My view on Proms

[SuitcaseAndSecrets]

School proms are relatively new in the UK.
Traditionally, British schools had things like:
A leavers' disco
A sixth-form ball
A school dinner or awards evening
The American-style "prom" only really became widespread in the late 1990s and 2000s, helped by US films and TV shows such as American Pie and High School Musical. Schools and parents started adopting the idea of a big end-of-school celebration with formal dresses, suits, limousines, professional photos, and fancy venues.
A lot of people have frustration with the cost. What was once a simple school dance can now involve:
£100-£300+ dresses
Suit hire
Hair and makeup
Transport (sometimes limos)
Tickets for the venue
Professional photography
For some families it can easily end up costing several hundred pounds for one evening.
The odd thing is that much of the pressure doesn't come from schools themselves. It's often social media and comparison with what other students are doing. A perfectly normal £30 dress can feel "not enough" when everyone's posting glamorous photos online.
My daughters age 41 and 33 didn't go to theirs.. l was happy with a leavers disco..
We seem to be becoming American.. with Baby showers too.

It's as out of hand as you let it be. For most, it's an opportunity to celebrate the end of exams with their friends. Mine were much more excited about the after parties, but it was a fun, memorable evening after lots of time spent studying.

We didn't even have a dance. But then I was at an all girls school, so I can't imagine we would have been very interested. We just went into town drinking after A-Levels, can't remember after GCSEs. Probably same tbh! I was definitely jealous when watching the American prom in films in my teens, so I'm not surprised it was imported. Though also not surprised it's unpopular with some kids.

Our school (no sixth form) is not doing one this year due to not enough students going.

What actually happens is that the popular/rich kids (and their parents) all organise big pool and barn parties among themselves and go to those instead (last year there was a huge one organised for the same night as the official school prom), meaning not enough kids going to the prom to make it financially viable.

It means all the less well off and quieter kids will miss out on a big celebration.

Young people want to celebrate. Some will want to spend as much as they can but celebrations need not be expensive. Many people enjoy beautiful clothes and dressing up in them.

Remember that the US and Canada were settled by people from Europe and the UK who brought their customs and those have evolved.
Sometimes, people see a custom and adapt it to their own culture.

Proms are not a new custom invented by the Americans:
Prom is a clipped abbreviation of the word "promenade". Historically derived from the French promenade (a walk or public walk), the term ultimately traces back to the Late Latin prominare—meaning to drive animals forward—combining the prefix pro- (forth) and minari (to drive or threaten). 1]
The etymological evolution into the modern formal dance includes the following milestones:
16th & 17th Centuries: Originally used in French and English as a noun or verb for a leisurely stroll or the physical walkway where people walked for pleasure and display. 1]
19th Century: "Promenade concerts" became popular in Europe, where guests could stroll around while listening to classical music. Later, it referred to the grand march of guests entering a formal ball. 1, 2]

My prom was in 1995, and my dress cost £130 back then.

call it a leavers disco if you like-
whats the difference, really?

Celebrating is nice. So miserable to moan about it all the time.

All words have origins, often different from current usage. The etymology you’ve posted doesn’t add much to the OP’s point about school Proms.

Im 52 and had a prom in 1992 - 34 years ago.

my DS had his prom this year. It cost me

£80 for an M&S suit which he will wear again

£40 for the ticket which included at 3 course meal

no need for anything else. If you spend several hundreds on it that’s your choice - if you are daft enough

Does your daughter know you plagerised her instagram post? Its an odd thing to do.

The posters saying no prom has alcohol have made me lol, I was leathered at mine

My DD had her prom last week and had a blast. She got her dress on vinted and I paid to have it altered and her hair done on the day. She did her own make up and was driven there by her dad who put ribbons on his car.

Yes, it cost money but it’s something she’ll always remember.

I think they were making the point that the school weren’t serving it 😂

My daughter's prom didn't require anything like that. She had a dress and some shoes. None of her friends did a limo or photographer or any of the other stuff. People can make their own choices about what they want to spend money on.

Proms are pretty harmless it seems nice to mark the end of school. Dd ‘s spent next to nothing on their clothes and did their own hair. They had a lovely time. Baby showers are a pile of shite though.

We must not let the young people have fun, least of all American style fun. 🙃

We get this every year. It might be called 'prom' now but I had a sixth form ball 25 years ago and it was the same. Some people spent a lot on dresses, hair, makeup and limos, some people didn't.
You have just as much control now over what you spend your money on as you did 25 years ago, and it's probably even easier. We basically had Debenhams or a posh shop in town. Vinted wasn't a thing. You can learn how to do amazing hair and makeup online. Spending 100s is an active choice to ignore what's available to you. It's not the name of the party that makes you part with your cash.

dance can now involve:
£100-£300+ dresses
Suit hire
Hair and makeup
Transport (sometimes limos)
Tickets for the venue
Professional photography
You don't have to do any of this
My DDs got lovely dresses for a lot less than £100.
You can buy a suit from a high street shop.
Mine did their own hair and make up. The wouldn't want anyone else doing it.
Transport we just had a friend drive them in their open top car.
I have seen lots local people offer online for free to drive people to prom in sports cars if they are struggling.
Why would anyone need professional photography never heard of this ever.

Same for me, I went to (an awful) all girls' grammar and went out on the town after A levels because we could meet up with our boyfriends. I also have memories of going out and getting drunk when we got our results too, mine were surprisingly good so I got hammered!

Why would you do that?

And in particular, why did you claim it was your view on proms?

Even in 2004, we had a Leavers’ Dance. Proms were for the Americans 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't recognise the expensive prom thing.

DD bought a £30 dress from Quiz, got ready with her friends whilst us parents had wine, snacks and took many photos. They went in a minibus someone's parent organised. And had after party with her friendship group.

DS going next week has been more expensive. We tried two suits from vinted. They didn't fit - sold one on so hopefully it's going to someone else's prom. Had to buckle and buy a new £99 Next suit which he may get more use out of. He's wearing the shirt and tie DH wore to our wedding. I don't think he knows of any pre or after parties. So I guess we'll be driving him there and back.

In Scotland there has always been a fancy dance in a nearby hotel for S6 students leaving school. I did it when I was at school and I left in 1990. My son had his last week, a lot of the girls ordered their dresses on Vinted.

I had a prom in England 26 years ago.

So many AI OP’s today. Have the MN moderators give up the heatwave ghost and are now lying in a darkened room with large g&t’s?!

DD’s dress was £35, shoes £15, the ticket was £45. She got dressed with her friends, hair & makeup together, one of them drove, took photos on their phones. She didn’t get any alcoholic drinks as they were £10 each. Went back to a friend’s for a sleepover. She looked lovely, as they all do when they’re 18. No limos etc. She had the best time.

My dc all went to prom including make up, ticket and transport for under £100 and had a great time Things change but no one got looked down on for not spending hundreds on a suit or dress.