Repeating Yr 1 - experiences of explaining to child?

[WildPine]

My DS is at a lovely supportive school in London. He is August born and though working at an expected level he has struggled with reading - phonics in terms of his enjoyment and confidence since the move up from reception, and bubbled just under the average. He took a massive confidence knock right at the start of Year 1 seeing how much more advanced other children were, particularly the girls, that he decided reading and writing just wasn’t for him and gave up. He would much rather be playing.

he has started attempting to refuse school, hiding in his wardrobe and getting very upset each morning. The drop offs have been awful and hard with his crying and not wanting to go in. Staff have been great but I’m so worried about this. We are always encouraging a love of learning and books etc so it’s heartbreaking to see. Since January most mornings have been full of upset.

His school operates a Danish model in year 1 so there is still a great deal of play-based learning, but come Year 2 it goes back to traditional classroom learning.

The Head has suggested DS might benefit from repeating Yr 1, to give him the chance to continue in the play-based environment for another year and crucially to feel like he is one of the more advanced in the class- gain more confidence in his abilities - as he does tend to compare and compete with others despite us trying to teach him otherwise.

Overall we think the decision could really benefit him. The school is very supportive and say they do this quite a few times each year for all sorts of reasons to support the child, not only in cases of SEN. (We don’t suspect SEN at this stage). They would also help with secondary applications when the time came to alleviate any knock on issues and seem very relaxed about it.

So in terms of his learning and confidence we think it could work well. I think he would really be boosted by feeling as if he was as good as most of the class at phonics and even “knew more” than some kids - just the way his mind works. What we now need to think about is how to explain it to our DS. He can be very sensitive and proud and we don’t want him to get a whiff of “not being good enough / clever enough” vibes from this.

Has anyone else’s DC repeated Year 1, and if so what was your experience and how did you explain it to the child?

I work in a state primary school and unless there is very severe SEN or severe attachment issues it is virtually impossible to repeat a year.

This is just patently not true! It’s not “virtually impossible”. Plenty have done it successfully.

such a backlash on here I’m surprised people are so defensive about this.

You've had multiple people who work in the sector tell you it's virtually impossible and in all honesty your school seems to be the anomaly in this department. Most schools will have never held someone back a year and yet yours does it multiple times every year.

It really doesn't sound in your child's best interest and I don't understand why you'd be pushing for him to spend another year in a class he didn't enjoy, away from his peers especially when he's at the expected level.

I find the opposite to be honest: when I posted about my summer born DD I was surprised at how many ‘defer her, it’s a no brainer’ responses I got. This thread has been more measured, I’d say.

@WildPine I see what your actual question was and that a lot of PPs have not actually answered it (tho some have). What I would* do in terms of explaining it to DS is a) speak to the school about what they advise (you don't have to follow their advice but it might be helpful) and b) speak to DS about how he would feel about the idea. The PP who dreaded year 4 and was relieved to skip it is of note here. He may have very strong feelings that he wants to do another year with Mrs XX. But you need to make it clear that there will be different DC in the class, not his whole class again (as he might think that).

But while I know there is more opportunity around holding younger DC back a year if it's thought they would struggle, I don't think it's actually outdated advice to say "think carefully". I think there are some thoughtful and helpful posts on this thread that you might do well to note (even if you then do otherwise, obvs).

Firstly, AFAIK most DC who are in the "wrong" year are there from FS2 – so they know no different. They are not repeating anything. The DC I know who have done this have had quite serious delays or concerns about SEN. Your DS is meeting expectations so to hold him back is an unusual choice (and btw not one that is common. Your DCs' school is an outlier on this IME).

Secondly, and a number of PPs have made this point, I would want to be very clear about what happens at the end of year 6. Does he then go into year 7? If so then that's good news, but if not then I would think again. Make sure you have LA agreement on this, not just the primary school saying "it will be fine."

Thirdly, yes, @Blodget has a good point – you can really only treat/support the child he is right now. If you think it would be helpful for him to do this year again (though as others say, do think about how he will feel if even the younger girls from the year below are better at reading than him – which they may be if he's not made much progress this year) then that's the thing he needs.

The sports team issue is not a big one overall and I see that some bodies are flexible there anyway (though England Athletics certainly insists athletes compete in their "correct" year, as per advice this April).

But do bear in mind the point about the extra year of education that is sometimes accessed in KS4 or KS5. I know at least two YP who basically repeated year 11 after doing badly in GCSEs, and half a dozen who restarted sixth form after a year 12 where they did badly or chose the wrong subjects. That won't be possible for him. Just worth bearing in mind. All the best to him and you.

I would check exactly how they are envisioning it will go.

My friends little boy is an august born and does have SEN - severe autism and is non verbal. He stays in the reception class but ‘officially’ is in Y2.

The problem with this is when they are in Year 6 and have to go up to senior school it means effectively missing a year. My friends little boy will almost certainly go to a special school but that isn’t the case for you so do check.

People are not defensive about this btw @WildPine

Well I am not anyway. It makes no difference to me. As it happens, I don't personally think in general repeating a year is a good idea, for lots of reasons; that's not to say it is never a good plan. But I would probe it carefully to make sure it will work going forward.

My eldest repeated reception in a private school. We asked them what to say to our child so that we were on the same page (it was along the lines of helping). They’re not summer born btw (born in the first half of the school year). When it came to secondary school, we applied to a state school who said they’d consider taking a child out of year group - we provided the evidence they requested and they accepted it. Our child ended up staying in their existing school anyway.

My DS’s Reception class is a very young class. Over half of them are still yet to turn 5. There is one child who is already 6. To say they stick out like a sore thumb would be a massive understatement.

Be careful of any unnecessary deferring or repeat years as the year group you move into may not be an average one leading your DC to become potentially quite isolated.

Coming back to this, it is an excellent point that he didn't enjoy last year so going back in with the same teacher is arguably quite a strange choice. Any child will flourish more with some individuals than others. Are you really confident that he is a good fit with this teacher? Especially with what you've said about how competitive he is with achievement levels. I would say that is not typical for Y1 - I was a parent helper there and they were such a nice bunch, always cheering each other on and showing real respect for their peers with additional needs etc. Or maybe it's the school not the teacher. The idea that the correct response to him feeling he's failing is to make sure he is higher in the pecking order speaks to quite a competitive ethos in his environment, to me. Y1 is awfully young for this.

My daughter was stuck on the same early reading stage for over 2 terms in Y1. I fretted, her teacher was chill and said don't worry, she is just very little. It clicks for some quicker than others but they all get there in the end. By 7.5 she had a reading age of 12, and eventually she got an A star in English A level. This little girl who I vividly remember struggling in Y1 with blending: "C...A...T... act?" She was fine. In hindsight I am glad no one saw her slower progress and thought "oh we must keep her down so she doesn't have to suffer being so far down the pecking order". They just said things like "well done" and "ooh this book looks interesting."

Sorry I have meandered away from the point. You only have certain levers to pull here, but if it's so normal for them to have Y1s who are so incredibly sensitive to their performance level I would be a bit curious about whether this is an environment they are thriving in.

I have a friend with an August born son. For various reasons, he dropped down a year. (Started Reception at just turned 5). He has done so well that he has now been moved into his correct year group. This was at primary level. He then moves to secondary school with his 'correct' year group. This maybe possible with your son......
It's difficult to phrase this to your son, as a positive, but it sounds like a really sensible suggestion to support him. You have to take the school refusal seriously, as not getting it sorted out will have long term issues. The only other thought is to change year groups but move to a different school, so it's a fresh start. Though his school sounds amazing, so would probably be reluctant.
(My son refuses school at times for various reasons, school can no longer meet his needs - academic and social, so we will be moving him. )

I agree with this approach. You and the teachers will be making a decision for him, but would like to get his thoughts. It sounds like you know another child who has done similar, and could talk to him about that too.

As someone who works across several London boroughs with young children, it is pretty rare to hold back children once they have started school, apart from those with significant SEN. However that doesn't make it a bad thing, and presumably your borough is ok with it, if the school have done it several times. I have a friend with a now year 6 child who really regrets not deferring him (summer birthday, born prem) and ended up moving him to private school, which may not have happened if he had been deferred.

Your DS is currently not very happy. Doing something to hopefully his happiness now (well, in September) is surely better than keeping him miserable now just in case he has hypothetical issues as a teenager.

There is a drop in birthday rate in the UK for children born in 2020/2021 so if he repeats year 1, this will mean he is in the 'low birth rate year' (or the first of a few anyway). This could help with secondary school applications, Uni, anything really!

I havent read the whole thread but our son was educated out of year and then was bumped back to his appropriate year group when he moved to secondary. We were told that this would happen unless we coukd justify keeping him in the year below.

This does happen and is not ‘virtually impossible’ as some have said. My nephew was held back a year at the school’s suggestion (not a private school) as he wasn’t ready and had to repeat the year. He didn’t mind. I think for some children it’s absolutely the right thing and for others is not, it’s completely down to what’s best for the individual child.

That's interesting @Geneticsbunny – can I ask how long ago that was? just wondering if it would be different now. What year did your DS skip? did he miss year 6 or year 7? How was it for him?

You mentioned that he had his confidence knocked and 'gave up' reading at the start of year 1...so now it's nearly the end of year 1 has there really been no improvement? What has the school been doing to try to rebuild his confidence? For example, can they do some 1:1 reading instead of in a group so he's not comparing himself to the others. What is he like reading at home with you?

Sorry, I'm not answering your question about how to talk to him about it. It must feel awful to see him so upset going to school and I hope you find the best way to help him. I would try to work with him on how he views himself. It's not about being the best, but being better than you were last week. Focus on what he is really good at too.

I think this is because of covid - kids born sept-early Nov 2020 were conceived before Covid, and then the birthrate really dropped off before picking up again, so the cohort just finishing reception is more lumpy than others - fewer spring borns and more summer.

My DD is autumn born in this year and thriving, with friends across the age range. She doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb. It’s a 3 form entry and there are a few deferred kids plus others also born early autumn. You can’t distinguish between a child born in August and a child born in September by looking at them.

I wonder if OP has fully understood what is being suggested here. It seems that phonics is the biggest bugbear here (and I could rant on about this for pages but won't).
It is not unusual for some children to work on phonics out of their year group, so possibly the H/T is suggesting that DS practices phonics with the year below, which actually would seem sensible to me, under the circumstances.

That is the most likely explanation of the 'multiple' children doing it. The way to explain that is that Teacher needs someone to show the new children in the class how to go on in the groups. Which I'm sure the school will tell you if you ask them, OP.

Was he working at the expected level when he was held back?

Dan's reception form was 12 Winter babies, 3 spring babies and 15 summer babies iicr.

Even though the summer babies weren't allowed to go full time until after Christmas -and some chose not yo until the summer term, by year 1 it was clear that the summer babies had more than caught up.
I used the read with them and the top group for both reading and maths only had one winter baby,cand the rest were summer - including one boy whose birthday was 30th August.
When it came to GCSEs this was still true as seen by results ( of those I know)

It really doesn't sound in your child's best interest and I don't understand why you'd be pushing for him to spend another year in a class he didn't enjoy, away from his peers, especially when he's at the expected level.

I agree.

The OPs son is at the expected level and the initial issues started as he felt the other children were finding the work easier. He took a massive confidence knock right at the start of Year 1 seeing how much more advanced other children were, particularly the girls, that he decided reading and writing just wasn’t for him and gave up

I don't understand why the OP thinks it's a good idea to repeat year 1, when the same thing is likely to happen again. If he struggled with his peers being more advanced, then it's going to be so much worse when he realises that his new younger classmates are finding the work easier than him.

@WildPine I wouldn’t do it unless absolutely essential. I am summer born as are my siblings (all end of August) and while it won’t matter as much while your child is young, it will soon become apparent that they are a year behind once their friends start talking about birth years and film ratings or driving lessons and lottery tickets etc etc. Your child will then have to explain why they were kept behind, which they might find harder to navigate as a teenager than their current feelings as a young child. The gap seems huge when they’re tiny but it soon closes. Just my experience.

That would make much more sense - he’d do some lessons with the year 1 pupils and others with his own year group.

@WildPine maybe ask the school if that’s an option, or double check if that’s what they meant? It does seem very odd to hold him back entirely just for phonics issues and likely to cause a lot of problems later on! FWIW some kids just don’t get on with phonics - both of mine were significantly behind in reading at the end of year 1, then it suddenly clicked for them around year 2/3 when they were learning whole words and reading more interesting stuff. They’re both slightly above age related expectations now (year 4 and 6).

Our school mix phonics which is actually something that makes me quite uncomfortable when it includes KS2. We have had children in year 4 being grouped with R/yr1.
It is quite normal for yr1 to mix with R or yr 2 for phonics.
I do think if you have a yr 4 still at the bottom end of the phonics scheme then it is not working for them and continuing to send them to the lower years groups is just humiliating.