What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

My mum never grew tired of repeating the tale of how she'd been visiting my then-husband and me and offered to buy us all a takeaway one evening so that I wouldn't have to cook. She reckoned up the amount from the menu and gave my husband £30 to pay for it (this was in 1994, £30 was typical for a Chinese takeaway for four adults). When it had been delivered, my husband said to my mother, "Oh, by the way, you didn't give me quite enough money. You owe me 4p."

I should have LTB then. He didn't get any better, and the eventual divorce cost me a fortune.

I just think it's a really nasty, selfish attitude.
Someone else bought that dress in good faith, or the shop realised it was worn, so lost the money. Greedy and entitled.

If it helps I’d rather on occasion go to nice places and pay more to cover my friends if it’s my choice than go to somewhere not so nice or have them worry about it. You sound lovely especially as you make up for it in other ways. Please don’t feel guilty!

But as i said, after the first time you knew she would charge and accepted anyway, you cant accept her terms and then moan about them afterwards. Walk instead!

Asked if we could have the refund on the deposit for a birthday party if the birthday person (in perfectly good health) died before the evening.

I have a friend who brings half used opened things to parties. For example, half a bottle of wine, which she makes clear is just for her, and keeps by her feet. Nothing for the host.

Went out for a meal with dh and a couple of his relatives. The bill came to £80 for the 4 of us.

We put in £45 to cover our half and a tip.

They said you don't need to leave a tip and put in £35.

I was gobsmacked. I waited till we were ready to leave and left an extra fiver then so the waiter actually got a bit of a tip.

We've never gone out for a meal with them since.

I’m sure she’s infuriating but the elephant thing and wig thing made me laugh out loud, I bet she’s hilarious to observe 😆

Yeah agree. I’ve been chronically skint before and it’s exhausting and I could only ever pay for myself - hope no one thought I was stingy for being ungenerous

One ex who asked me if I wanted a new teabag for my brew or if he could just re-use his and another who I watched in disbelief as he took a frozen supermarket pizza out of the freezer, sawed it in half and then put half back in so that he could make two meals with the one half...

I've posted about this before.

We are a group of four best friends. Have been so since we were 11. We are 35+ years on from that and still friends.

One of the friends got married, and the (notoriously) stingiest one gave our friend a half opened/drunk bottle of wine as a wedding present.

I obviously still can't believe it and when challenged she looked unbothered because "it was a nice bottle of wine and didn't want it to go to waste".

House share at uni. 7 of us. Only 1 had a car. Everyone took turns to buy toilet roll for the shared bathroom. Everyone would buy a big pack (32 rolls?) and carry it the 20 mins walk to the house along with other shopping.
Everyone but the person with the car, who would buy a pack of 4 toilet rolls when it was their turn and never offered anyone a lift to the supermarket or asked if anyone had any bigger/heavier items they would like them to pick up.

Friends invited me and DH to their wedding; a two day affair meaning 3 nights in a hotel about 500 miles away. Spent about £1000 in all.

At the reception in a restaurant they handed round the bill so we could each pay for what we ordered. Pretty sure I paid more to attend their wedding than they did.

That's not stingy ! it makes sense.

Omg!!

she was actually just going to help herself to a turkey that was your kids Christmas dinner.

The brass neck in her!!!

what a horrible,sour, selfish little thief.

A friend/ex colleague is tight

She pleads poverty all the time but is on more money than I am and she hates spending on anyone but herself

I noticed that everytime we went for a coffee,she would make a beeline for the loo or hang right back so you'd end up at the counter before her

I put up with this for ages as im a soft touch (am becoming firmer as I get older)

Anyway,one day ds had come to stay with us for a week and she'd asked to go for a coffee as shes very fond of him and is convinced he,as a 26 year old man fancies her even though shes touching 60 and hes a married father

She marched into the expensive coffee shop and dived into the loos

Ds said to me 'watch this' and sat down without ordering anything

We waited about 10 minutes before she came back out and he turned to her with a massive smile

'Your turn to buy the coffees lynne,mum and I have shouted you loads over the last 5 years'

Her face!

She did cough up but you could tell this was killing her and she spent the rest of the afternoon moaning about how expensive coffee in a cafe is (tell me about it-her favourite cafe is almost £6 for a latte)

'Oddly' she never asked to meet up with him again and I only go for one about once a year with her as I cant be arsed playing the game

My brother, tight as a drum. We visit them as he doesnt want to drive the 50 miles to visit us.
We usually go out for a meal, which we pay for, as the invitation usually coincides with his or SiL's birthday stay overnight- no breakfast as they dont eat it. We hop off early so we can get some brunch on the way home.

Last time we visited on a non-special day, as we had been unable to go on his birthday, though we sent a very nice hamper with his favourite tipple and snacks . We were only able to visit for the afternoon, and said we'd eat before coming- oh no, he says, lets go out for a late lunch.

Payment time, he quickly said -shall we split the bill? I was so embarrassed that he would suggest splitting, when he had asked us out for lunch, that I said no worries, its on us! He immediately agreed, even though SiL looked mortified.

My DP was stunned, and we've joked about it ever since- every meal /coffee/ drink we go out on we always ask -shall we split? (our finances are completely joint, all fun money comes off the same account)

A friend once picked our left over bread from sandwiches and removed the filling, saying she would make bread and butter pudding with them.

(owns several houses and isn’t short of a bob or two!)

My Gran, bless her, used to save, iron, fold and re-use wrapping paper.
For years and years. Just one of her things...

I had a friend for a few years that would turn up to a social gathering with the cheapest bottle of plonk, neck all of the best stuff, and if nobody had touched her bottle of gutrot would pop it in her bag and take it home with her.

Someone I used to work with brought three large flasks into work each day and filled them with boiled water before he left. To avoid the cost of boiling his kettle at home!

I suppose all families are different, my dad is old school and a very proud man and would never take so much as 1p from me and my sister far less the cost of a headstone. I paid for a cinema ticket for him once and I thought he was going to spontaneously combust 😂

In terms of a funeral costs tend to be the executor/next of kin I thought and if the next of kin pays they’d get money back from any estate. I thought Mr 2 Houses standing with his hand out was quite distasteful if I’m honest, but he’s also just that kind of person, night and day to my own dad.

Agree
Christmas cards and wrapping paper after Christmas 😊
that’s just savvy

now you know why he lived alone …

I hope you knocked on the door and demanded the chops back!!

We weren’t going to ask dad. He was in no fit state to do anything after mum died. so much so we arranged everything ourselves and paid for it

Grief affects people differently and he passed very soon after. Her death broke him
It would never have occurred to me to hand him the bill or even think he was in the right headspace to be able to think about money.

On other stuff he’d sneak up to pay for every meal in a restaurant etc

As you say
Every family is different