Seeing polite, well-dressed young men chatting happily in a café

[TheAverageJoanne]

I'm having lunch in a really nice (not naice) coffee house and bistro. The table just next to us had three guys about 19-20 having lunch together. One white, one black, one Asian. All dressed well, one wearing a Sade retro t-shirt. Sade!! Good conversation which we could hear and not a single swear word. I don't know why this makes me really happy but it does.

What a random comment.

That’s lovely OP. I recently had to wait in an train station for a long time near three young men of a similar age and they seemed nice enough but they still couldn’t stop swearing in front of my kids.

So lovely OP - pretty certain my DSes would fit this description when out and about with their mates

I don’t understand why this is surprising?

I genuinely believe the kids are alright. I was chatting to a group of graduates in work recently- mixed sexes/races/backgrounds etc. All eloquent, informed, and interesting. Certainly more well-rounded and mature than I was at 21/22.

I was sat opposite a mixed group of 4 young people in their 20’s a few months back, all speaking Welsh which warmed my heart for some reason.

Perhaps they were three of the four children of Miss Starkey. I'll be sent to prison if I write the rest of the story,
Maybe the fourth had gone to watch cricket.

They were sitting at a table and having a conversation? Wow, men really are celebrated for doing nothing. Bare minimum behaviour OP, it shouldn’t be so notable as to warrant a thread!

Assuming they were Welsh, why is this heartwarming?

I think this post was meant to be a compliment. But it is actually insulting to all men. The OP has a very low opinion of men if she finds this surprising.

I mean… I have sons this kind of age. I’d like to assume they would behave like normal humans in a cafe. Same as I would expect this of young women. Surely our expectations of young men aren’t SO low?

Do you not get out much OP?

Well sadly it isnt that are expectations are low so much as that unpleasant experiences stay with you.

I recently got off the train with my young grandson and the four teenage boys next to us all waved at him as he got off. It did warm my heart and theres nothing wrong with that.

See..classic example of how ready people are to be unpleasant.

On the other hand I took my dd out for breakfast this morning and encountered a man wearing a vest loudly swearing every other word talking about ‘foreigners‘ and other such tripe.

Trevor Nelson played a cracking Sade song on Funky Friday yesterday. Forgot what a lovely singer she is

I know what you mean OP and I'd proably have the same response, but it is a poor reflection on your general experience/opinion of men.

O gosh, sorry. Will chastise myself for being a bit sarcastic to someone whose basically insulting the majority of young men by being shocked any behave well. Must readjust my priorities immediately 🙄

Yes I think you should 😉

Sade was ace. Trevor Nelson plays cracking oldies on his show.
I do agree that if you see people behaving well and not swearing it’s a red letter day indeed. Mostly it’s kids on bikes playing chicken with the cars here or behaving badly over the park or throwing eggs at the cars seems to be the new thing they like to do.

It is depressing people can’t behave in public and when you do see it is nice to see.

@the80sweregreat
Agree ! and Trevor is the best two hours of the day and winds me down to escape at work.

This.

It is a very odd post.

Not sure what you were expecting OP ?
Is it their age or their ethnic make up that makes you think this is somehow something out of the normal experience of day to day life ?

Because Welsh is not spoken as a first language by many Welsh people, particularly not younger people even if they live in predominantly Welsh speaking areas. So to hear them actively use the language showed a real belief and value in their culture that they made the effort to continue.

My son and his mates are like that. (Although they do swear). But diverse, relaxed, educated, personable and if you had choked on your lunch, they’d leap into action as first aiders.

I think it is valid and notable, given how grim much of the male population can be but I do have hope for Gen Z.

My DDs that age also have lovely friends and as young women seem far more supportive of each other than I remember girls were back in the day when I was their age. They’re so switched on and emotionally intelligent. It’s heartening.