Repeating Yr 1 - experiences of explaining to child?

[WildPine]

My DS is at a lovely supportive school in London. He is August born and though working at an expected level he has struggled with reading - phonics in terms of his enjoyment and confidence since the move up from reception, and bubbled just under the average. He took a massive confidence knock right at the start of Year 1 seeing how much more advanced other children were, particularly the girls, that he decided reading and writing just wasn’t for him and gave up. He would much rather be playing.

he has started attempting to refuse school, hiding in his wardrobe and getting very upset each morning. The drop offs have been awful and hard with his crying and not wanting to go in. Staff have been great but I’m so worried about this. We are always encouraging a love of learning and books etc so it’s heartbreaking to see. Since January most mornings have been full of upset.

His school operates a Danish model in year 1 so there is still a great deal of play-based learning, but come Year 2 it goes back to traditional classroom learning.

The Head has suggested DS might benefit from repeating Yr 1, to give him the chance to continue in the play-based environment for another year and crucially to feel like he is one of the more advanced in the class- gain more confidence in his abilities - as he does tend to compare and compete with others despite us trying to teach him otherwise.

Overall we think the decision could really benefit him. The school is very supportive and say they do this quite a few times each year for all sorts of reasons to support the child, not only in cases of SEN. (We don’t suspect SEN at this stage). They would also help with secondary applications when the time came to alleviate any knock on issues and seem very relaxed about it.

So in terms of his learning and confidence we think it could work well. I think he would really be boosted by feeling as if he was as good as most of the class at phonics and even “knew more” than some kids - just the way his mind works. What we now need to think about is how to explain it to our DS. He can be very sensitive and proud and we don’t want him to get a whiff of “not being good enough / clever enough” vibes from this.

Has anyone else’s DC repeated Year 1, and if so what was your experience and how did you explain it to the child?

He wouldn’t have to be better, he’d have to be the same standard as the others in the team.

It is extremely common in football, for example, to have kids who are good “playing up”, so he’d likely have classmates in the team anyway. Or, he might not be interested in sport at all.

Hmmmm, I'd be asking school to be putting strategies in place to support him to transition into year 2 not just holding him back. Not an expert but SEN doesn't have to mean a formal diagnosis of neuro divergence or similar does it? If he's struggling with the work and attending school then support should be put in place surely?

Also dyslexia is very common and shockingly undiagnosed so might be worth looking at an assessment if it's the reading and writing he's struggling with.

What do the school suggest when the “pastoral and confidence issues” aren’t resolved by repeating a year?

What? Surely he would have to be as good as those kids at the sport to get onto the team anyway so it’s a moot point! If he’s good enough and wants to do it then he can - the year change would make no difference. He would be playing on a team comprised of kids from across multiple classes and not just within his own form group.

the social side is probably one of the positives as he gets to keep friends in the year above and make new ones. He already plays with kids across different year groups at playtime and in clubs and invites them on play dates so he’s does mix with different years already.

Definitely this. Your DS will change a lot in a year. Think long term about what it’s going to be like when he’s 11 and is a year behind going to secondary school, or when he’s 18 and stuck in school for another year watching his peers go off to uni or travelling

Working as expected is absolutely fine for a 5 year old especially one young for the year. There is an awful lot of time to catch up, and actually not everyone is super academic and that’s fine too.

Children aren’t stupid either, however you “frame” it your DS and the other DC will figure out that he’s been held back and that could end up making him feel worse

Also bear in mind that being the eldest doesn’t necessarily mean most advanced. I am July born and was always among the “top of the class” throughout school, my April born DD is the same. How is he going to feel if DC almost a year younger are doing better than him academically?

The system is no different throughout the country. I and a few other posts have just tried to make you take account of wider issues resulting from the decision you gave to make. One last thing, then I intend to bow out, please check about transfer to secondary schools. Some selective schools in the state system will not accept out if cohort applications. You COULD be faced with a situation where your child has to skip Y6 or enter secondary school into Y8. Non selective schools are probably more flexible but it is worth making sure you do not cut off some options or make life harder for you and your child later on.

Well, you sound like you’re assuming they won’t be resolved. The school very much hope they will be resolved and are planning for this outcome!

and I would imagine if further problems occur, they will support as they have done so far, and as they would with any other problems.

This, and what happens if there are other new children who are better than him?

I’m not assuming anything. It was a genuine question.

@MyTealOPcan I ask what your experience of this is? Eg how old is your child?

I live in an area with selective Grammar schools. Relative has child currently in Y6 so starting secondary school this year. The regulations for all 7 Grammar schools in the country state they will only accept out of cohort pupils in extenuating circumstances. Merely being delayed a year starting or leaving primary is not in itself a good enough reason. Hence very nearly all the children being admitted to the 7 schools will be in the correct birth cohort. Non selective schools will be more flexible.

This is a strange reason to hold him back, especially if he's keeping up to expected levels. Currently you can say "they are better at this because they are older than you," which is both honest and easy for a child to understand. You won't have that if/when someone in the year below overtakes him.

My experience in Scotland is that the kids deferred to give them an advantage have parents that start quite defensive about it, their child is not ahead because of age, they are ahead because of their amazing-ness. The child also has a hard time about age 8-9 when the gap narrows and younger, brighter kids start getting ahead. I think there is a greater propensity to compare to peers in this group though, which is why they are deferred and you can't pull that out of the bigger picture.

It's also odd that the head doesn't care about all the other kids in the class who might feel "behind" your DS when he's doing work he's done before. If he compares himself more than is healthy, you'll need to manage the potential "showing off" as well.

@WildPine You won’t have an issue with private secondaries as long as they are not a competitive entry. Quite a few overseas dc where English isn’t the first language do this and are down a year.

I think it singles him out as not being good enough and he’s going to know this. What about his friends and separation from them? It’s disruptive. I’ve seen it used in state schools for Sen dc (years ago!) before entry to special school. What this school is really saying to you is that the y2 teacher isn’t going to differentiate the curriculum for your dc so you pay them twice for your dc losing his friends and their inability and unwillingness to differentiate work.

Frankly, it’s poor. He’s at expected! Why would another year on repeat help him? He’s just left behind in sport and socialising. I would expect the school to
meet his needs in y2, or what are you paying for? And paying twice. It’s surely going to dent his confidence? I would want him moving with his cohort.

Deferrals (and so kids outside of normal year group) are increasingly common - there won’t be any issue with that by the time OP’s child gets to secondary age. I was looking at grammars within reach of North and East London recently for my kids and they all make provision for this already.

There is so much fear mongering about complete hypotheticals on this thread. OP can’t know how her DS will think about it in future, she can only do what she thinks (and is advised by the school) would be best for him now. Kids who are born on 1 Sept cope absolutely fine with being the oldest/getting their driving licence first/being physically taller than others - there is no reason why this would be some big issue for her son. There were quite a few kids in my (selective grammar) school who were a year older as they had been educated abroad, and we were all just jealous they could buy booze earlier. There was definitely no stigma, and this was 20+ years ago.

The only consideration - and the only thing OP was asking about - is how to frame it for her child so he sees it as a positive.

I work in an education related field and would always advise against repeating a year. As others have already pointed out, secondary transition can be an issue as it is at the discretion of the local authority to agree whether that child can continue to secondary school out of their normal year group. If you have strong evidence that it would be in the child's best interests then that will help, for example if there are SEND issues, but if you don't have any of those then you are leaving yourselves open to the prospect of your child having to skip year 6 and go straight to year 7, or joining year 8 on entry to secondary. I'd want to know what support the current school is giving your child to help them attain age related expectations to allow them to move up with their peers. Are you sure they aren't just manipulating their outcomes and attainment data by holding back anyone who's not achieving age related results? Edited to say - I have now seen that he's at age related expectations, which makes the notion of repeating a year seem even more unwise.

I am getting a picture of a Primary school that is failing to fill its year groups due to birth rate drop. The fact that the school has the space to enable children to repeat years shows they are not at full capacity in KS1 years. If I were the OP I would want to find out for sure if the children kept back really do 8 years in primary or if in reality the children are gently put back to their correct school year sometime in Juniors. Maybe as suggested by a poster above with a mid year move up.

What would happen if he wanted to do a foundation year before university? Or if something happened in year twelve/thirteen with his A levels and he needed three years in sixth form? Which does seem to happen quite often.

I don’t think this can be compared at all with deferring reception.

@Sideofnoreturni think it’s truer to say that deferrals have become more common, but as they’ve only been a thing for just over a decade, we are now only just starting to see the negative effects at the other end of their schooling. I think now that a fuller picture is emerging, it’s entirely possible that deferrals will start to decline.

This Is a good point. What happens if he’s still struggling? What’s the answer then? Keeping him back a year feels like a lazy answer to this problem to me.
The state school system in England is the same across all of England. London is not different.
Is the school an academy? Or church school?
As many of us have testified this is still a very unusual approach. What is being proposed is a rare occurrence for a child who is simply a little behind in phonics.

Please read the thread. It is a STATE school! We are not at private!!

OMG I feel like you’re clutching at straws now! The reception year group is actually full. However a child will be leaving hence the spot.

I can’t work out why you seem to be finding a whole host of brand new different reasons to crush this plan each time I reply. There must be another real reason you don’t feel comfortable with it.

Based on what exactly? Have you got any evidence you could share?

Im from Ireland where kids can start between 4 and 6 with the majority starting between 4.5 and 5.5. Irish children have some of highest educational rates of attainment worldwide, and certainly ahead of the U.K.

Thanks! I’m not sure what’s going on on this thread!

Have you considered using a tutor for your DS, rather than the more awkward route of having him repeat a year?

The only children I knew that were repeating a year had GDD, they weren't even close to achieving the average targets. Your child is, so couldn't an enthusiastic tutor help him rekindle his motivation for learning? It's quite probable that the children in the year below will recognise your DS as being in the year above and question him as to why he's now in their class. And no matter how you spin it to your DS, the other kids will probably be less tactful than you will be. You will have no control over what they say to him, and it might not be encouraging and possibly make him feel worse. Won't he feel sad at his familiar classmates and friends moving on without him?

I would honestly look for other ways to address this. I sought tutoring for my DS when he had a confidence crisis and it was really helpful with no downsides - nobody in his class was aware.

@WildPine I think people with summer borns who didn’t defer them find it all really triggering, a bit like the bf/ff debate.

Fwiw I don’t have any skin in this game as I’ve got a spring born boy and autumn born girl, who are being educated in their “correct” year group. My girl is very bright (and as a girl, more mature anyway), and contrary to what some would say, was not bored in the slightest in nursery and has absolutely thrived being one of the most physically and academically capable in the class. She is very tall as well.

My spring born boy is just as intelligent but was noticeably less ready for school and has only found his place at the top of the class in year 3 - was more average before, and just less interested in school work. It is definitely possible that your child will find his feet later, even if you don’t hold him back, but depends how much his confidence has been knocked this year.