Is it normal to feel sad after ending a good relationship?

[roses6]

So I was dating this guy for around 6 months. For various reasons and a lot of thinking, I realised that it wasn’t going to work long-term and we broke up over the weekend.

It was the first time I’ve had to do that. I’ve only ever had a 3/4 month relationship before and have dated a few guys but nothing serious.

I wasn’t expecting to but I found the whole thing so emotional. I couldn’t stop crying with him because he’s a good guy, he’s been so kind to me, we’ve had a nice time together… but just long term we aren’t compatible (and he also agreed with this). It was really nice getting to say “goodbye” as we both care for the other. We also agreed to check in with each other in about a month, as I really was a bit of a mess with him.

I know I won’t feel like this forever, and it’s only been a few days, but is it normal to feel sad? To question whether I made the right decision? To think about him and wonder if he’s ok?

Would be grateful for any advice or any online resources I can read that would help me navigate this unknown territory 😔

No advice OP but better you ended it now rather than later!

Well in addition to lack of cleaning, he had digestive issues but wouldn’t go to the GP, snored very loudly, he was lazy (and admitted this)… we also only saw each other at the weekends really and never during the week.

But a really nice guy and we had a very emotional goodbye / closure moment which is why I think I’m just feeling a bit raw at the moment.

I’m not saying that’s what she should do. Absolutely not! I was just curious as to how hard he was prepared to fight for the relationship and whether it would change anything, but it doesn’t sound like he is (or was). So she’s absolutely made the right call 👍

why is my brain suddenly remembering only the good things about him and not the reasons why I called it off 🤦🏼‍♀️

I am sorry to come back to this, but I feel like I need to watch a motivational YouTube video or something that’ll get me to stop feeling sorry for myself! Any ideas?

Well op you know like you said there were other issues and someone with less emotional intelligence would not bat an eye at these differences - you see it on here all the time actually where you get oh but I thought he would change etc so you know you are avoiding major future aggravation

Funnily enough he said I was very emotionally intelligent!

what has surprised me is that you have let it go on as long as you have

Well I’ve learnt my lesson now! It’s painful!

How are you feeling now op?

I like Sabrina Zohar on facebook. Lots of no nonsense straight talking advice.

You mentioned feeling worse after a couple of drinks. Although it might feel like a coping mechanism, pouring alcohol on an emotional bonfire isn’t going to help. I’ve not had a drink since we split last month; I don’t trust myself not to make poor decisions like drunk-texting! That, together with all the exercise, is helping with my “revenge body”… mates all saying that single life suits me! 🤣

Your ex’s bathroom bin sounds grim. Great that you’re starting to realise that he’s not this amazing prince amongst men. Write an ick list and study it frequently. I’m at 37 on mine already. I know my ex is actually a wonderful human being but reminding myself that he doesn’t vote and is scared of heights helps to see him as a flawed individual.

Honestly, still rubbish. I’ve written down a list of reasons on my phone for why we broke up.

But I miss that emotional connection, I miss having him there to message. The worst part is well is that I brought this on myself. I know it’s for the best, but it just sucks right now.

I feel for you. Been there. For me, I had to end a relationship years ago because of his terrible habits. He was a drug-user and work shy!
it broke me for a while, but it was the right decision. He went on to become a full-blown heroin addict.
It’s just so hard when you miss that connection. You had your reasons, so remind yourself of them x

He wasn’t a drug user but I do think he secretly drank quite a lot by himself.

Urgh, another morning where I have woken up, totally miserable but also completely exhausted.

See how you feel about it all in a week or so. Let us know how you get on x