The thing I most fucking hate about parenting young children

[Rollitsndpatit]

Up before 6. Every single day. 517 today.

And no MN, I can’t just put CBeebies on and doze, I’ve been kicked in the head, belly and arms. No, they ignore Gro Clocks. No, I can’t just put them to bed later.

I know I’m going to get a lot of ‘well I just don’t tolerate this’ but that’s not my life unfortunately

I’m there with you. I have a 7 and 3 year old, and despite both of them being fairly good sleepers and babies and toddlers, have become more and more wakeful as they've got older (surely that’s the wrong way round?!) and have never really grown out of the early wake ups, even the oldest one.

It’s an absolute fucking killer and I’ve calculated I’m now on morning 2300 of being up at 6am.

It isn’t even the early wake up as much the need to be completely mentally switched ON the second I open my eyes. Being climbed on, nagged for breakfast, ‘where is this/that toy’ and of course both of them bloody fighting. It’s an awful sensory bombardment when you are ragged with exhaustion and it’s awful.

Solidarity OP, mine used to get up 4.30/5 - when DD was small she used to get up and ask if we could do crafts - so we'd create a masterpiece at 5am with paint and glitter, then I had to go to work all day - god the days were soooo long....shes nearly 12 now and doesnt get up till 8 :)

Yep my oldest DD is 8 and has always been up at 5am. Haven't slept well since before 2018 and now my DD aged 3 likes to wake up 3 times a night and start the day at 5am too 😴

I am amazed at these children who would just do that, honestly,

My DD is on the cusp of turning three and won’t even get out of bed herself. Every morning I’m still woken to ‘muuuuuuummy … muuuuuuuummy!’

My older child is now five and a half and while he would go downstairs himself he can’t work the TV and he can’t reach the cereal / toaster etc. if I left breakfast out for him (I don’t think I would feel totally comfortable with that, tbh) he’d still come up every two minutes to tell me he’d spilled the juice / finished his breakfast / can I have more toast etc,

Mine is 8 now and won’t be alone at all. But he has ADHD and is an anxious kid so I just have to roll with it.

Solidarity OP. I’ll raise you baby twins and a toddler and not enough money for childcare so we worked shifts (including nights) around each other. I was a walking shell of a woman. I used to look forward to the 20 minute bus part of my journey to work as it was the only me time I had in the day.

I don’t know how you managed. Are things better now?

I sympathise. Early risers are no fun.

But, I’ll trump you. The worse thing about having fucking children is that fucking child could be disabled then they never grow up for you to have your independence/lie in back. I’m 24 years in so far, can’t remember what a fecking lie in feels like.

No, I would agree with that but in fairness I did say ‘parenting young children.’ I think in terms of parenting in general and without wishing to sound crass, that’s really what everybody dreads.

Solidarity OP. Mine are cave-dwelling teenagers now but they were both awful sleepers as babies and toddlers. I hated that relentless, clingy stage where they needed constant entertainment while I was completely exhausted. Although I missed it so much that I went and got a horde of kittens last year, so now get licked awake multiple times through the night by cats hoping that it's finally breakfast time 🙄

I think any patience I had has been used up. I can’t imagine having a pet again.

Absolutely is. You note I said ONE morning!

OMG I remember the plaintive wail of " Is it morning yet?"

It sounds like you are doing it alone too. So hats off to you.
At least with the 3 year old she can just stay in bed wailing.

I can’t ignore it. I’m not sure I believe anyone would ignore a crying child (although some probably would.)

We always had to be up early for work/nursery/school etc (my alarm is set for 4.45am through the week) so my kids never really learned to sleep in at the weekend! They do now they are in their teens - we won't see them until after 10am today.
The biggest kick in the teeth is that years of being up at the crack of a sparrows fart has affected our body clock to the point that both me and my husband wake up naturally between 4.30 and 5.30am every day, weekend or not 🤯
I have been caring for a sick elderly relative who was very concerned that 'us young'uns' don't wake early and they may need the toilet, I was up and about doing jobs for a good hour or so before they even started stirring for the day😆
There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel, teenagers generally sleep very late given the opportunity - it is just unfortunate that you probably won't be able to sleep in by then anyway!

I do naturally wake early. So I thought I’d be fine with kids doing it.

Turns out there’s a big difference between lying in bed scrolling your phone and toddlers elbowing you in every part of your body!

Absolutely! I never thought that parenting small people would mostly involved looking after tired children whilst tired. I never understood why we all couldn’t have had enough sleep.

YANBU
Mine wake early and at same time whether they go to bed at 6:30 or 10:30!
I haven’t needed an alarm for the last 5 years.
Cant imagine what it would be like to have to wake your kids up in the morning!

Sending solidarity. Mine used to be like that. Dd especially, it took bloody hours of hand holding to get her to go to sleep then she'd be up at bloody 4.30 like a duracel bunny. She was a nightmare and I was so tired. We would cycle through all the shit tv channels and all their dvds because it just just before Netflix and online streaming. And they used to have at least 3 breakfasts.

They are teens and do sleep in more, although dd will often still be up before me on weekdays, fully dressed and ready to go.

It's a nightmare, isn't it? Nothing at all worked during those early-waking years for us - we just had to ride them out.

I remember the Christmas holidays after our son turned 6 and my husband and I were still asleep at 9am or something - son came in and asked why we were still in bed and I said we were making up for 6 years of lost sleep. Don't think he realised that it correlated with his age though 😁

The day they get up, grab some breakfast and then watch some cartoons - all safely - until you’re up is not far off. Courage my friend!!

Make believe play at 630am anybody?

OP, my 5yo got up and went downstairs independently for the first time ever this morning! Hallelujah! I praised her greatly for this and hope she’ll now start doing this. 7yo does this consistently by now. He’ll turn on the cartoons on for himself on a weekend morning. Point being, it’ll change sooner than the teenage years! However, I absolutely get you. And I still find parenting hard work. Right now I feel like a major step would be for the 5yo become totally independent in the toilet. Now I still have to get up and interrupt what I’m doing whenever she needs to go. Which is usually right when I settle into relaxing or doing something. But that’s how I find it is - small steps mean a lot of ease on the parenting workload.

Why are you doing this on your own? Where is your partner? If there are two parents you should be sharing the load.