Is it normal to panic after a wanted first pregnancy?

[minniemoominn]

I’ve just found out I am pregnant with my first baby and I am panicking. My husband and I got married last year and always said we would start trying in June. We are in a very good position and a baby has been much discussed.

Instead of actively trying we decided we would stop being safe and see what happens to take the pressure off. I have stage 4 endometriosis which has required several surgeries to unglue a frozen pelvis so I was unsure if I could ever get pregnant and I assumed it would take a very long time. I’ve chatted with doctors, started folic acid etc. Miraculously I got pregnant the first time I and I know how incredibly lucky I am.

This baby is very much wanted so why am I panicking so much? Is this normal? I feel completely filled with fear. I haven’t told my husband yet because I didn’t expect to feel the way I do. I think maybe it’s the fact that I expected it to take a while but I expected to be screaming with excitement.

I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this? I very much want the baby but I don’t know why I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.

It's okay. It's normal. You will probably go through a whole range of emotions and it's all okay. Once you have got past the shock you will probably be happy and excited. Congratulations OP.

Oh yes I remember it well. I felt panic and an oh shit what have we done. I remember having to go upstairs to lie on the bed to calm down. All normal I think! It's a huge life changing moment isn't it?
Once you've let it all sink in properly it's exciting!

Totally normal. Full on, complete panic with planned no.1 for me.

Yes, I think this is a completely normal reaction. It suddenly got real with your whole life about to change and you may feel out of control. Let the news settle a bit, you'll start getting used to the thought and hopefully will start looking forward to it soon without breaking into a cold sweat. Congratulations!

Yes, it’s normal. Not so much in the beginning of pregnancy (I think I was too bloody tired then), but my very first day of maternity leave with my first, I had a lovely pregnancy spa treatment and I was on my way home from the spa and stopped to get some things for dinner. My card got declined at the till and I just burst into tears in the middle of Asda because I was obviously going to be a terrible mum and I wasn’t ready and I couldn’t even remember to put money in my account to buy some pasta, how did I deserve a child?! 😂 My waters went early the next morning and my daughter was born that afternoon! It’s normal. You’ll be absolutely fine. Have a snack and go take a nap if you can.

Yes, it's normal! It's a life changing event that, to a large extent, you have no control over. Just let yourself have all of your emotions and enjoy this bonding time with your baby. Congratulations, btw!!

Yep!

I’ve had positives since yesterday on early pregnancy tests and my period is due on Sunday. I don’t think far enough along today to get a positive on a clear blue digital but I will try tomorrow. I think seeing the word pregnant might help me a bit with the shock!

I still haven’t told husband but will tomorrow if the digital shows up.

Congratulations! Yes totally normal.

I swung wildly between excitement and panic for most of my pregnancy. It’s life changing in every single way so I think some panic is normal! It got better once I had a bump and could feel him move as then it felt real.

100% normal, I tried for months and then when I got a positive I cried to DH and asked him if he thought we'd ruined our lives 🙈

That was me. I was in shock and disbelief. It passes.

I’m having my third and I feel like this. It’s completely normal. Sending love and well wishes!

I went into absolute panic and cried a lot the night before I found out. I tested really late so I was 99% sure I was pregnant. Baby was planned but it's still a lot to get your head around. He's 5 now and I love him so much (went on to have another a couple of years later so can't have been too bad 😅).

Yes definitely normal! I had this with both of my children. I had it so badly with my first that I actively went for an appointment to talk about ending the pregnancy (I didn’t in the end). It’s such a strange feeling, but at least when I had my second child and I had the same feeling I knew it was normal.

Big congratulations to you.Your hormones are going haywire and it will probably be contributing to a whole array of emotions.Tell your husband when you feel ready and you will be able to go through it together.I remember feeling the same to start with.I think it is partly because you start to think what will happen to your body and how life will change.
You should also see your GP soon and they will refer you to a midwife.
Take each day as it comes and look forward to your wee one coming!

I panicked with both of my two very planned pregnancies, even thinking about termination. Totally mad when I look back now, but yes completely normal.

Oh yes, completely normal. It’s scary, no matter how wanted and planned it is. You will be fine. Congratulations!

Every single morning when I woke up and remembered I was pregnant I absolutely shat myself, couldn’t love my DD any more than I do, best thing that ever happened to me.

First pregnancy I cried every day for 3/4 days wondering why did we think this was a good idea!! I think it’s pretty normal. I phoned one of my friends and she said she felt the exact same. After a week or so I was grand! Hormones, shock, fear of the unknown!! The feeling will pass and you will be delighted! Congratulations!!

I can't have children but other ladies here have advised it's normal so I wouldn't stress that you're abnormal! It's probably the shock as like you say you had some doubts about even being able to conceive and it happening first time. Congratulations OP!

I was so worried through my first pregnancy that I kept assuming something would happen until he was here safely.
TTC for over 2 years, also had stage 3/4 endo and thought I would never get to be a Mum.
Pregnancy had multiple complications, birth was traumatic and he was a demanding baby.
4 years later and I got pregnant unexpectedly (we thought we were being careful) and had an easier pregnancy, birth and early years experience with our daughter.
Try not to panic and enjoy each stage as you get to it!

Completely normal. I have been pregnant 3 times and panicked every time. First one was scary and he ended up being an emergency section, second one was pure panic… but it’s ok 🤣 and completely normal.

edited for clarity.

Totally normal, and normal that it’s a shock how you feel. I think we expect it to be like all the videos online and we’ll feel overjoyed, but it’s normal for it to be a total shock when it happens immediately, when you were only just flirting with the idea of ‘trying’. Tbh the whole of being pregnant and having babies is filled with ‘this is not how I thought it would be’ experiences!

Why don’t you just tell DH and go through the shock together?

Be honest with your husband. He can support you and will understand.

There is such a thing as antenatal anxiety so if it really becomes a problem, tell your midwife. There’s no shame in any of this.

Absolutely. We'd been trying for a year but when it actually happened I kept thinking "Oh help there is an actual baby in there".