What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

Reminds me of a relative of mine. Is all for visiting and being put up but will complain about the uncomfortable bed she had to sleep in. Expects to be chauffeured and fed 24/7. My dm feels sorry for her but even she was flabbergasted when we went to visit her (stayed in a b&b) and she didn't even offer for us to come inside her house when we dropped her off.

Exactly. I would have taken said friend out for a nice meal to say thank you as well. Least I could have done 🤦‍♂️

I think the feeling sorry thing is key here. I hope to God cousin doesn’t read Mumsnet but basically she has lived off the hospitality of extended family in 3 continents for decades for her holidays never reciprocating and people do it because she has a mild disability, and also it turns out she has Asperger’s . She has no side to her and is so enthusiastic for family as she lives quite an isolated life so we all try to do our bit.

Yet, you’ve agreed to have them back and for a long time?!

CFs get away with this behaviour because people let them…

Well yes but see above- it means a lot to her and it’s only every couple of years. Unfortunately another cousin was going to host her for a couple of days but his wife’s had a bereavement so she’s staying at mines for longer.

That’s just cracked me up!

A couple known to the people at my church moved here from another area and bought a (huge) house in the country. There was a lot of (pressurised) talk about how desperately sad the lady was to be so isolated etc, not going out at all and I agreed to drive out to the country, pick her up and take her to a nice place for coffee. It was a fair old drive. We went to a country inn, had coffee and chatted. At the end I went to the loo and on my return she said “I’ve paid for my coffee so now you need to pay for yours”. In retrospect I should have said “Oh that’s a shame, I was going to pay for us both”.

Group of friends/acquaintances with young DC agreed to have a get together of parents and children. One friend offered use of her house and we agreed everyone else would bring food/drinks. Before the event we all discussed roughly what we would each bring and Well Off Acquaintance put herself down for crisps. She arrived with 2 bags of aldi own brand crisps from a multipack but said there was already far too much food on the table so she'd put them in a cupboard 'for later'. When she left (before most people, so people were still eating) she collected the unopened crisps and also brought out from under her buggy a couple of large tupperware containers that she filled with food from the table, saying she was taking her husband's share home since he'd not been able to make it. Everyone looked too shocked to say anything but one person who had brought a particularly amazing cake took the whole thing over to where she was sitting until Well Off Acquaintance had left.

I'm sad you even got to the husband stage after he pulled that stunt. That would have been a red flag to me 😕

We were watching the Sally Army playing Christmas Carols. I passed my friend’s husband a £1 to put in their collection as I couldn’t reach . I saw him put my £1 in his pocket and just chuck a few small coins in. I called him out but he insisted he had put a £1 in the collection and he just wanted to get rid of his change !

If it's something I don't drink, I prefer they take it home with them to be honest. Normal wine, of course I'll keep.

You are kidding aren't you. This wasn't a MN takeaway where you're full after a spoonful of rice and sauce??

I didn't get the chance to ask for more.

I was out for a meal with a group of friends plus some people I did not know. We all ordered separately and knew that at the end we all paid for what we had ordered plus a decent tip - at least 10% but usually more if service had been good.

The lady sat opposite me picked at her food saying she was not hungry and would take the left overs back for her dog. She got a Tupperware out of her back and then preceded to put away her left over food and any meat from other plates. In the setting we were in that was a bit odd but no one minded.

When it came to paying, the waiter went round the table with the card machine and we all stated what we were paying for ie what we had ordered for ourselves plus tip. The machine took that amount of the total and so on until the full amount was covered but there was a glitch and once the full amount was paid, it would not accept any money. Me and this lady were the ones whose money was not accepted so I said I’ll pay my share directly at the bar as the tip, knowing that the tipping was why the full amount had been reached.

We fully expected this lady do the same but she just stood up and said, “ Oooh, a free meal for me then” and just left, armed with her full Tupperware box! Apparently she had a reputation for doing paying less than her share and I think she was removed from the WhatsApp. I also understand that she did not really have a dog!

A few years ago an old friend asked me to go out for lunch for my birthday, we were paying separately. She's not short of money anyway, and had also recently received an inheritance. She gave me a present which was a Jelly cat soft toy, but at 48 I really wasn't into soft toys any more, and not only that but it had a bit of food stuck in the fur and stank of perfume, so clearly something she had used and was re-gifting! The bill was £80 altogether and I had birthday money so used cash to pay for mine, she said great I also want to pay cash. Her mum had recently died and she'd been clearing out her house and had found old bank notes which weren't even the notes from before the plastic notes that were bought in, but the ones before. She paid her half with these notes and said that it didn't matter as the bank would still take them. We left the money on the table and the staff weren't around when we left which I was relieved about as I was mortified. I googled it later and read that you can only exchange these old notes in person at the Bank of England in London. We live in Jersey, so no chance of the restaurant owners being able to do that!

Oh no I think we’re actually on the same page here! It’s the bulb on a basic ceiling rose and wire (cheap plastic white round bit in ceiling with white wire descending and bulb connector and bulb) all working, that legally a seller is supposed to leave as minimum for the buyer contractually, and as you say lamp shades and fittings are supposed to be discussed in the sale. Again so as you say so they can walk in and turn on a light at a basic minimum. I read the poster as saying they were laughing that the buyers had taken the shades/fittings too, and I was saying that even if stingy, the shades/fittings they’re entitled to take (but not bulbs). But I might have misunderstood, and they actually took the rose and wire too, which is (like the bulbs) not ok!! Sorry this is written so badly and we’ve got off on a tangent, when the poor old buyers were sat there in the dark 😂 This whole thread is so funny and so sad. Aren’t people weird!!

Yeah you can’t leave a live wire hanging out of the ceiling but after last time we moved and I saw my £500 light fittings in a skip a week later, they obviously weren’t to the new owners taste which is fine but if I’ve known they were gonna do that I would’ve sold them and left them white plastic

Wow hell is not enough!!!

Did you want a harmonica?

One of our friends husbands won’t buy a round, but then we realised , he doesnt buy his own either , he sits there with nothing, and on one memorable occasion, one friend went to the loo and he quickly reached across the table and took his full pint and started drinking it.

we all said hey that’s “bobs” and he just shrugged and stared straight ahead , his wife said nothing. When bob came back he said where’s my drink, looking round confused, and then said to the guy, is that my pint. He just nodded curtly and again stared straight ahead avoiding eye contact. A few of us said hey you can’t do that, give it back, that’s out of line etc, but he just didn’t look at us and didn’t flinch, said not a word. He did it so fast, I think he did it in a moment of impulse and then didn’t back down.

So He literally just sat there drinking it. He’s in his 50s and far from poor. Bob had to get another one. It was so awkward and we were all side eyeing him thr rest of the night.

I host BBQs alot, I also host birthday parties as we have a bit of property and people camp out after a few drinks. I provide all the food, all the drinks and all the snacks. And do any of the decorations for birthdays and so on. I have a friend who will come to all of our gathering and I love her to bits but this year we hosted her 4yr olds sons birthday and I told her il do bbq stuff and some decorations if she brings snacks and drinks, thought we could share the load. Well no sooner did her and her kids get to our place and we are setting up, her kids ate practically eveything without sharing it out, drank all the drinks between themselves and then when it was time to leave, packed any left overs that they didnt share and took them home. So no one else at the party got anything besides the lunch I provided and everyone else drank water lol lesson learnt.

My DM. Shopping trip for a significant/middle age birthday. Queing in a cheap cafe. Said I can either get your lunch ( tea and sandwich) here or give you £ for your birthday. (Usually £20-25) Owns several properties and has lots of £ in savings and investments). My lunch was like £10…..think I ended up paying for both of us as she wandered off to get a table!

Gave my DD £300 towards a holiday spends a week later.

You should have said "give me cash for my birthday, please"
She's very generous with your DD.

So many people have friends who help themselves to the tips in restaurants.
I don't know why people don't call them out.
Same with most of these posts. These cfs have just got away with it because no-one calls them out.

Yes, it's completely baffling to me that anyone would maintain a friendship or a relationship with anyone who behaved the way many of those described on this thread do. I mean, our friends/partners are their behaviour. Why are people OK with this?

I have no idea. I'd say something, and have done in the past! People just seem to suck it up.