If your are 70/80 plus what would your advice about life be to your younger late 40s/50 year old self be ?

[Getmystuffsorted]

So saw this video this am, saying make a date with your 80 year old self and ask her all the thing she wish she had done when she was 50

what are you going to do with your one wild and beautiful life ? Type of thing

only trouble is
how can I ask my 80 year old self
what I should do now
because I don’t have the wisdom yet ??

sorry maybe I’m seeing this from an adhd point pov too much but
I don’t get it

so if your older please tell me what you’d tell your younger self

and surely everything is a risk etc
because there was a lot of comments saying they wished they moved
wish they lived to Greece wish they moved to the sea side etc
yet
they don’t know how that dream life would have turned out anyway

My biggest regret in life is that I let myself be defined by other people.

I wish I had accepted myself for who I am and valued myself. If I had done that then I wouldn't have been inhibited by lack of confidence and lack of self esteem and I would have made better decisions.

Thanks for your reply, but like in what way old yojngove me an example of what you mean ? Was it like worry about what your parents through you're career should be ?

I was talking about a general attitude to life. That having the self confidence to do things and know you have the ability to do things gives you the freedom to make the most of your life.

My father in his 80s would say get really fit and look after your health. What you do in your 40s/50s/60s makes a huge difference to how you age.

He’s in great shape.

What do you think you would have done if you had more confidence
If you don't me asking

See I do actually get that

I wouud have stood up to my parents.

I wouldn't have been sucked into a basically abusive relationship and marriage with my first DH which has had long lasting repercussions..

I would have made a proper career for myself rather than allowing the difficulties in my personal life to sabotage it.

I am currently seeing people (daughters not sons!) in their 50s: 60s running themselves ragged looking after selfish elderly parents.
A friend aged 70 is tomorrow having possibly life changing eye surgery. She has dedicated the last 10 years to her very demanding mother who refused any other carers. She has never been able to spend even night away.
She us so tearful and regretting that she didn’t insist on other carers sharing the burden 10 years ago. The selfish mother is only concerned that the daughter will be incapacitated for the weeks of recovery no concern at all for her daughter.
Please don’t be that daughter.

My MIL died last year (in early 80s) and was is absolutely terrible physical shape for about 30 years brought on by never doing any exercise and just sitting about.... This then meant she had no strength, balance or mobility for the last 10 years of her life. At 75 she tripped, fell flat on her face, broke her shoulder and hip and the blow to her head resulted in acceleration of some sort of mental decline. She never fully recovered from this accident and fell again, breaking the other arm..... In hospital she caught COVID and sepsis. Recovered but not completely, fell in hospital then spent the last 10 years of her life in a care home.

So...... Look after your health!! Weights are good for women in their 40s , exercise which makes you breathless a few times a week and balance exercises will do us all the world of good when we are older.

It been said already, but health is paramount. Many people give up, they stop moving and don’t maintain their muscle/bone density. The good news is vast improvements can be made at any age. I’ve seen people in their 80’s build muscle and I’ll improve their strength. It’s amazing what the human body is capable of, even when we’re elderly. The key is never to give up.

I'm not quite that old but one thing I really wish I'd done was to get fit and healthy. I was always overweight and it just seemed impossible. Now that I've used weight loss injections I've lost the weight and still need to get fit. Doing it when I was younger would have made a huge difference to my life.

If possible, build up a good group of friends, too. You will need them when you go through menopause and then later when you retire.

Don't waste your money. Throw as much as you can at your mortgage, debts and savings. Really monitor where every penny goes until saving is automatic.

@EvelynBeatrice definatly keep moving fit and strong .
However I know someone who barely moves ! In a flat ,no stairs always drives and smokes and drinks very moderately is at least 85 and he's in great shape

I’m not 70 or 80 yet but at the age I am now 63 I would tell my younger self to eat well, sleep well and generally take care of yourself
maintain a healthy weight as this will help you maintain your mobility in later life
Live your life - don’t put things off
Embrace the joy of living
don’t give in to the idea that you have enough of anything to last the rest of your life e.g shoes, bags etc I do but if you see something that will give you even a moment’s pleasure then go for it

@NeededANameChangeAnyway was she happy at least in her nursing home ?

I’m 50 and was mourning my 30 year old body shape earlier while trying on clothes in a shop. It then struck me that in 20 years I’d be doing exactly the same for the body I have now and jolted me right back into perspective.

my Parents walk their 10k steps every day and are mid 70s. I intend doing the same

@cheeseomelette I know what you mean. There's a great saying 'You'll never be as young again as you are today'. Appreciate every moment whilst you can.

I'm not quite 70 but I would say -
Work on any issues/hang ups/fears you have now. If you don't address them they will stay with you. If you wait until you're 70 to deal with them you'll kick yourself for not doing it when you were 30.

See a podiatrist this week. So many problems in later life are caused by poor gait over the years. Sort your gait early on and save yourself a myriad of foot, knee, hip and back problems in later life.

Don't waste time worrying. If the worst happens in any situation you'll deal with it. The worst doesn't happen in most situations.

Don’t let people bully you and stick up for yourself more! Also, put more money than you think you need to into your pension!!!

I'm 48 but echo the exercise thing - my ILs have always exercised, my folks haven't (though my mum has a chronic illness so hasn't been able to exercise for most of her life now) and it's clear my ILs are doing better than my parents in their 70s, even though they're 2 or 3 years older.

I'm early 60s and I would say live for today. Don't waste time worrying about what may or may not happen. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Do things that you enjoy and make you feel happy.

Don't fritter your money on stuff. Really no one cares. All very well saying go and live your life but it's impossible to do much without funds to support you. Think about what you really want out of life and plan how you are going to get it. Find something you enjoy and get really good at it. Spending half an hour a day perfecting a skill will pay off.
Don't worry so much, things have a way of working out. Most of the things that keep you awake at night won't happen.

Nice thread. I agree ☝️ weights to build muscle and strength and exercises to improve flexibility. I do 3 X weight sessions a week but must start Pilates or similar. I think eating well is other wise advice. Saying yes to things that make you happy and making the effort with close friends

Treat your body well,Don’t smoke or drink over the limit ever.Healthy diet paying attention to your every day diet,live on fruit and veg with variety and ensure your BMI is correct.Exercise ,hobbies,friendships are so important.Easy to say I will do it tomorrow.Have ambition in relationships or work try and find some positives which can be hard.i

I love these kinds of topics, marking to come back later

I’m not that old, but I’d say just learn from your mistakes, get over them and enjoy life. 👍

Do what keeps you happy and forget the nonsense. . 😉