If your are 70/80 plus what would your advice about life be to your younger late 40s/50 year old self be ?

[Getmystuffsorted]

So saw this video this am, saying make a date with your 80 year old self and ask her all the thing she wish she had done when she was 50

what are you going to do with your one wild and beautiful life ? Type of thing

only trouble is
how can I ask my 80 year old self
what I should do now
because I don’t have the wisdom yet ??

sorry maybe I’m seeing this from an adhd point pov too much but
I don’t get it

so if your older please tell me what you’d tell your younger self

and surely everything is a risk etc
because there was a lot of comments saying they wished they moved
wish they lived to Greece wish they moved to the sea side etc
yet
they don’t know how that dream life would have turned out anyway

Move to a smaller house before it’s too late.

Look after your health and fitness. Once you lose mobility, you become dependent on others. You need to maintain your independence for as long as possible. I'm late fifties and this is what I'm focusing on now.

I'm 50 soon and the advise I'd give myself I already do !
Don't smoke
Don't drink to much alcohol
Avoid the sun
Keep moving moving moving any kind of activity where u are moving will benefit !!
Don't keep worrying about what u look like no one else cares their too busy with what they look like lol
Please yourself and stay positive and be kind always or (calm lol if u can't b kind )
Life is so short try and enjoy it I'm thinking about learning a new language this summer and I might also try paddle Boarding!!!

I’m 70, my husband is almost 80. I would tell my younger self:

Don’t think you have plenty of time to do the things you want. Do them now, or at least work towards making them happen

Don’t let fear stop you doing anything

Cherish your friends, and get shot of anyone who doesn’t make you feel good about yourself

That dreadful, embarrassing thing that just happened/comment you made? Forget it immediately. Everyone else has. Honestly, if that is to be the worst thing that ever happens to you, you’re doing great

I am very friendly with my lovely 84 year old neighbour. I drop in to her twice a week for a coffee and a chat and funnily enough this was one thing I asked her not so long ago.

Her reply was to 'move it, or lose it' so basically stay active. She goes for 30 minute walks several times a week no matter what the weather outside.

She also eats 'everything in moderation' but is careful not ever to overdo it and overindulge too much. But she loves a drop of wine occasionally and eats a little chocolate everyday.

Taking care of your health, watching your weight, and being careful of what you eat has meant she is a very fit and healthy, slim, capable and independent woman.

She also said never to put things off waiting for 'tomorrow' or waiting for 'the right time' because tomorrow, or the right time, may never come.

She also mentioned embracing the life you have, travel, enjoy and try new experiences and keep broadening your horizons and learning new things. Even now she pushes herself to try things that she has never done before, even small silly things like ordering a matcha.

She keeps her mind active by puzzling, and reading every day.

To me she is inspirational and she makes me want to embrace and enjoy the life I have and I have tried to take on board much of the things she tells me and the lessons she tries to teach me.

Honestly? I don't think so. She refused to move closer to any family which meant everyone was between 80-150 miles from any her so she only saw us once a month or less. The fall impacted her cognitive function so she couldn't follow TV or read newspapers which was her main hobby. Looking at her in her final years had a huge impact on me and I've gone on a diet, gone to the gym and started doing sudoku!!

Edited for spelling!

Mine would be

Don't hold grudges. The only person being hurt is you.

Avoid the news. What will be will be. Worrying about the state of the world will not solve it's problems. Mind your own garden.

Be kind. What you put out in the world will make it's way back to you.

Everything in moderation. Wether that's diet, exercise, grieving, or joy. The middle path is always preferable.

And finally, have that dessert.

I'm only 63 but this is what I already feel like telling 40-year-old me (or even 30-year-old me):

Hey, you know how time speeds up as you get older? What that means is that the several decades between now and your old age will pass in a flash. You as an old woman will feel like yourself as you are now. Not another species, just you, five minutes down the line.

Move to a smaller house before it’s too late. I'm so fed up of older relatives saying "We'll know when the time is right to downsize/get care organised" and then they dont realise they are at that stage! It seems a crisis has to occur to allow decisions to be made, and then choices are limited.

I wish my father would have taken this advice. He's bloody lame, never looked after his legs when he was younger 🙄

I will be 68 this year..
You have less time ahead than you think...but more than enough time to love people well... take care of your health... learn new things... and enjoy being alive. Don't rush through these years waiting for the next stage. This is the stage!
At 50...small daily habits still have power..... Do regular exercise... and get enough sleep...staying socially active and keeping up with preventive healthcare often matter more than interventions later.
The people who matter won't always be around. A phone call..a visit...forgivenes... expressing appreciation, and making time for loved ones became more important to me than a career.. l was and still am a single parent even though my children are adults and mums themselves.. have blessed me with Grandkids.. l worked and enjoyed what l did.. in one particular job.. ( two others jobs were just to earn a wage.. )
I did keep myself healthy .. not smoking .. l only drink on holiday so thats half a larger about 10 times per year.. l went dancing every weekend.. walked every where.. swam ( still swim) went to the gym.. until 12 years ago when l had an accident and broke both hips and pelvis...
Also developed PCOS and endometriosis young ( had total hysterectomy age 38).. now have osteoarthritis and Fibromyalgia.. spinal surgery this August.. New hips starting next year.. so take care of your body and mind.. and be kind to yourself and other people.♥️

Sweet post. I’m in my 30a but OP you mentioned that you do not have wisdom.

The number 1 lesson I’ve trained my kids is that you have an inner voice - it’s your gut, it’s your instinct - some call it God - but that inner voice is your wisdom. Learn to listen to that.

Reading this thread is a reminder that my inner voice is a guide. For example sometimes I tell myself I need to excercise as I started getting knee pains. Sometimes I get an urge to call a friend or have a coffee with them. Sometimes I want to pick up a new hobby and I do that.

Plan for the future, but live in the moment. As I still need to work and build the life I want.

Sometimes I don’t know if I trust that inner voice - so I phone a friend. And I’m grateful for the patient and honest people in my life.

This thread has really lifted me. Thank you to everyone who has contributed.

So far . . .

Look after your teeth. If you've been doing this anyway, do it some more. Stay active, run up and down stairs - and remember, use it or lose it. And use it a lot.

Ten holidays a year is an excellent goal to aim for 😁

This reminds me of the Pam Ayres poem:
'I wish I'd looked after me teeth.'

Leave that relationship, you should have done it years ago and reclaimed your sanity.
Look after your teeth and general health
Ignore the bullshit
Hold your children and grandchildren close, they may leave your life one day.

I'm 60 and three years ago I decided I didn't want to be fat anymore ( I became obese through steroids and a bereavement). I wish I had done it at forty. It took two years to put six stone on and three to take it off. I spent nearly twenty years feeling embarrassed. I now have fab clothes and I eat exactly what I want. I watched carers struggle with my late father as he was so big.
I stopped drinking. I fall of the wagon occasionally but in general I'm a non drinker and look 10/15 years younger than my age. Don't waste time not knowing what you said or might have done.
Wear your good clothes daily. Other than occasion wear put your best toggs on. You know know who you might meet.

Don't allow people to bully you. It effects your mental health. Call it out always.
Buy good food. Fresh fruit and vegetables that you can afford.

Love those who love you.

Yes - there’s an element of luck isn’t there.

As per PP, don’t save anything for best when you’re over 50! Drove me mad that my MIL kept her nice jewellery in the attic and wore costume. Nice for the granddaughters to have now I suppose but I’d have liked to see MIL enjoy it while she was here!!

Loose your excess weight now, look after your teeth, walk, do balance exercises, keep abreast of current affairs, don’t talk about yourself all the time!!!

Yes the joys of retirement.. 6 abroad for a week at a time and four small breaks in the UK.

You will probably want or need to change career before you retire. Retraining will be a worthwhile investment. It may seem undoable but honestly, looking back the cost/time invested will feel much smaller than it does looking forwards.

If you are unhappy for any reason (relationship, your body, where you live, job, whatever) do whatever you need to do to change things. However drastic. Everyone will be better off as a result.

40s/50s is the time for mothers to throw everything at their career, for their self-esteem and for the money to fund a good retirement and old-age.