Explain your job like you're talking to a 4 year old

[Cryingatthegym]

Tonight my 4 year old asked me what I do for work. I told him I help people fix problems with their homes.

What would you tell my 4 year old you do? And can anyone guess what I do for a living?!

D.i.y? Handyman/woman?

If teenagers have bad days at school they come and see me but im not a teacher.

Not even warm sorry!

A school counsellor?

I mean sometimes I have to talk to customers like they are 4 years old because they can’t grasp basic policy’s…

More or less yes!

Adult Social Care occupational therapist?

I put on my clown mask…

My 4 yo described my job as 'you help people who didn't have mummies and daddies that loved them'.

And no, not currently a SW or therapist.

Dearest 4 year old, my job sucks, people are thankless, corporations are greedy, they lie to me about bonuses and I'm supposed to smile and be grateful for pizza days instead of increased pay. Marry rich or get a career, if you can find one that's not overtaken by AI, which means you can be the jerk and not the pile of shit downhill - Love, Mum

I tell people what to do and how to do it. I make this as exciting, supportive and as hands on as I can. I support them and show them and correct them and show them again and again and again and again speaking to them positively and calmly. Then they ask what they need to do and why or sometimes what the date is. I normally point to the big date clock in the corner or on their iPad. Most if not all will end up at university on a good course.

I tell one of our emergency services where to go and spend a lot of time being shouted at on the phone.
I don’t recommend it, it’s a bit tricky and people are generally idiots and I include colleagues in that statement.

My job was literally talking to four year olds all day.

Are you something like environmental health for the local council or a surveyor to assess damage?

I buy stuff and then make sure it's working the way the supplier promised it would. But the stuff doesn't usually do exactly what we wanted it to, mainly because we didn't know what we actually needed.

I design anything under the sky

I mean the same explanation I use for adults, I predict when people will die (not secretly a mass murderer).

I help to spot baddies, make sure we don't help them spend their money and sometimes report them to the police.

I look after people who clean in a hospital. And who cook food for patients. And I make sure the patients’ beds are clean with nice sheets and also make sure they have fluffy(ish) towels. I also make sure no spiders ants or wasps are allowed to survive in our buildings, and I have very kind people who keep the windows clean.

Actuary?

Yep.

Health statistician?

I draw buildings on huge bits of paper and add giant water slides and tree houses so we can all enjoy living in them or going to school in them
Sometimes I get to colour them in too 🥳

Retired now, but I used to make sure the machines that make electricity don't melt and make a hole through the world to Australia.