What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

Your family seem like lovely people.

I had a colleague who would charge her personal devices at work everyday to save electricity at home.

Wasn't the best was it!

First day of second year at university. Was in halls again. DP came to ask me if I'd opened the pack of fruit he'd bought and put in our cupboard in the communal kitchen. I hadn't. Turned out it was a new student but we decided he hadn't known food kept there wasn't communal so we let it go.

Very soon the other three people with whom shared the kitchen grouped together with us to buy milk and biscuits to share. Not only that, but I befriended a group of local-ish students who only stayed a couple of days each week and were moved around the campus each time, and they ended up using our kitchen as a base too, and would also add to supplies. All but the aforementioned lad who would take our food and drink but never provide. He would regularly half fill a pint jug with milk to take to his room to make drinks for two friends. It was ridiculous!

I had words, which he didn't appreciate so he started to avoid me, whilst still using our stuff. He did, at the instigation of his girlfriend, buy one bottle of milk when she came to stay but that was it.

Slightly different situation here but a very good friend, M, is in a senior position at a city firm. M is always incredibly busy and does not have much free time, he is always on calls to and from work and understandably wants to spend his weekend in activities or gatherings with his family/friends. Another friend's BF (now ex!) was asking M for many weeks to meet as he needed financial advice. He said it wouldn't work as a phone call, it needed to be in person, had to be one to one only, there was some confidential paperwork to show etc. M offered many alternatives, zoom, phone, but eventually agreed to a Sunday morning coffee, which meant missing some weekend sports with his daughters. This 'meeting' took over 2 hours and it turned out the chap didn't actually want any advice, just wanted M to join and invest in some weird mlm type scheme! Offer was politely declined...

And the CF didn't even pay for the coffees 🤣

I used to work with a woman whose husband flew a lot on business. And at that time all the alcohol on flights was free. He'd always ask for a couple of extra shots of something - all in tiddly little 1 ounce bottles. And a couple of extra servings of wine - again in those little tiny bottles. He'd pack it all in his carry on and take it home with him.

Then if they were invited out someplace they would take these little bottles of stuff instead of buying normal bottles of wine etc like is normal to do. They could fit a number of bottles into her handbag and just take out enough for them so as to not share, even with the hosts.

A friend at my senior school used to sell chocolate bars. She was heard on a few occasions to chase people for the money they owed and I heard her say "got my 1p?"!!!!

It was posted and explained very clearly, you are the one with severe reading comprehension.

My BIL is extremely stingy but only with us and my late PIL. With SILs family he likes to show how generous he is.
So we have been charged for meals at their house, expected to pay for everyone’s takeaways, they will order loads of food their children don’t eat and then split the bill etc.
DHs family all have trades (except him) and BIL won’t do any work, I mean tiny jobs, for anyone because ‘he won’t get paid for it’. Then complains whole family won’t do massive jobs for him for free.He left his MIL with an issue for years, fixed it the week she died because he was selling the house.
He almost never sends gifts for our DC, for theirs we used to be sent lists! DH said he wouldn’t play these games and has continued to be generous with his children. He was sending his children some treat money on PayPal and accidentally sent it by goods and services and BIL sent a massive ranting email about how he would have to explain to his children it was £1.20 short. DH sent it separately and never sent money again.

But again, why did you sit there like you’d been struck mute? Say ‘We’re splitting this! Like 50/50’ or just order more food? That’s fully as mystifying as your university friend’s behaviour.

You’re lovely. What a decent human being comment.

Its sad you father lives so miserably, especially when he has the money,not too. I don't know anyone thats likes to be cold . Is that how he got to be a millionaire, being so tight with money?...You can't spend money in heaven

This is reminding me of my grandad talking about his bil, Uncle Albert. Grandad said Uncle Albert always switched his windscreen wipers/lights off if he was going under a bridge but i was never sure if that was true.
However the 4 of them did have a holiday at Pontins (their wives were sisters) and Uncle Albert had gone to the shop there to buy a pack of 10 brillo pads - which he tipped out and counted to make sure there were 10 before he ever paid for them. I think he was quite rich too....but of a recurring theme on this thread

We often used to go away as a group when we were younger. One of the group always used to offer to book trains, flights or hotels. Then we realised that he always divided the cost between the rest of us so he got his share for free.

Then once we went to a wedding that his mum also happened to be at and we realised where he got it from. She took a big shopping bag up to the buffet with her and brazenly filled it with food 😂

A lot of posters seem accepting of this behaviour. Joey doesn't share food needs to be the mantra.

Got an invitation for a birthday party at a soft play. Turned up… it wasn’t a booked party. Parents pay for birthday child then tells us it’s £6 for kids £2 for adults.

I was half expecting this… they’re clueless on social norms. But the other lady that came with a massive present evidently wasn’t aware!

I thought we all did that!

How many of us have the complaints from people who started WFH during COVID then if asked to come in one day a week they complain about paying for train fare/petrol. Often it was people earning 50k plus where I worked. I once pointed out that some staff were customer facing and in all the time so were spending more getting in. WFH was like a pay rise for some of our staff.

The guy bought one main dish and one rice dish to share between two people. The amount of leftovers would have fitted on the average teaspoon.

My old dad would say, 'he can count his change in his pocket '.

I would have walked out of her house ,that's just revolting.

It's all very well people saying "why didn't you speak up?". But like I said in my post, I wasn't very confident back then when it happened.
Now, I'd be straight in there calling someone out, but back then I wouldn't! Not everyone has the confidence or wants to make a scene in a group. In which case, the CFery would only have only happened the once with me.
And I've heard many accounts of people stealing tips, from people irl, so why are people making out like it doesn't happen? It does!

That’s shameful.

I'd of said you're not having any of mine and asked the waiting staff to get her a glass of water... cheeky stingy cow .

Her entrepreneurial spirit is commendable...her stinginess not so much!

Ooooh please share these other stories! Her behaviour sounds awful!