The thing I most fucking hate about parenting young children

[Rollitsndpatit]

Up before 6. Every single day. 517 today.

And no MN, I can’t just put CBeebies on and doze, I’ve been kicked in the head, belly and arms. No, they ignore Gro Clocks. No, I can’t just put them to bed later.

I know I’m going to get a lot of ‘well I just don’t tolerate this’ but that’s not my life unfortunately

My older two were early risers. Now teens, one sleeps till lunchtime and one is still up at 5.30.

The only thing that made any difference was in the summer, black out blinds with black out curtains over the top for the gaps. Blinds in the hall and bathroom too. Basically, making the entire upstairs completely dark until 7 so there wasn't too much 3am creep...

This too shall pass, but fuck it's hard.

Opted out of parenting a loooong time ago. I’ve accepted I’m solo on this exhausting journey.

I'm beyond it now but remember it well. Dh and i did 2 shifts. One on early duty and one starting around 8, alternating days. We both found we preferred the early shift because horrific as it was, bed at 8am awaited and then we were off the clock all morning. On rising, Ds was shoved in front of tv and wasn't too demanding for the first hour, so we just sat in zombie like state and half ignored him then got breakfast etc and wished the next 3 hours away. The 8am shift person needed to be full on, high energy and bring DS outside rain or shine so it was worse. Often the 8am person would go back for an afternoon nap. Yes it seems ridiculous but it was our only way of coping with severe sleep deprivation all week. Ds was difficult to settle and woke during the night too so weekend naps or lie ins were what kept us functioning. We had no life. Younger 2 weren't as bad, still exhausting at 6 or 6 30 but that's very different from 4.30 or 5.

All teens or pre teens now. All still in bed. And no, being awake worrying about a teen is not the same as a hyper creature jumping on your face at 5am. Nothing is as tough as a bad sleeper.

@Rollitsndpatiti work with kids your eldest age and they absolutely can do all those things, they just pretend they can't cos they want you to do it. In my preschool if a kid spills something they have to clean it up themselves, they can all pour liquid easily and control dry items, like pouring cereal into a bowl. Every single one of them can do it unless there is SEN. I'd put money he just wants you there, which is fair enough from his perspective but not ok for you. If you can summon the energy I think its worth really pushing this, offering rewards for not waking you or threats if necessary.

I’m sure but still leaves me with the youngest and like I say I’m not totally sure I’d feel very comfortable having him downstairs for the best part of two hours on his own.

My sympathies, many of us have been there.

Eldest daughter has never been a particularly early riser and gro clock worked.

Now meet youngest daughter, she was up early and also rarely slept right through.

I tried gro clock with her, she kind of used it but not as the manufacturer intended.

I would be woken by the bedroom door opening, even sometimes at 2am. A little figure, carrying a stuffed toy, would inform me that the owl was asleep then climb into bed and either settle back down to sleep, which was fine, or proceed to involve me in a conversation with her and the stuffed toy.

Solidarity, my 2 year old started at 4:40 today🙃 never been a good sleeper but at least in the winter its still dark outside so she can be persuaded to go back to sleep, now it’s very much well the sun is up so she is up!

I hate having to get up constantly. Just leave meeee to sit down for more than 3 minutes.

Also feel you with the early morning wakes, he actually tends to wake earlier the later he goes to bed! No alternating as I've been solo parenting for 9 months now But he is a such a joy that I very quickly forgive him!

I had a rule that anything 6am onwards was fair game but when the day started with a 5 it was horrific.

Ours were doing their own breakfast from quite young. I poured out little jugs of milk and left them accessible in the fridge. But while you have a 2 year old who can't get herself out of bed that is not much help.

Sleep deprivation full stop. It’s the worst part of parenting young children.

Flashback time. None of mine were sleepers and would regularly get up at 4.30 to creep downstairs and put the TV on.

They are now having children of their own and I am being sympathetic about the baby keeping them awake all night...

Totally. It turns you into a different person. It is absolutely nothing like being hungover, or staying up late at the weekend. The chronic nature of it going on for years has basically had a dementia like effect on my brain.

What?

Are you separated?

Not yet.

Oh...sorry. 😔

Mine were good in the mornings - up around 7ish.

The thing I most hated was clearing up sick.

This is just the one thing I could never do. I won't function before 7am 😂

Well then separate and at least then you should get EOW and school hols to lay in as they will be with with the NRP !

Same! All the other babies just slept! The mums were chatting about the tv and movies they watch at “nap time”. I just wanted her to stay asleep long enough for me to pee!

The game changer here was when she learned to read. Which was luckily fairly early, and by the end of YR she was hooked on stories. No toys would occupy her in the early morning, but a large store of Rainbow Fairies and Enid Blytons gained us a good hour or so. I used to buy all the right age books in the 20p basket in the charity shop in bundles.

Solidarity OP, it’ll end, but it is torture while it lasts!

Mine are all pretty grown now. The baby and toddler years are definitely the worse for tiredness. Although, having to get up on your days off earlier than your own work day to take them to work is also a nightmare… something to look forward to 😆

In all seriousness the thing that sleep deprivation stole from me, above everything else, was the ability to change things - to make decisions and follow through on them.

Appreciate he is no practical day to day use but would he do one single overnight? Go away to a cheap hotel and spend 24 hours alone. Sleep, read. You'll feel like you've turned back into yourself.

I’m with you OP. My toddler wakes anytime from 5am-7am and nearly always wakes me out of a deep sleep screaming on me to come and get him and it’s so, so disorientating. And he’s not one to chill it’s full go mode of demanding breakfast and the rest when I can barely open my eyes.

Surely at that age they are old enough to be told to entertain themselves quietly in their rooms and under no circumstances to disturb you before 7am?