Help me leave this WhatsApp group!

[Highlandschmiland]

I’ve ended up in a WhatsApp group of consisting of 4 women. We used to work together and 2 of us have since moved on to other workplaces. We had an fab night out when I left, invited the whole staff body, those who wanted to/ were available came great time had by all (about a year ago). Couple of meals out locally. Lovely. Flash forward to second member leaving and the set up was very different, select people were invited, all very cloak and dagger, excluded people from work but invited ex colleagues. All felt strange.

Anyway, since this second leaving do the group has become a pressure cooker of availability, ‘getting something in the diary’ and booking, booking, booking. But all the suggestions are piss ups, big nights out.

I hate it.

I hate bottomless brunches, big piss ups and nights out. I can’t understand why we can’t just go out for food or a coffee, but when I suggest this I’m ignored. I even got told that one of them ‘tends to avoid those sorts of places’ when suggesting we meet at a restaurant close by.

I’m actually wondering how I get out of this group before this one’s over and the next round of pressure builds. Honestly it’s worse than the peer pressure I faced as a teen! I’ve tried to dip out and say you guys go, I’ll come next time but there’s an all or nothing policy that’s developed and adds to the pressure. I don’t think I even have much in common with these women any more and may be it was the workplace (absolutely toxic) that held us together for a couple of years (no more than 18 months).

How do I leave this group?! Help!

This is perfect 🙌

...This!!.. no more words needed

I wouldn’t mention drink/alcohol- you risk them saying you have a drink problem.

I don't know why she needs to message when she can just leave the group. End of!

I had all the with a school mum’s group, I tried all the I can’t do that date but you guys go ahead etc. In the end I left the group, the admin lady was notified who I actually liked the least and I’ve literally never thought about it since until reading this thread.

Or just say “I’m not up for a big drinking session, but give me a shout if you fancy something quieter” and then mute the group. There’s no need to make a point of leaving and telling everyone you’re doing so.

This just delays the leaving.

But she doesn’t have to leave at all. What difference does it make if OP just mutes it so that she can check in later if she feels like it, rather than permanently excluding herself?

Because there’s only 4 members I can feel the tension if someone doesn’t reply. It’s so awkward.

This is really good. I’m going on one last meal next Friday then I’m out.

It’s only because it such a small group, I think if there were loads of us I’d not give it a second thought. And I do think if it wasn’t always about getting pissed I’d stay. But it always come back to booze.

I’m doing one last meet up next week the. I’m going with the whole things are really busy and I’m struggling to commit so I’m going to leave the group.

This is good advice