Advertising for friendship on social media?

[User766]

I've always been a bit of a square peg. Spent my entire childhood being excluded and called weird by a vast, vast array of my peers leading to a severe lack of confidence and being absolutely certain that nobody could possibly ever like me. It gets in your head. I spent a long time avoiding people and I still really struggle with that 'nobody wants you here'/'just shut up talking' gut reaction in a group... I've tried and tried conventional way of making friends and got nowhere with it.

Kind of at the point where I feel like I've got nothing to lose and I'm thinking about putting a sort of personal ad on some local Facebook groups. Slight hesitation over people at work or family potentially seeing it and taking the piss.

Totally ridiculous idea? Does anybody know anywhere better than Facebook to post this sort of thing? I have a BFF account but there aren't many people local to me on there.

I'm also torn between going for a vague 'any women want to meet up play tennis? I don't know anybody who likes to play' type thing and full on 'this is who I am, yes, I have no friends, yes, I'm an acquired taste but I'm perfectly happy to hear from other friendless acquired tastes so anybody fancy a bike ride/trip to the beach/wander around [museum]/game of pool/etc.?'

Peanut or Bumble would be better.

I wouldn’t do Facebook as it’s too exposing.

What about the local pages on here?

Whereabouts are you and how old etc?

Meet-up groups would be beneficial to you, I think.

Yes, Meetup would be good for specific interests.

I would! What have you got to lose? If I saw a post like that, I'd send a message. Lots of lonely folk about.

You might post a Facebook message suggesting a meetup for women who would like to get to know some other local women. It could take place in a local cafe or park, just for an hour. You could ask people to message you if they are interested, and fix a mutually convenient time. It wouldn't be that exposing or compromising.

Have you got Instagram, OP? Something came up on my feed called ‘empty chairs.org’. Basically, you go onto their website and see if there is an empty chairs meet up near you. The organiser (could be one person or a group) of the meet up would have booked a table for a certain number and sits there and waits for people to join and have a chat. You can tell you have the right table as the organiser will always wear an orange top. You sit at an ‘empty chair’ and stay for as long (or as little) as you like. I think it’s a brilliant idea!

Someone posted on my local FB group that they were looking to meet other women as friends and it really took off. It's now a monthly meet with about 60 women in a pub function room with break off groups for dog walking, national trust visits and other interests. It's been really successful!

I see it loads on fb groups in my area and there’s always lovely comments on it so I don’t think it’s weird at all

I’ve seen messages like this on the Neighbourhood app. People who like walking/coffee/knitting or whatever arranging meet ups. Worth a look or making a post maybe?

Try the FB London Lonely Girls group.

I think you sound very vulnerable and that it’s probably not a good idea to draw attention to it online. I would try local Meet-up groups first, or just find something you enjoy doing and see what happens.

Group events are what I'm trying to avoid really. I've done the lot (even went on a group holiday for single travellers once...) over the years and got nowhere, always on the outside of the group however long I persist in showing up and joining in and talking to people. I thought BFF (/the friendship version of Bumble) might be a good shout for meeting people one-to-one but there just aren't many local people on it

You can do a friendship thing on facebook dating now