Does anyone else have men in your life who delight in telling you what needs doing around your house?

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Literally why do they do it? None of the women in my life would do this.

Last time my stepdad visited the first thing he said was that the hedge out front really needs cutting. Like YES I KNOW, its irritating me too, I have actually noticed its making it hard to park on my drive, unfortunately it grows like mad in summer and I only have so much free time.

A good male friend of mine popped round yesterday and informed me that my front door needs attention because its a bit sticky when you shut it. Does he really think that I haven't noticed it, I use that bloody door multiple times a day 😂 again, I'm not made of time or money.

I dont know why they do this, theyre not offering to help, just offering their redundant observations 😂 god help me

Oh I ask for help! And sometimes I get it. Actual life hack.

My next door neighbour fixed my gate, bless him.

Quite. Or, if really wanting to do something to sort the house out - deal with the pile of crap under the living room table or sort out the clothes the kids have outgrown and list on vinted/send to to charity shop etc.

laying some special mesh and cutting holes for my individual favoured plants to grow through which will then prevent other weeds coming up is probably about 187th on the list tbh.

I would actually have had to restrain myself from hitting the Mansplainer with the yew branch !🤣Still, he might have then been useful as fertiliser!🤣

My father was like this. I just put him to work, and over time he stopped commenting!

I’ve opened my front door to the sight of my MiL pulling weeds up from the front path. I don’t even see them, never mind have the urge to remove them, so if I’m supposed to feel judged/chastised by this, I’m afraid she’s wasting her time. She could, of course, think she’s being helpful . . . As for the men, I’d ask them whether they’re offering/point them in the direction of the relevant tool/tell them to STFU depending on mood.

^^^

This

My husband just explained in detail how to empty a commode. Bear in mind that I was a nursery nurse, cared for sn children and adults, was a a carer in homes , had 6 children, looked after his mum who had dementia and finally cared for my own parents. I emptied many a potty and commodes. When asked how many he's emptied, he eventually said a few, pressed again and he finally said none. I can still hear him retching now!

😂 dare I ask why there was a commode that needed to be emptied?

Or are you saying that he was retching just from the thought of it 😲

@Allelbowsandtoes
Yes it needed emptying, I won't go into to much detail but it was extremely large and smelly. Probably the size of 9 month old baby's leg. It also has visible sweetcorn here and there. The owner was very proud!

My Dad will point stuff out and then do it, which is great.

Mum too, to be fair. Will say my floors need a wash or whatever, then I’ll find her doing it.

No my lovely or they would be wearing their testicles as earrings 😂

But… why don’t you SAY something?

it often feels like the corollary of mansplaining is female silence.

I know it’s socialised but … come on people, it’s not that hard. These are not dangerous situations.

Only my exH. This is among the many reasons he's exH.

Mine has done once, years ago, I didn’t do anything in the house for 2 days and he’s never said it again. He values his life too much I think

Maybe a comment on the weather or even a compliment on something good about the house or the garden would do the trick then.

The ultimate power move in this situation is to do and say nothing: “OK, Dave”; “Mmm. Would you like a coffee? I’m just making one”. That will really fuck with their heads.

Men like this are telling you that you need to default to their incredible, knowledgeable manliness and be so grateful they have turned up to share their man facts and wisdom.

Best approach is just to go “mm hmm, thanks for that Barry” and then move on.

What makes you think I didn't say something? 😂

I'm glad you did! I hope it was explicit and crushing and not just 'yes, i'm aware'.

I do think on here we often see examples of women who fiind it really really hard to speak up, and in general to speak the truth to men.

I had an ex boyfriend who said "your front fence really needs replacing". The following week, he presented me with a quote from a local fencing company , and said "There you go, all you need to do is give them your credit card number" !!!

😳

No. They wouldn’t dare!

My husband pointed out once that our skirting boards were looking a bit dusty. I reminded him where the cleaning cloths were. Funnily enough, he didn't get down right away and start wiping them.

Yep - my dad will drop in while I’m cooking for the family, hanging washing having just walked through the door from work and say something like ‘the lightbulb in that lamp needs changing’ - ffs I know!! I’ll add it to the list!

My dad does this every time he visits, then gets a bollocking immediately from my mum and then from me. You’d think he would have given up by now.