Was it reasonable to expect me to arrange the meeting?

[Arseinhand]

I’ve added the time in so this is me second guessing myself.

A member within the same team I work in, asked me to pop 15 mins into our diaries to discuss something (the something being a task I do every couple of months to help him out: it was set out as a development task but it really isn’t).

As I said, I added the time but quite begrudgingly. My calendar is up to date (never isn’t) so why couldn’t he have sent me a meeting request rather than an email asking me to set something up?

This member of staff is more senior in role, but I have no reporting line to him (I did as a temporary basis whilst there was some rejigging across teams, but it was only ever temporary and he didn’t want the permanent gig). It’s also worth pointing out that we don’t do the same work, so it’s not like I do a more basic version of work he does: I do very different work.

Should I have pushed back?

I realise this is overthinking, but I’ve been so much of a people pleaser in my career, and I am trying to be less so.

I’m also peri menopausal and trying to get straight with treatments and wonder if that’s knocking my balanced view somewhat! Hence the user name!

You are spot on!

I wonder what this meeting is about….

could it be that he’s not happy with how this task is being completed?

Next time, I think I will.

Why not just say "Calm down, dear"?

I wouldn’t dare

presuming most on this thread are women such as myself… most have said basically just that. Calm down

Nope, but nice try.

I think you missed my point. Yes, a lot of people on this thread have told the OP just to put up and shut up, as women have been for many years.

must be exhausting…

That’s why it’s annoyed you then. Deeper than just a meeting, which is not worth getting worked up about.

Yes, I think you are right. Thank you.

Christ, your life must be absolute hell if you get wound up up about issues as minor as this. How long did it actually take you to do? 5-10 seconds? and all this time wasted banging on about it. Seriously, take a step back and acknowledge this isn't normal or good for you. If hes a sexist arsehole all the time and always asking you to do stuff then just tell him you're free anytime so pop it in your diary next time he asks. Bizarre you're giving this so much headspace.

If someone is senior and you can access their calendar I can't see a problem tbh. You just set it at a time to suit you (more or less).

I really wouldn't give this sort of thing any more headspace.

Take a look at the OP again, in particular where I said I realise I am overthinking it. It was more of a request for the future for which I’ve had some great suggestions. You aren’t telling me anything more about myself that I don’t already know. But thanks for reiterating.

Oh and yes, it took me about 20 seconds to sort it. The same 20 seconds it would have taken him. But it seems I should gloss over that.

The headspace given over is because I’ve asked on a public forum so I should expect (and wanted) a range of responses. Not because I’ve gone back and forth in conversation with colleague or hovering over the “new meeting invite” button!

What an absolute non issue. Why are you giving this headspace?
I do do this. I am usually juggling multiple calendars and im busy (not saying you arent) but why not ask. I also book things for people more senior than myself without question and have even scheduled my own 1 to 1s when im not getting them.

Your life will be so much easier if you learn to let the little stuff go.
I say this as a previous overthinker with kindness

Do you live alone? I ask because this is exactly the sort of thing you might off handedly mention to a partner at the end of the day and then give it zero further thought

You are right though you way overthink things - how do you find any time in the day to do the fun stuff - or even the stuff that needs to be done. My ds - yes a male of the species over thinks stuff too - he's only 22, so I'm hoping he can work on dropping that attribute, he is trying because it's a pointless waste of time. Good luck to you - I hope you find your inner peace.

Actually if someone wants me to
do them a favour I’d much prefer for them to allow me to schedule it in when it suits me rather than a request being sent which you feel obliged to rsvp yes to because it’s in a clear calender spot.

You’re being completely ridiculous. It’s fine to ask the more junior person to arrange the meeting, and considerate to allow you to choose the time.

You are doing him a favour.

Next time say “if you still need my help you can pop time in my diary”.