Am I overthinking this?

[pinenuts75]

Online dating been messaging someone only since Friday all nice normal chat, today he asks to swap numbers I agreed, he asked what am I doing tonight I told him make something to eat, shower and have an early night, he’s messaged back, sounds nice I was going to ask to join you but you would probably kick me, I mean we have been messaging for 3 days haven’t even met, and he has turned it sexual, is this just normal these days?

No idea, but it would put me off.
Surely someone who was serious about finding something serious and enduring would not behave like that after a couple of days?

This one sounds like he may be just after some fleeting fun. Be careful.

Yes it has put me off too, shame as I thought he was ok, told me he has a good job a scientist at university, he travels a lot.

I’m glad I’m not dating, I would be constantly disappointed. I thought you were going to say that his reply was that it was a shame you needed an early night as he was going to invite you out for dinner. How daft am I?

Keep looking. There must be some men out there who are prepared to put effort in, even some who don’t want to have sex until they’ve got to know someone. Maybe.

I’m losing hope, I just seem to attract sex pests

Is it easy to look at other women’s OLD profiles to see if some have found a way of putting off that type of man before the messaging even begins?

I don’t blame you for losing hope. From reading about OLD here it seems hard work and often a tedious waste of time.

I’m really not sure I haven’t thought about doing that, the thing is he started off fine, as soon as we moved to WhatsApp it was like it gave him the green light to see how I would react.

I had this, I was sent unsolicited dick pics, asked to go to a sex club with graphic description of what he wanted to happen (this was after asking what I was making for tea, zero sexual chat) I was asked to join a throuple it was awful and I honestly thought about leaving the sites. I shut down all the overly sexual messages and blocked/reported the users.
Then I messaged DP and he was so lovely and just “normal” not a sex pest in any way and actually wanted to get to know me as a person not a sex object.

I just don’t seem to attract nice normal men, or they are all taken.

I would give him the benefit of the doubt.
Once. But only once.

Well at least it quickly weeds out the crappy ones so you’re not wasting any more time than necessary. It’s only been 4 days and already he’s showing his true intent, I’d dump and move on.

Just feel fed up, you think at last I may have found a good one but no, I thought as well because he has a good job he might be different, unless it’s not his job of course.

You can’t ever know if they’re a good one just from messaging. We all get this type of man. Block and move on. It’s a numbers game and you have to be resilient.
Come and join the dating thread, you’ll get advice from people dating at the moment and it’s really helpful.

Where is the dating thread?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5532861-the-dating-thread-58-will-you-swoon-in-june?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I haven’t done OLD for a few years but yes I think it’s quite common to come in with the sex chat quite early on. There must be women who are into it I suppose but each time I felt like they saw women as free wank fodder. I wouldn’t even bother replying if I were you. Thankfully some men do have basic social skills and can hold a conversation instead of just their cock