Was it reasonable to expect me to arrange the meeting?

[Arseinhand]

I’ve added the time in so this is me second guessing myself.

A member within the same team I work in, asked me to pop 15 mins into our diaries to discuss something (the something being a task I do every couple of months to help him out: it was set out as a development task but it really isn’t).

As I said, I added the time but quite begrudgingly. My calendar is up to date (never isn’t) so why couldn’t he have sent me a meeting request rather than an email asking me to set something up?

This member of staff is more senior in role, but I have no reporting line to him (I did as a temporary basis whilst there was some rejigging across teams, but it was only ever temporary and he didn’t want the permanent gig). It’s also worth pointing out that we don’t do the same work, so it’s not like I do a more basic version of work he does: I do very different work.

Should I have pushed back?

I realise this is overthinking, but I’ve been so much of a people pleaser in my career, and I am trying to be less so.

I’m also peri menopausal and trying to get straight with treatments and wonder if that’s knocking my balanced view somewhat! Hence the user name!

Storm in a teacup.

he should have popped the time in, as it’s helping him, but equally it’s such a tiny thing you’re blowing out of proportion

Insightful, thanks. You may have missed the part where I said I booked the time in. There has been no storm!

I haven’t blown anything as I’ve added it in. I’m asking whether he was reasonable. So from your answer, I’m taking it that he wasn’t.

I’d find it annoying if he’d put the time in as I’d rather choose when I meet him. My diary isn’t fully available to others though.

Are you just the little woman who can do the admin then?

I wouldn’t like it either.

I agree with the first two replies.

This isn't worth a 2nd thought. You are massively overthinking it.

You'll find some people who think like you, and lots of others who think it is much more courteous to ask / offer you the choice.
He obviously falls into the latter and you into the first, but neither is right or wrong.

My thinking is it is a win for you as you get to choose the time / day rather than having it imposed on you.

but you seem determined to argue with people offering their opinion so perhaps you don't want to know.

There's clearly a storm in your head or you wouldn't have bothered to post on mumsnet.

Yeah, I can see that point of view. There are some in the organisation who have blocked out diaries, but neither me nor him are in that group. We do in fact have colour coded times within our calendars where it’s a note to all that we are available for any meeting (green times and anyone is able to book in without fear of rejection!). He and I (anyone in our team) have mostly the same green times.

Yes, I think that’s his view. Whereas reality is I’ve worked hard at my career, slowed to have kids and changed routes within the industry a couple of years ago.

I’d much rather choose my own time for a meeting, I don’t like people sending me an invite before checking with me, even if my calendar is free, as I might be busy on something.

I’m not determined to argue at all. I have my view, they have their’s.

I don’t get to choose the date (he asked for a specific date) but I do get to choose the time, so maybe I should be grateful for that?

Same. I'd much rather pick a time that suits me rather than having a meeting set by someone else. My manager often tells me to pop something in her diary and I do the same to my team and others - I'm the first to push back on men trying to flex their muscles in the workplace, but on this occasion I think it's an ok approach from him.

not quite sure why you didn't want to book the meeting - is it because it makes you feel like his secretary??

If i CBA to arrange a meeting i say "my calendar is up to date, got to dash, send the meeting invitation and I'll see you at the meeting". Every time.

What gave it away? My OP where I said “I realise this is overthinking…”?

I would also be annoyed. I would leave it for now, but next time reply with “my diary is up-to-date so feel free to pop it in any green slot”

I would have replied along the lines of my diary is up to date go ahead and put something in

I usually ask my staff to put time into my diary so they’re in control. Feels kind of rude to assume when they’d like to meet as I’m senior to them. My boss does the same with me. I think it’s just a different style and not necessarily anything more problematic

I’d have just replied my calendar was open and he was welcome to put it in himself.

Which is what I wanted to say. But instead I sent the invite. (And yes, he does make me feel that way. But perhaps that is my insecurities rather than reality.)

Honestly, pick your battles. This one isn’t worth it.

I’m a chronic overthinker but it’s completely standard at my work that the more junior person does the meeting admin, even if it’s with someone from another team. E.g I’m in marketing as a level 4, I need to meet with someone in finance who is a level 5, they say ‘could you put 15 mins in our diaries’.

If it’s another L4 it’s a nice gesture to offer but if you’re slammed you can say ‘would you mind putting the time in’ and only a difficult person would resent it.

I’m with PPs though, I prefer being the person who can pick the time!

Edit to add: I think this an overhang from the pre virtual era where the person picking the time also had to sort a room booking etc.

Please don't blame hormones, it really doesn't help women in the workplace to be taken seriously.

"Ok Nigel, have a look at my calendar and send me a link".

This would've been a perfectly normal reply to his request.

The fact that you're posting about it in the first place

Position it like you are doing him a favour.

“My diary is up to date so feel free to schedule a meeting at a time that is most convenient for you”.

Be ready next time.