Breastfeeding and can't keep weight on

[firsttimepregnanthelp]

I know a lot of women struggle with baby weight but I am having the opposite problem. This is not a stealth brag at all - it is really getting me down.

I lost weight during pregnancy due to sickness and since having my baby 10 weeks ago appear to have lost more. I am now maintaining a BMI of 17.8 (20 point something pre pregnancy) and look awful. I found out my BMI today and it made me upset because i hadn't realised it was that low.
This hot weather makes me so self conscious because my arms and legs are so Skinny and I just want to cover up, and I am worried about the impact on my bones etc.

I am eating 2800 calories per day and eating a very balanced diet -6-7 portions of fruit and veg per day; meals including protein, carbs and fats and many snacks including fruit and yogurt, protein bars and (probably too much) ice cream, chocolate, cakes, biscuits etc but i am not gaining the weight I need to.

Obviously I need to increase my calories again but I already feel like I am eating SO MUCH and I am finding it quite a chore. In the early days I was ravenous so eating more wasn't so much of a problem but it is harder now. I've had dinner and am full but will need a significant number more calories this evening to reach my target. It is such hard work and defeating when the scales don't move.

Can anyone relate/empathise/advise?

@Perturbancethat was 6 months ago, things have changed

@Girliefriendlikespuppiesyes I did wonder about hypermetabolism. I think I may well have it

@icedpuddlesi think i'm thinking about it because I am aware I need to make even more changes because what I have done hasn't worked. You are right, maybe I need to let go a bit - i just thought tracking might make it easier to see what is/isn't working

I very much relate, it is hard to consistently eat more than you want.
Have you been to to the doctor as this doesn’t sound right, you only need about 600 calories a day extra when breastfeeding which is easily done if you add in a slice of cake and a couple of biscuits. 2,800 is tons (double what my iPhone tells me I need, though not currently bf.)

@Minasamayes, the doctor just said I need to eat more - had a thyroid test done alongside other bloods and all was normal. I am now eating 3000 calories which has been a big effort. I do wonder if i have hypermetabolism as mentioned elsewhere in the thread but others have also said they struggled to eat enough whilst breastfeeding so maybe some of us are just more sensitive to it? Who knows

Kindly, I don’t think it’s remotely possible that you’ve suddenly snapped out of severely ED thoughts in the space of 6 months. I say that as someone with my own history and a long true recovery. I would focus on getting support and not using breastfeeding as an excuse to keep losing weight.

I am not, hence posting here for support and increasing to 3000 calories. Kindly, you don't know me. My baby is a huge protective factor

Breastfeeding only increases calorie needs by max 500-700 a day (For most). I’d see another doctor as it sounds like something else may be going on.

This is in response to @user1464279374

You use about an extra 500 cals a day when BF- at the early stages. So not a massive amount but yes some ice creams right now are good if you don’t want to loose weight :)

https://kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-calories-fluids/

im glad you had your thyroid check. BF doesn’t burn that many calories you loose tons of weight, like yes it can help but it wouldn’t make sense evolutionary wise if it did it in a dangerous way.

I feel for you. I think you might be on to something with the strength/bone thing too, one of the most protective thing for bones is to ensure muscle health it's why strength training is recommended especially for older women.
In terms of nutrition, it also sounds like your intuition is on to something about your metabolism not being quite right may also be true. Just because your blood results are "normal" doesn't mean that they are optimal! This especially applies for women in stages of life like menarche, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and menopause.
Calorie counting is wildly unreliable, especially if you have a history of an eating disorder. It's not unusual for those putting on weight to be eating 4500 calories, 20% either way of 2800 calories can be the difference between losing weight over a month or gaining it. So it might be best to ditch calorie counting altogether and focus on a plan, ideally put together by a nutritionist. Are you able to access any resources like that, I know your baby is tiny but it might help you get a plan together?
Lastly, from a practical point of view, you need to prioritise fat, then protein then carbs (which obviously includes fruit and veg). A slow cooker full fat beef mince chili with sour cream, cheese and a baked potato and butter. Flaked salmon with cream cheese (eat the skin if it agrees with you). scrambled eggs with full fat cheese and the drinks that are aimed at older people who need to put on weight too are quick-ish to prepare and might help? However you feel about your ED now, there are few better placed to help put on weight than the resources you might have accessed before, I suggest seeing if you are able to, they are delighted to help in the recovery process good luck to you and your baby.

You should go back to your GP or eating disorder team and push for support and monitoring. If you are not able to advocate for yourself then do you have a family member who can do it on your behalf - maybe your partner or parents? If you are eating that amount of calories and not gaining weight then that suggests a medical issue that should be investigated.

More generally, and as someone who struggles to maintain my weight whilst breastfeeding but without a history of disordered eating - don't worry about if what you are eating is healthy or not, you literally just need calories that are palatable to you. I eat pretty normally during the day, balanced meals, don't really snack, water to drink etc but after the children are in bed I will have a big calorific snack. Reading advice about how to gain weight I see a lot of "eat more high fat snacks such as nuts". Personally, if the choice is between having a bowl of nuts and not eating anything then I just won't eat anything. For me I can always eat chocolate so I have a family sized bar of dairy milk every night, always after the children are in bed. If I am too tired for even that then I'll have a glass of full fat milk (a milkshake like one of those frijj ones would be even better but we don't get those where I live).

Oh another thing (probably more relevant for when your little one is older) we eat as a family but I put the TV on because if I'm worrying about the children and what they're doing then I won't eat. With the TV on they will sit quietly and eat and that lets me do the same.

It's not ideal because eating a family sized bar of chocolate every evening isn't healthy but I'll take that over losing weight which, knowing myself, is the alternative. In the future when I don't need the extra calories I'll cut it out.

For anyone who is interested i found this article on breastfeeding requirements useful https://postpartumu.com/research/?mcp_token=eyJwaWQiOjcwOTQwMSwic2lkIjo4Mzg2MDYwOTIsImF4IjoiNTBhNWIwNGYxMjBjYWYyMjBjNTYxZDcxYmJiNjY1OTIiLCJ0cyI6MTc4MjU1MTA4OCwiZXhwIjoxNzg0OTcwMjg4fQ.sHF4udSx4zqs7Y9-k5cWZfIOIFlcUjVz3MwVyjW_kQE&fbclid=PAT01DUASscYNleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA81NjcwNjczNDMzNTI0MjcAAadNtsQSoV2hRQcfrtMIBwthBZzUmH1BCXrMxetv7r0ygWLg1FpO9EDfPrPPvA_aem_F7JBY2n2ihBixGdOiJPynw

Oh I eat plenty of chocolate- yesterday I had an ice cream, kit Kat chunky, wispa, dairy milk, choc chip cake, choc chip brioche, choc digestive. Bf says i eat too much sugar which is probs true but I enjoy it and it's an easy way to get calories in around meals.

I was on your thread during pregnancy whereby anorexia had got you once again in a grip again. I am so sorry to see that it’s still got you in its grip. Please seek help. Your family will be worried as they were before.

@Warmnothotplease read my earlier messages.
. I turned things around and sm eating 3000 calories per day. That is not consistent wirh anorexic behaviour

As I say I was on your other thread. More than 2 decades of the hell of anorexia op. Last posting in a desperate state less than 6 months ago, whilst pregnant back in its grip.

and now… this.

I think this should be moved to Mental Health.

i will report to HQ

Perhaps try some Ensure drinks OP - they’re full of protein, vitamins and calories to support weight gain.

@Warmnothotpregnancy was a very anxious time for me. I am now postpartum and things have changed. Who do you think you are reporting my post? You don't know me.

@oliviaAustinthank you, I was thinking last night that liquid calories may be the way forward. I think ensure has to be prescribed? But I think Boots do similar so I will have a look there

You can buy Ensure without a prescription… Boots sell it. Deliveroo has it listed. Sainsburys, Amazon. It’s just an enriched drink not a medication.

You can buy ensure, but it's expensive. I have aymes and it's an easy 600kcal per small bottle. A couple of those a day (plus other food) maintain my weight.

I haven't got any suggestions but I remember when I was BF I lost a couple of pounds every time I got on the scales it was crazy!!

I would imagine you’d get ensure on prescription if only as recently as the beginning of the year you were spiralling back in to a 20 year fight with anorexia @firsttimepregnanthelp and your medical notes are presumably very full of your history.

@Pockettthanks, that would be handy as these nutrition drinks are expensive - i got some Build Up yesterday and it is a nice easy way to get the calories in

@JellyofftheplateI've never heard of that but will have a Google, thanks!

Smoothies that you make with protein powder, peanut butter, whole milk and ice. Have these along side your meals as a drink.
They feel light but are full of calories.

Add cheese and butter to your dishes.

Pastries such as all butter croissants can be as high as 300 cal each.

If you have a coffee make it with milk no water.

These are all the things I have to avoid that make me put on weight so they might help you gain