Breastfeeding and can't keep weight on

[firsttimepregnanthelp]

I know a lot of women struggle with baby weight but I am having the opposite problem. This is not a stealth brag at all - it is really getting me down.

I lost weight during pregnancy due to sickness and since having my baby 10 weeks ago appear to have lost more. I am now maintaining a BMI of 17.8 (20 point something pre pregnancy) and look awful. I found out my BMI today and it made me upset because i hadn't realised it was that low.
This hot weather makes me so self conscious because my arms and legs are so Skinny and I just want to cover up, and I am worried about the impact on my bones etc.

I am eating 2800 calories per day and eating a very balanced diet -6-7 portions of fruit and veg per day; meals including protein, carbs and fats and many snacks including fruit and yogurt, protein bars and (probably too much) ice cream, chocolate, cakes, biscuits etc but i am not gaining the weight I need to.

Obviously I need to increase my calories again but I already feel like I am eating SO MUCH and I am finding it quite a chore. In the early days I was ravenous so eating more wasn't so much of a problem but it is harder now. I've had dinner and am full but will need a significant number more calories this evening to reach my target. It is such hard work and defeating when the scales don't move.

Can anyone relate/empathise/advise?

I had this problem too, struggled between 5 and 6 stone for years (breastfed both to age 3).

I just ate LOTS of cake, chocolate and crisps and drank coke every day to try to maintain it.

Same happened to me around this stage post partum but give it another 2-4 months and you will be fine. It won’t be forever, just another phase. Just enjoy eating whatever you want and I think it was good advice to focus on calorie
dense foods that aren’t big in volume like nuts!

@BeSunnyLemonSheep@sandyalloverthank you, you are making me feel like less of a freak! So weird how some women struggle to get the weight off post pregnancy whereas we can't keep it on. I am looking forward to when I can start to wean so I don't have to worry about this tbh. My friend took a pic of me yesterday and I look terrible ☹️

But you’ll need to be honest with them about fact that that you aren’t gaining. With a 20 year history of anorexia and most recently as a few months ago spiralling back in it - they will prob want to talk to you

@Pockettthat would be fine, my GP is aware of my history and v supportive

Book an app on Monday
maybe take your partner too

I struggled with my weight after my first baby. He was big and hungry. When he was 3 weeks, I weighed 117 pounds (I’m 5’9). I had more milk than I knew what to do with, I think all of my calorific expenditure was going there.

My lovely health visitor obviously thought I was too thin as my red book has lots of notes she’d written in regarding having two breakfasts and calorific snacks. I felt and looked fine tbh. I started regular weight training when he was 4 months, and I didn’t get any thinner.

@PockettGP saw me at 6 week check and did the ED referral when I was pregnant which was rejected so a phone appointment will be fine. I am sure he won't have a problem with helping me in this way

Have you told your partner that you’re not putting on weight?

It was losing weight in pregnancy that set you off on the descent again

@Pocketthe can see with his eyes and we talk about it.

I have not 'descended'. I am sick of people on this thread making assumptions. It is possible to recognise a relapse and stop it in its tracks which is what I have done. My current difficulties with weight gain are related to breastfeeding, not anorexia

I had this and started really upping my protein. That did help and then I started on the Halva which also helped

I am saying that you did descend a few months ago after you lost weight

so surely reasonable question?

Op, you’re not being honest with yourself or with people on here. This is all part of your ED, the talking about it and telling us that you are eating ‘so much food’ etc and still losing. You need help for yours and your baby’s sake. I hope you get help.

People should be aware that posting to talk in the way OP is, is very common with people with ED to add to the high they get from losing weight, whilst saying they feel and look bad. Blaming breastfeeding for losing weight is really common, as is being vegetarian or vegan, they are all ways of excusing weight loss. My cousin did exactly the same and her therapist said it was really common.

@Pockettnot if you read my many other comments addressing this

@ExplodingSmittensthank you, I do focus a lot on getting enough protein and my partner is someone who doesnt believe a meal is a meal without some form of meat so that helps!

hopefully the OP’s family will be aware of this development. They were very worried a few months ago so I imagine they are aware now.

@CantSeeYoui am not vegetarian nor vegan, I am eating 3000 calories per day. I am getting no high from losing weight - i do not have body dysmorprhia and can see how awful i look. I am actively trying to help myself, hence this thread. Stop judging me by your cousin's behaviour. You are not an expert on anorexia or my life thanks

Book the GP app

all the best

Heads up future posters… read the comments… there’s more to this

I’m not saying you are vege or vegan, I’m saying those are also things that are used as reasons to lose weight and ‘justify’ it. You are doing the same with breastfeeding which is common in people with ED. They also often breastfeed for an extended time so they can blame the breastfeeding for not maintaining or gaining weight.

@Pockettmy family agree that i need to gain weight but they are actually very pleased and reassured by my current attitude towards food which is the best it has ever b33n3. My boyfriend now does the food shopping and cooking so I have no control over that anymore, and he eats very little during the day so meals are large. We spend a lot of time together and they see my regular snacking. My mum says she also struggled to keep weight on when breastfeeding.

Agree. People are not helping with stories of weight loss being normal and breastfeeding using up so many calories. Breastfeeding does not explain someone losing weight on 3000 calories a day. An eating disorder explains it.

OP needs more professional help than she is getting. I hope you can be honest with professionals OP.

@CantSeeYouif you read my post you will see that I have considered stopping breastfeeding because of its impact on my body so that does not apply to me. Stop tarring me with the same brush as others. Not all people who have had anorexia are the same

@CantSeeYoui was MAINTAINING my weight at 2800 and am now on 3000. I have not weighed myself yet to see if that has resulted in an increase.

Yet you haven’t stopped, because you know you need breastfeeding as the excuse to be losing weight and being underweight.

Sorry, but I’ve seen this far too often and know what I’m seeing here.

I really, really hope you start to be honest and get the help you need to be well.

I had the problem of needing to keep my weight up whilst breastfeeding, albeit over 30 years ago. I have never been anorexic.

I used to eat a normal breakfast, lunch and dinner, but then had a meal replacement shake (Complan) as a mid morning and/or afternoon drink.

@CantSeeYouyou may have experience with other people at a different stage of recovery. I actively fear relapse, hence posting on here now and before for support. People who have suffered with anorexia are industry, not a homogeneous group. Not sure what is so difficult to understand about that.

@ohmypooreyesthank you, that is my plan with the Build Up/Ensure drinks