensive swearing vocabulary that was used loudly, at me usually late at night, as a mid teen.

Other DC: Rarely spoke was worried they would not meet the 24 month criteria but suddenly started communicating at 23 months and smashed the criteria. Liked being sung and spoken to and reads so has large vocabulary.

Autistic. Very different presentations. (Opposite)

There's time yet. And if not, you'll manage and find a way through with support.

My son was similar. He did have about 4 words at 18 months but they were not functional. He would say them randomly and they didn’t mean anything. For example he called everything he liked Dada and had no idea the word was supposed to be for his dad only. He’s 3 now and can say loads of words and phrases mostly in context but still can’t really make conversation. He very rarely answers questions and when he does it’s only by saying yes/no. But he’s learning more words all the time and is making progress although it is slower than other children his age. We do strongly suspect he is autistic but still waiting for a diagnosis. I’m not saying that your son is at all, I couldn’t possibly know that from the information in your post. My son has other signs unrelated to speech. But I will say that it’s not the end of the world if it does take him longer than other children to talk. I can’t have a conversation with my son and he doesn’t say mummy yet but he is such a happy little boy and is always giving me cuddles. He loves music and climbing and building blocks. Earlier today he kept smiling at his baby sister and getting so excited when she was smiling back and laughing at him. Not talking much is only a very small part of him. He is a lovely boy.

flappy bird wings? Does he spin wheels? Sounds just like my nephew. He babbled until 4. We were all worried he was autistic. He would be so quiet.
hes in high school now. A quiet but funny clever normal kid I guess.

My daughter was 26 months before her first word. She barely babbled either so we were extremely concerned. But she progressed from zero to full sentences really quickly. Your wee one is still so very young. I know it's easy to say, don't worry. Parenthood feels like a constant string of worries! Your wee boy sounds absolutely adorable

He’s social, he’s understanding language, he’s making noise, it’s all good signs
yes his behaviour might be repetitive but so is a lot of kids play, obviously I’m not there to see, but this alone wouldn’t be a red flag for me.

my nephew had no words until he was 2.5. He also wasn’t at all sociable like your ds. He’s been diagnosed as autistic since, and he’s done a tone of speech therapy and now he’s doing well in main stream school and doesn’t stop talking, he’s a really happy little boy at 6. Even if your ds does have a delay, there are so many steps you can take, and so many levels between where you are now and never hearing him talk. I don’t blame you for worrying, you love him and you want the best for him, but he sounds really happy and he’s lucky he has a mum who is taking every step she can to help him.

I think Einstein was 4 or 5 before he spoke and then out came whole sentences.

My DS didn't really have any words at age 2, he's now 16yo and is doing really well at school.

In my old Penelope Leach book, 18 months is not a great worry because he is babbling. My neighbours dc had few words at 2 whilst my dd was using sentences. He caught up though. He’s sociable and communicating in his way and happy. I feel the next six months will produce changes in his speech.

neither of my DD’s even babbled at 18 months. Dd1 is autistic but fully verbal by 4, dd2 isn’t autistic but didn’t acquire speech until 2.5

Whatever happens, it's not your fault. If a child lags behind linguistically, it's because of severe neglect (which obviously isn't the case here) or something biological that you have no control over.

My daughter has Down’s syndrome and at 2.5 only had about 16 words (but around 100 Makaton signs). She built her vocab slowly, was only speaking mostly in single words when she started school, but gradually her words and sentence length grew. Now she is nearly 11 and a proper chatterbox!