My view on Proms

[SuitcaseAndSecrets]

School proms are relatively new in the UK.
Traditionally, British schools had things like:
A leavers' disco
A sixth-form ball
A school dinner or awards evening
The American-style "prom" only really became widespread in the late 1990s and 2000s, helped by US films and TV shows such as American Pie and High School Musical. Schools and parents started adopting the idea of a big end-of-school celebration with formal dresses, suits, limousines, professional photos, and fancy venues.
A lot of people have frustration with the cost. What was once a simple school dance can now involve:
£100-£300+ dresses
Suit hire
Hair and makeup
Transport (sometimes limos)
Tickets for the venue
Professional photography
For some families it can easily end up costing several hundred pounds for one evening.
The odd thing is that much of the pressure doesn't come from schools themselves. It's often social media and comparison with what other students are doing. A perfectly normal £30 dress can feel "not enough" when everyone's posting glamorous photos online.
My daughters age 41 and 33 didn't go to theirs.. l was happy with a leavers disco..
We seem to be becoming American.. with Baby showers too.

Okay?
Did AI write this? Why?

My prom was 30 years ago in NI, when we actually had minimal American imports overall. Dresses were fancy and expensive, pre parties were hosted, 3 course sit down meal followed by drinking and dancing. Limos and makeup were very common.
It all still happened and social media pressure didn’t exist, the only difference is we didn’t call it a prom, but that hasn’t changed either.

My 17yo had a lovely time at her prom last year. She spent £8 on her prom dress (vinted) looked lovely and got ready with a buddy and did her own hair and make up. Friend's dad took them in his regular old car (don't even know what it is) and I picked her up in my skoda. Happy kid.

No my daughter wrote it for me.. well for her own post on Instagram.. ( she writes for a magazine) .l just copied and pasted and did a few alterations.

My daughter’s school has had caveats on who can attend. She has had an invite but some friends not. They have all decided not to go as apparently it’s boring, expensive, finishes at 9pm & those going just want the expensive photos after all spending £100s on outfits, hair & makeup.
They are opting for the after party 🥳 !

I think they can be a bit cheesy, too. Nice for them to have a party of some sort though .

I agree that’s it’s out of hand. My DDs changed school at 14 so had a “prom” then, a modest affair run by the pta and teachers organised the BBQ, head’s son was dj, yes they wore dresses but the £30 from a normal shop kind (few years ago, say £50 now) and boys wore trousers and shirts mostly not suits.

after GCSEs at the next school a prom was organised but mine didn’t attend because it was in the school hall and dry … I for each of my DDs hosted a alternative in my garden, well attended and no fancy dresses in sight.

dd1 didn’t attend her leavers ball at 18, but we all went to dd2’s as parents were invited! Dress cost £60

So your daughter wrote an article on disliking proms cos they make us American, so you copied and posted it as your own opinion.

Again,
Okay.
Why??

She didn't go to get post GCSE party cos there was no alcohol??

I agree it’s an American word and the event is far more fancy than the discos we had in my day. That said, I didn’t attend my end of school disco but my daughter is really excited to go to her prom, and I am very happy for her.

Because l agree and l wanted to.. next question.

We had a ball 20 ish yrs ago but it was very much the same as a prom. Limos and £££ dresses were a thing then.

My daughter just spent £700 on a prom dress. With alterations, hair, make up and transport her Dad is spending about 1k. Total waste of money imo.

I don't think there is a prom anywhere (GCSE age) that would have alcohol. How weird for that to be the reason for not going.

we didn’t pay for it & no one hired professional photographs. I don’t think that’s the norm now either but there will always be people who spend more on something.

Meh, I had my first snog at mine when I was 16 way back in 1999, so I'm all for them, a bit "American" or not"

That is insane! But it can only happen if parents allow it to happen.

A local parent holds a dress swap every year where people can borrow dresses for free. The dresses are donated by other locals who’ve bought them and no longer need them.
My DS’s suit was a tenner from Vinted. No one is getting a limo.
These things are only allowed to get as insane as they are because parents facilitate it.

It's hardly new. I'm middle aged and went to a prom in my GCSE year. More fool parents if they want to spend all that money on prom dresses. Surely you can pick one up second hand and do your own hair and make up?

I would have thought the likes of Vinted have made it easier to get cheaper outfits.

My DS is going to just this evening. The only cost involved was £35. For that he gets a 3 course meal in a nice venue with a DJ. It’s a lovely way to mark the end of 6th form with their friends.

He’s wearing the same suit he wore for his school prom and DH is taking him in the car. So no additional expense apart from buying a couple of drinks.

I think it is more expensive for girls who tend to want a fancy dress, hair, makeup and car. But that’s down to their own choice. Maybe people could learn not to be pressured by social media 🤷‍♀️

Define new. My school has had a prom for 30 years. The year 11 one is on site and is cheap as chips. Always been called a prom though. Always had limos and fancy frocks.

My DD had a ball at her prom 8 years ago
Dress was 400 but she took it to Uni for balls etc
Shoes were not expensive and she took my Gucci bag and wore my jewellery
In the grand scheme of things I thought that was all ok

So? If you can’t afford it don’t go. I’m American and in 1986 my friends and I all skipped our prom because our parents didn’t have the money and we thought proms were lame.

You’re not going to stop globalisation. We saw the Americans doing proms and thought they looked fun and we copied them. The vast majority of teens love it. But if your daughter doesn’t want to go she should skip it. I skipped my leavers’ disco 20 years ago because I thought it sounded lame. I went to a gig instead. No shame in not going somewhere you don’t want to go. But you’re not going to stop proms from being popular with the majority.

My dd had a great time at her prom. Her dress was from asos and it was £12. She didn’t pay for hair or make up and my dh took her and three friends. She had a blast.

I’ve never heard of anyone having professional photographs taken. They should just get in the same person who takes professional photographs of them in school every single other year. Then nobody would think it was American.

I’m pleased that my daughter was having a great time with her friends.

If your daughters are 33 and 41 and didn’t go to their proms, they can’t be a new idea.