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DS10 repeatedly getting called a fat fuck at school.

111 replies

JudithsDead · 18/06/2026 16:26

DS is 10 and in year 5. There is a boy in his year, not class, who clearly has a lot of behavioural problems although he seems a bright articulate boy from my interactions with him over the years. He has come from quite a chaotic background and I’m not sure of any diagnoses he has.

He has either one or two teachers at arms length at all times. He has taken recently to calling my son a fat fuck whenever he sees him. He shouts “you lanky fat fuck” or variations of several times a day whenever he’s sees my son in corridors/canteen/playground. Often there is also a threat I’m going to get you/kill you/destroy you, watch out type of thing. My son is a fairly resilient cheerful type with lots of friends but it does get him down. He has body anxieties anyway as he is carrying extra weight, he’s very very tall (158cm) with size 8 feet and is just generally built like a shit house and he’s not technically very overweight but he’s just big. So it feeds into that and it’s just draining him a bit as it’s constant. If he says anything back he gets told by this boys 1-2-1s that he’s not allowed to engage with him.

He never sees these 1-2-1s castigate this boy for anything he says, obviously we don’t know what else goes on. He says they’ve all been generally told this boy has different needs and to ignore anything nasty he says.

I spoke to the dep head last week as it was getting too much and they were both called in, this boy was made to promise not to name call again which he agreed to. This hasn’t worked as the same things are happening again. He was called a lanky fat fuck again today and when he didn’t respond was taunted “are you going to run and tell mummy again”. The 1-2-1 was there and didn’t say anything.

I have put another call into the school - is there anything else I can do other than be a bit of a squeaky wheel and just keep on at the school?

OP posts:
Candleabra · 28/09/2026 08:56

The head teacher cried? That’s some serious deflection and doesn’t bode well for her ability to deal with this… I’d be very worried indeed.

Sorry you’re going through this, it sounds awful. Is removing your son from the school an option? (I know it’ll should have to be but the bullying and lack of effective staff leadership is a big concern)

EmpressStorm · 28/09/2026 08:59

likelysuspect · 28/09/2026 08:55

Not sure why people are incredulous that the head cried. I'd cry if I were her, you think OP is the only parent marching up there to raise issues about this boy? I bet her hands are tied and they cant get him out so she is just as frustrated as everyone else. She's a human being trying to do a job, which is to teach children, and she has this child on her hands ruining that for everyone else, teachers, kids and himself and cant really do anything about it.

Im sure she has already told SEN that she cant meet need but perhaps the LA is pushing back. Wouldnt surprise me

The whole thing is a mess for kids like this.

Many of us have tough jobs, it’s whay we are paid for, like she is. We don’t sit and weep in front of the client.

DreamyRedNewt · 28/09/2026 09:00

FernFaery · 18/06/2026 18:35

It’s easy to eye roll but the number of obese children is genuinely horrific. If she can row it back now, surely that’s better than letting him get very fat then end up on the WLI threads here?

It really doesn't matter and not the point of the thread. Even if he was obese, the behaviour of the other kid is awful and her child shouldn't have to tolerate it, that's the point of the thread.

Or are you saying that if he is fat he deserves to be called all sorts of names?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

dairydebris · 28/09/2026 09:03

I take a different view on this.

The bully child has clearly got serious behavioral issues that the leadership team cannot sort. I'm also assuming that the bar for excluding this child hasnt been met.

So, unless you can move your child to a different school, I think you need to focus on teaching your boy to deal with this bully by working on not letting the comments get to him. As in old fashioned Sticks and Stones may break my bones etc...

Teach him what a stupid insult 'lanky Fat Fuck' is. Make sure he understands he is not fat, hes big and strong and healthy and who cares what this little idiot says. Being called a fat fuck will not actually hurt him at all. Its just words. Teach him to ignore the teeth stuff, or have a come back such as 'I can get a brace but you'll always be a total ××××'

Basically work with you son on the way he feels most comfortable dealing with this weasley bully, ignoring, verbal responses etc. But teach him to cope with it, rather than hoping for it to stop. Because it might be outside of the school capabilities to stop it.

I know lots will disagree with this, so sorry to those people.

movinghomeadvice · 28/09/2026 09:11

MCF86 · 18/06/2026 18:46

in my experience , it took until a member of staff ended up with a black eye and a chunk of hair missing (from an attack witnessed by a class of 7 year olds) for a child to get excluded.The child in question clearly needed more than the school were in a position to provide and other kids were regularly witnessing things that would raise a safeguarding concern for them if they said they saw it at home.

It is horrendous.

Yes, this has also been my experience in teaching. It takes a full blown assault for anything to actually happen, and even then that’s sometimes not enough.

OP, I really feel for you. Go nuclear with the leadership. Your DS deserves to feel safe at school. Just realise that they probably wont do anything. Are you in a position to change schools? I realise it would be incredibly disruptive and not fair that your DS has to suffer. However, in my experience it won’t change and the only thing you can do it get him out of them. I will keep my feelings about inclusion to myself on this thread, because they are not popular, but it breaks my heart when one (or more!) students suffer from the horrendous behaviour of another student.

Crispautumnday · 28/09/2026 11:48

Undertheeaves · 20/06/2026 07:20

Seriously, weight freaks, listen. OP's kid could be morbidly obese and it WOULD NOT MATTER. The point of this thread is that he is being bullied repeatedly and nothing was being done about it. It does not matter what you think about his weight. Stop victim blaming and think about why you feel the need to focus on that instead of the actual issue.

If she, or any other poster, wants weight advice, they can start a thread about that and you can pontificate all you like about BMIs.

Good luck OP, your son sounds lovely and I'm glad the depute head seemed to listen. Keep on at the school. It's not acceptable.

Exactly!!!

I was very obese for a year or so after a heavy dose of steroids completely altered my body shape and face. It was utterly sobering realising that some people think it is totally ok to yell nasty abuse at fat people. I was still the same kind, loving, funny, thoughtful person I was when I was slim.

It's never ok to yell insults at someone.

Crazybigtoe · 28/09/2026 13:23

I'd move your son.

This type of consistent bullying is soul destroying. It happened to my son and it still impacts him. We toughed it out to start with but absolutely nothing changed- the school are toothless....a crying head is truly pathetic. Action. Not tears.

Avoid the bully's secondary school too if you can. Alert the new secondary school of previous issues and ensure that are separated.

Balloonhearts · 28/09/2026 13:30

Not very bright is he? I mean is he lanky or fat?

I'd tell your son to hit him back. Hit him hard, aim for cartilage and fuck who's watching. They had their chance to deal with this. Why should your son put up with being insulted and hit on a daily basis? People can only take so much and kids literally have killed themselves over this shit.

Candleabra · 28/09/2026 13:50

working on not letting the comments get to him.

See, I know it’s the right thing to say that they’re only words. But words DO hurt, and especially if they’re reinforced every day. Horrible words stay with you in a way that’s hard to explain, and they’re always in your head. Especially if it’s about something that you’re a bit self conscious about to start with. Your son’s bully knows how much those words will hurt and uses them as a weapon.

likelysuspect · 28/09/2026 18:11

EmpressStorm · 28/09/2026 08:59

Many of us have tough jobs, it’s whay we are paid for, like she is. We don’t sit and weep in front of the client.

Im a professional in front line work and Ive cried in front of clients before with empathy for their situation. Theres nothing to be ashamed of for that. Ive cried in court when giving evidence at times. Our jobs are often traumatising.

BobbleBear · 28/09/2026 18:37

FernFaery · 18/06/2026 18:32

He’s not going to be a large man he’s going to be a fat man, OP. And that’s not ok. It leads to diabetes, heart failure and some cancers. Don’t set your child up for a life of that because you’re in denial.

Oh give over. You’re talking out of your backside.

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