I have decided not to drink anymore. I think I will loose friends

[Kingfisherfly]

My main friendship group likes a drink, and whilst trips etc are planned around an activity, every opportunity is taken to get a (lot to) drink afterwards.

Tbf I've enjoyed that. I don't drink everyday, or even every week, but historically when I've had a drink, I've had a lot. I've also been someone as keen as the others to have a drink when we're out.

As I've got older I've started to take more interest in my health and recently I really don't want to be losing the next day to a hangover. I've also started to begrudge the cost. I've cut back a lot, and even that hasn't been very popular.

This weekend, while everyone else was having pints of beer, I had a half of cider topped up with ice, alternated with soda water, so I drank less than half the others.

I didn't enjoy it. I never got the benefit of feeling "drunk" and it seemed to make me anxious and hypersensitive. I felt upset by something others had said or done most of the day, and it's really not like me to take things so personally.

Plus, despite my efforts, I still felt tired, headachy, thirsty and generally jaded next day.

So I've decided that's it, no more drink and I don't think I'll miss it. But, my friends will. I know people will say if they were proper friends etc, but tbf it is quite a change and it does change the dynamic if one person isn't drinking.

What is your experience of of boozy friendships when someone stops drinking?

I drink non alcoholic beer when I’m out and not drinking. I also mix and match with soda water and lime cordial. No one seems to care too much. Driving is a fantastic excuse not to drink.

@Kingfisherfly I'm not over thinking. I know exactly how some of my friends will react.

If it's negative then they aren't your friends.

I stopped drinking and it hasn't had a huge effect on my friendship group.

They like the fact that they can get a lift off me! The only advice I can give though is if you are driving and people ask for a lift back make sure they know they either leave when you want to or they find their own way home. Otherwise you could be there hours after you want to leave.

I stopped drinking a few years ago, I am in my mid 30s. The reaction I would say has been largely 'fine' 'you do you'

BUT some people don't like it, they see it as a mirror on their own drinking. Or that you not drinking some of makes their drinking 'bad'. Many want to justify their drinking.

I did lose some friends. But that was largely due the my MH issues at the time also.

Now I just order what I want. I stay out of rounds and no one seems to notice or care. My sister was awkward around me for a while, like she felt she needed to behave or that I was judging her. I wasn't. In the few years I have never once told people of their embarrassing antics

I don't tell people I don't drink alcohol. The same way I don't tell them all the other drinks I don't drink (tomato juice being one)

I used to drink to excess with my ‘friends’ every weekend. It got too much and I just stopped going out. Yes, you do lose those ‘friends’ but you get your life back and do not spend days feeling rubbish.
I have a couple of good friends now and our lives are not consumed with alcohol. What you do socially changes but from my point of view I live a perfectly normal life.

I get it and was out with a new work group snd got comments ‘not drinking’ and ‘no wine’. It might be you need to shift your activities with them. I think people who judge are a bit narrow minded

I’m 3 years sober now. It’s possible, maybe likely you will lose friends, yes. Not necessarily because they ditch you for the wine. But because you find them incredibly boring.

I found it really tedious to hang out with a lot of my friends while they were drinking after I got sober. They are really quite annoying and tell the same bloody stories again and again. And aren’t all that interesting actually once i didn’t have alcohol to help me tolerate them.

But friends who I genuinely enjoyed, no issue at all. We have a lovely time. We don’t have to drink to spend time around each other. I like chatting with them even if they are drinking (I just don’t). I go home and go to bed when I’m done!

Basically, not drinking has meant I now have a better idea of what I enjoy and the people I like to be around. Turns out I had friends I always drank with because they’re quite unpleasant to be around unless you’re numbing yourself with alcohol! Now I just give them the swerve and that’s fine.