What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

When my youngest daughter started at university she got a rude awakening. She shared a flat with five other girls. Not only did they appear unaware that the dishes wouldn't wash themselves and empty packets left on the worktop wouldn't make their own way to the bin, they helped themselves freely to her food. Her oldest sister visited and suggested mixing hot sriracha half and half with tomato ketchup, labelling it with her own name and DO NOT USE, and putting it in the cupboard.

I wish I could report that this cured the problem, but unfortunately DD's flatmates couldn't make the leap from "Jemima's tomato ketchup will ruin your fish finger butties and take the skin off your mouth" to "leave Jemima's food alone".

(I realise that this isn't stinginess, it's just studentishness.)

I don't think this kind of behaviour is always money related/stingy.

I find portions absolutely huge when eating out. Also often I'm not hungry but will have something just to be polite.

So wouldn't be unusual for me to order the smallest item on the menu, or ask to split a starter, even if it is just some squid or similar. I don't want to be rude by not ordering anything, but also, I hate food waste, so wouldn't want to order something I'm barely going to touch. Often ask staff not to bother bringing the sides etc unless my companion volunteers to eat them.

I'd feel more mortified leaving lots of food on the plate than sharing, and in fact share very regularly, almost any starter or dessert would be a sharer. There's no shame in eating just the amount you feel hungry for and not more.

If I place a very small order, eg £10 worth of food and drink in a place where usual spend may be £25, I just give a 100% tip or similar.

But again, why? Why are you such wet lettuces that you let someone you're supposedly 'very close to' treat you repeatedly like idiots? I can't believe that normal adults would just stand passively by and let a greedy, mannerless supposed friend whom they were hosting help herself to a plastic box of enough food to provide herself with a week's worth of lunches, before other people had eaten. I mean, how is it you continue to consider her a 'close friend'?

Is this a weird British cultural tic? I don't know anyone who would do this.

I agree LowPower. I wouldn’t stand for that downright disrespect.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

I'm not a wet lettuce & def not an idiot I just don't see any need to pull my friend up on it. It's not doing any hard to me or the others & if there wasn't enough food I'd have no problem calling her out but it's not something I can get worked up about. Because we're a close group we're like family so why would we stop her doing what make her happy? It's just one of hr 'isms' that we all accept about her & so why stop it? Accepting our friend for the person she is, stingey or not, doesn't make us push overs or idiots.