Do you have “rules” for yourself or “non-negotiables”? How disciplined are you?

[Redballer]

I only have two rules that I can think of but would like more because my habits are awful, I lack discipline and probably undiagnosed ADHD that means my executive function is off.

1. Wash face, brush teeth, moisturize every night without fail.

1. Get out of bed by 8am on weekends.

The second one has come from the fact that now my kids are older and can sort themselves of a morning, I was finding I could still be in bed, on my phone, at 11:30am.

Maybe I’ve got more but they’re not jumping out right now or they are subconscious.

Anyway, looking for inspiration on what habits or mini rules you have for yourself that are constructive and make you feel good.

I don't know if they are non negotiables tbh, but i definitely am in the habit of never skipping oral hygiene or any basic hygiene.

Other than that not really. I don't really drink alcohol these days but if I am out and offered a glass of champagne, I will take it. I try and walk as much as possible and rarely drive anywhere but again, if I need to or just want to, I will drive

I think some people are particularly sweaty though and will need to air for longer.

Wash face in morning, SPF no matter the weather. Skincare at night.

Brush teeth and mouthwash twice a day, floss at least once.

Gym minimum 3 x a week. Pilates minimum twice a week.

Fast food/takeaway maximum once a month. Coffee or healthy eating out not included.

I can't help but feel either: everyone has more rules than they think about consciously, or it's because I'm autistic and chronically ill that my entire life is run on sets of rules like a computer program.
e.g.
I wake up at 7am. This never changes, doesn't matter if I've changed timezones/had insomnia/whatever.
I have to take medicine at several set times throughout the day and I have to eat at set times. Isn't this normal to some extent? I also have a set bed time (if I go later my chronic fatigue will not be thanking me).

You'll have rules around what you eat - I'm vegetarian, low FODMAP, some allergies. You might be never eat strawberry jam, never eat sweetcorn with peas, I don't know. But you will have rules, they're just normal...

Or things like the volume on the TV must be either an even number or a multiple of five (not one I do personally, but I've come across it quite a lot).

Everyday ingrained habits:

Open the windows as soon as I wake up
Leave the bed covers “undone” to air them out
Put a laundry load on
Scoop the cat litter
Vacuum whip round (the cats leave litter and fur everywhere overnight)
Brush my teeth
Shower
Emollient on whole body
Lighter anti ageing / spf moisturiser on face
Make the bed
Oats & Berries
Sometime later, hang the laundry out

Things I wish were non negotiable but can never stick to for long:

Half an hour doing yoga, strength training, dancing, or an hour of walking
Drinking water throughout the day
Avoiding bread and sugar
Flossing my teeth before bed
Not staying up after midnight

Well it is all relative isn't it - I'd rather take my chances with the mites etc than with my mental health looking at an unmade bed!

It's made the minute I get out of it, unless my husband is still in it, in which case it's made as soon as he gets out.

I ‘make’ my bed by folding the duvet back to air the mattress, and straighten the pillows. The duvet is only up when I’m in the bed.

I don’t drink alcohol. That’s not like a punishing myself sort of rule. I just don’t.

Always wear SPF 50.

I drink at least 1 litre of water every day. I usually drink more. I definitely drink more than 2 litres including tea, herbal tea, other drinks. But at least a litre is tap water.

I’m up every morning by 7:30am. This is because I have to take medication in a complicated order starting from 7/7:30am, so no choice, always must be up starting the day by then.

I do not tolerate foolishness. I am the opposite of a people pleaser. I say no to stuff. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. Life is too short.

I try to do Pilates and have a walk every day; I think I may need to get a smart watch tho because I was going to aim for 20000 steps a day; went for a 20 minute walk the other day and afterwards my phone declared I had done 21 steps all day!
I also try for at least five a day; my daughter and I meet up in the evenings and compare, we usually both get to at least 5.
The other thing is not to spend the evenings doom scrolling so I imagine someone asking me next day what I did last night and I need to have something else to say, even if it's just that I vacuumed the sitting room.

Loads 🙄

Some of these are great and I’m going to think about stealing some - max 2 biscuits and phone downstairs overnight are good ones.

And yes there are some things that require zero thought or discipline such as showering every morning or cleaning teeth every morning but pre-kids I often would just go to bed without washing face/brushing teeth. There are still some nights where I CBA but always always force myself to.

Its not quite a non-negotiable rule but my to do list is on Google doc and underneath the ‘to-do’ part I have a done list. It’s all mixed together with work and home jobs, and I add things to the done list as I do them, under the current day so I can see what I’ve done today and if I scroll down I can see what I’ve been doing in previous weeks and months. Every now and then I go through it and colour code it - blue for work, red for stuff just for me (for fun) and black for everything else.

I’ve been keeping this for years, I got the idea from an Oliver Burkeman book. A to do list is quite a depressing thing, because however many things you cross off it doesn’t get any shorter and you don’t feel like you’ve achieved anything. So keeping up with my ‘done list’ is a sort of rule.

I need some rules now my DD is at uni and my dog has passed away! My routine has gone out the window.

My rules or non negotiables are:
Change bed with ironed bed linen only. My luxury.
Don't buy anything unless I have the money for it.
Buy second hand things as much as possible.

I don't have any rules for myself. I've not got any willpower. I do brush my teeth at least twice a day without fail and brush my hair every day because I can't stand the feeling of dirty teeth or knotty hair. I was my face twice a day 95% of the time but it's something I can easily forget if routine is knocked. Always moisturise my face after washing it otherwise it feels really dry.

I have a rule about always saying yes to invitations unless I have a good reason not to.

I also have a rule about walking away from conflict on social media. If someone is being annoying and I choose not to waste my time engaging with them, I 'reward' myself with a small donation to an organisation that has an actual platform.

My Duolingo streak is non-negotiable.

No drunk texting.
No alcohol after midnight.
Eye cream and hand cream nightly.

Not rules as such, but a few routines for me are to get my clothes out for the next day when I go to bed, and in the morning to take out the recycling and brush the kitchen floor.

They’re not particularly ground-breaking, but help me feel that I get the day off to a relaxed and productive start.

Don't eat after 6 pm.

Duolingo. My streak is far too high to lose.

At least a few minutes gardening every day unless I am away. Check for greenfly, do some watering, pull up a few weeds, sweep up leaves in the winter. It not only makes me feel grounded but it also keeps the garden tidy and healthy.

10 or 15 minutes of exercises each day, usually before breakfast.

Ooh an alcohol curfew is a good one. Increasingly my hangovers are just awful and I wish I’d had less to drink. I don’t even drink that much - probably every few weeks when seeing friends but any more than half a bottle of wine and he next day is a write off.

Love this stern talking to. I borrowed it this morning and ran further than I’d done in years. Every time I thought about stopping or walking I thought “you’re here now, may as well do it / it’s only X mins of your life / you’ve done this much you may as well do a bit more”. So thank you for this tip!!

No rules. Lots of things i try to do but am flexible if I can’t. Rules just seem restrictive to me snd I find it strange when people have rules they never break. Like people who run three times a week and never, ever waiver from that..

Can you tell me more about the positive self talk please? I definitely need some tips about this…

Oppositional brain! Is this a thing? I think I have it… a To Do List is a kiss of death for me - that thing is never getting done if it’s on a list….

marking place