Breastfeeding and can't keep weight on

[firsttimepregnanthelp]

I know a lot of women struggle with baby weight but I am having the opposite problem. This is not a stealth brag at all - it is really getting me down.

I lost weight during pregnancy due to sickness and since having my baby 10 weeks ago appear to have lost more. I am now maintaining a BMI of 17.8 (20 point something pre pregnancy) and look awful. I found out my BMI today and it made me upset because i hadn't realised it was that low.
This hot weather makes me so self conscious because my arms and legs are so Skinny and I just want to cover up, and I am worried about the impact on my bones etc.

I am eating 2800 calories per day and eating a very balanced diet -6-7 portions of fruit and veg per day; meals including protein, carbs and fats and many snacks including fruit and yogurt, protein bars and (probably too much) ice cream, chocolate, cakes, biscuits etc but i am not gaining the weight I need to.

Obviously I need to increase my calories again but I already feel like I am eating SO MUCH and I am finding it quite a chore. In the early days I was ravenous so eating more wasn't so much of a problem but it is harder now. I've had dinner and am full but will need a significant number more calories this evening to reach my target. It is such hard work and defeating when the scales don't move.

Can anyone relate/empathise/advise?

Have you had bloods done? Particularly for thyroid levels?
If it is just a calorie in calories out issue add marvel milk powder to your yoghurt, cereal milk, and drinks you have during the day. Add melted butter, double cream and/or cheese to anything you can (potatoes, soup etc). Good luck!

@Jellyofftheplatethank you for your comment, yes I had my thyroid checked because I couldn't believe the amount I was eating wasn't doing anything. At times I feel tempted to stop breastfeeding because it is depleting me so much

Setting aside your weight, how do you feel? Are you feeling well? As energetic as one can with a baby who is up in the night?

if you feel well don’t worry about the weight and if you’re full, stop eating.

if you however feel awful do visit the doctors.

I was very thin breast feeding as well but it never bothered me. Be proud of how you look and of giving your baby a brilliant nutritional start in life

Less fruit, more cheese and nuts!

@Temporaryname158oh yeah I feel fine in myself, just very self conscious and worried about the impact on my bones etc. I do struggle to lift the cat seat now actually because my arms are so thin, I could do with having more strength

Consuming a lot of calories without eating too much volume wise - my favourites are peanut butter, cream, butter, cheese. Nuts and cheese are excellent snacks between meals because they are high calorie and yet don't damage your teeth.

In terms of the lack of strength, are you suffering from losing muscle too do you think? If so, add in some light strength training, just to maintain what you have for now, as you don't want to be using up too many precious calories.

How old is your baby? If over six months, really focus on getting food into them as much as you can to reduce milk demand. If you do decide to give up on BF, you could try combi feeding first if you wanted to. That way your baby still gets the immunity benefits etc from BF, and you get to regain some strength.

I was just the same - there was a thread on here years ago and it was around 50:50 between women who couldn’t lose baby weight until after stopping breastfeeding, and those who struggled to keep weight on.

Cake, my friend. Lots of cake.

I was asked by the midwife if I was eating chocolate. On being told I was eating a bar a day the response was ‘time to deploy a second bar, please’. If it’s any comfort, my weight went straight back to normal when DSs weaned.

I used to have to eat two portions of what I'd normally eat. I also used to eat a LOT of toast and peanut butter. Usually while feeding. (I remember having to pick crumbs out of dd's ear.)

I had the same problem after having hyperemesis in pregnancy. I had to eat none stop. The weight went back on after weaning so it was only temporary. As long as you are feeling well I wouldn't worry but if you are struggling for energy maybe ask your GP for advice. If your baby is only ten weeks you have a way to go but once they are on some solid food you'll need a bit less milk so it's a gradual process.

@Stegosauryes I am definitely suffering from a loss of muscle - i used to lift v light weights pre pregnancy but stopped when pregnant as I was so sick and haven't had a chance to get back to it. My understanding was that you have to be in a calorie surplus to build muscle? But maybe I should get back to it ASAP. Peanut butter features v heavily in my diet. Baby is only 10w so a while until I can wean. If I could just gain a couple of kg whilst breastfeeding and the rest once weaned I think i'd be happy.

@Dolphinnoisesthank you, that makes me feel less alone - so much discourse is around losing the baby weight and there isn't much about gaining. Cake is a staple of my diet at the moment! I suppose there is also a little bit of fat phobia in me if I am completely honest that I will get used to eating like this and not be able to stop once baby is weaned and gain 'too much'.

@DelurkingAJi definitely eat more than one choc bar a day 🙈good to know it is not only me who has struggled with this.

@postitnotomg I dropped mayo on baby last night when feeding him, he got a shock 🤣

@Bothythank you, I think i would like to restore a bit of weight now and then let it happen naturally once weaned. I can't imagine gaining 7kg whilst breastfeeding and what I would need to eat to do that! I feel a bit embarrassed about how much I have to eat atm - I guess that is societal pressure around women not eating as much as men etc

Ah I wasn't suggesting you try to gain muscle, just to avoid losing what you have. I don't think you need a calorie surplus for that.

@Stegosauroh good point, I hadn't even thought of that - thank you!

Having to eat 3000 calories + in a heatwave is a special kind of hell. There's only so much ice cream, potato salad and mayo that I can eat!

Sure someone else will have said, but make an appointmnet with the dentist to check your teeth!

I lost about a stone breastfeeding, despite eating loads of chocolate. I think my BMI might have been the same as yours at my lowest. I was delighted at first cause I had a skinny bum and hips for the first time ever and could wear a size 8. I was also walking everywhere with a pram cause I don’t drive. However, I did get to the point where I was a bit concerned and had a thyroid check which was fine.

After a few years the weight did go back on with interest. My first baby is now 19 and I’m a good stone and a half heavier

Perhaps not stuffing yourself with fruit and veg might be a good start

I got very thin breastfeeding both my first two babies. I looked skeletal by 9 months. First baby was on the move a lot and I just burned so much energy doing buggy walks to get them to nap. I just didn’t pay enough attention to my own health and eating as well.

my advice is ice cream! Avocados. Porridge with Nutella and bananas. Cream with anything. Lots of of eggs

@poinsetta2021yes I have one, making the most of free dental care whilst I can!

@DominoLover51thank you, that makes me feel less odd

@Perturbancewho said i was stuffing myself with fruit and veg? I am not suffering with anorexia now so I don't see how it is relevant, I am mentally the healthiest I have ever been and the variety of foods I am eating has never been bigger. I am eating 3000 calories per day but my metabolism appears to be on overdrive. Anorexic me could never

@Beachbeachbabythank you! I have eaten a lot of ice cream during this heatwave 😅 and I am doing my best with nuts, Bananas, Nutella etc added to overnight oats or full fat yogurt. It is reassuring to know i am not the only one who has struggled with this.

Op have have started number threads where you have confirmed a very long and serious history with anorexia and you even posted about suffering with disordered eating as recently as during your pregnancy.

@poinsetta2021Yes and the reason I can't keep weight on now is breastfeeding, not restriction. I was definitely worried about relapse during pregnancy as i know it can be common but thankfully it hasn't happened.

21 years of an eating disorder, severe anorexia.
threads throughout pregnancy about your disordered eating.

You referred yourself to an ED service when 6 months pregnant because your family was so worried about your weight loss

op, this isn’t healthy. And your denial on this thread indicates strongly that you would benefit from professional support urgently

@Perturbanceyes I was worried about weight loss due to sickness during pregnancy because, due to the many relapses I have suffered in the past, I thought it may be a trigger and wanted to get ahead of it just in case. As it happens, ED services didnt want to know because I was not actively unwell or suffering with disordered thoughts. Please stop derailing my thread

I can’t believe it has all come crashing down so quickly - the weight loss causes the thoughts which makes it harder to increase my intake. I do want to breastfeed and it is a worry so I think I need to address this sooner rather than later. I’ve chased the mental health referral a number of times, as has my midwife,

and now you say that no issue. This was earlier in the year when you were 6 months pregnant
I will leave you to it but I would urge you to get help.

Lots of cream and butter, you can put cream into everything you eat.

If you’ve had an ED you may have hyper metabolism which means you need to massively increase your calories, potentially up to 4000-5000 a day.