What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

I totally agree with you. You can only let him be to wallow in his life as he wants to live it. He must have his own reasons for doing so. Maybe he was brought up in poverty and likes the reassurance of knowing he has a lot of money. Not much good if family could benefit I know but he doesnt see it like that. I was a single mum and didnt have much money but my kids did, and still do, come first in every financial decision I make and I ask do they need it more than me at this moment in time? (Its always yes they do)

That’s abominable- I think I’d have said something. Appalling behaviour!

Not the biggest, but the most "overt" one. I was on a hiking/biking tour (the kind that stays in hotels/lodges, not camping) and, one night, we had dinner on our own at the hotel. A number of us had dinner together and one of the people ordered a small main with no extras. As we were ordering, there was discussion about separate bills and we pointed out that the tour company was paying, so no need to worry about splitting the costs later. The minute she realised that she wasn't paying, she changed her order to one of the most expensive mains with a starter and drinks.

Next door to our work we have a charity shop. My work colleague often goes in there with swaps like a top she no longer wants at home and swaps it for something in the shop or asks for a discount on an already cheap item. It's a charity shop just pay, she has the money.

Keeping the same teabag to use all day.

This was a long time ago but when I was a student I shared a flat with a girl who would help herself to staples I had bought, things like lentils and rice or pasta. Never offered to pay just used my food like it was hers.

It may have been a typo, but 'fiend' was spot on. She didn't even twist reality; she outright lied when saying that it wouldn't be expensive and coercing you to spend that money under false pretences, when she knew full well that it would indeed be as expensive as normal for you and you couldn't afford it.

Utterly self-centred people like her remind me of the old joke about the man who is visited by the devil and is offered immense wealth and global success and renown, but in exchange, the devil demands the souls of his wife and children and the rest of his extended family and all his friends... and the man's instant response is to say "Well, that sounds absolutely perfect and the answer to all of my dreams - but I can't help thinking that there must be some kind of drawback for me that I've missed somewhere".

Did they let her swap garments - or did she just do it when the staff weren't looking and pretended to herself that she wasn't actually stealing?

Not a friend, my own husband. Even though he earned twice what I did, everything had to be split 50:50. Anything the Dc wanted seemed to be paid for by me, including clothes and Christmas presents. I should have seen it coming because when we got engaged we went to Hatton Garden to choose my ring. He told me to put it on my credit card and he'd pay me back. No prizes for guessing that I never got the money back.

No steak?! Your typo /auto correct is apt.

I was asked to mail someone their almost empty shampoo bottle, after they'd stayed with me.

He was tight as a fish's arse

What a miserable way to live. The poor dh.

Because the cuisine /cakes from there aren't the same as here. It was disgusting. We pretended to eat it and spat it in the bin.

I have 2 close friends a bit like this. It’s not so much 1 thing just a general pattern of behaviour. They’re high earners and spend £££ on holidays and luxury items, but seem to want to spend as little as possible on anyone else. If they came to visit for the day I would cook a roast and buy wine, they would buy a basics supermarket pizza and crisps. If they stayed round at mine I would offer them breakfast and coffee the next morning, they would always mumble about ‘not having anything in’ and expect me to go home and make my own there. I would always choose them a nice thoughtful gift for birthdays and special occasions - nothing huge, but £20-30 on things like a nice mug from a small boutique that I knew one of them liked. The same friend turned up to my baby shower with a £3 baby item (I know the price as I regularly walked past it while doing my supermarket shop!).

They’re nice and reliable friends other than this so I’ve simply stopped spending on them in return now, rather than end the friendships. This year was the first year I didn’t buy them birthday gifts as they forgot mine last year. I haven’t offered to host one of them in the summer as I normally do for a few days (I live by the sea). I’ve suggested they get an air BnB or camp close by. They haven’t. It feels odd as I actively enjoy hosting but I can’t be spending a lot money on people who don’t show generosity back.

I'm in a group with three other friends. We've been friends for nearly 30 years. One of the friends close relative died and we were sending her flowers. She didn't chip in because one the other friend who was ordering the flowers owed her a drink!

She is the most well off in the group, she can be very kind in other ways and is extremely funny but is as tight as a badgers arse when it comes to money. This is just one example, there are hundreds.

My grandma. Love her dearly but she was raised during WW2 and will spend hours in Asda looking for rhe cheapest of everything despite having plenty in her bank. She will swap something even if it's 1p cheaper and it's infuriating as she can be in there over 3hrs. She recently needed a new mattress which she begrudgingly paid for. I said how long have you had this one for grandma? She said "your grandad bought it just before the miners strike"..She sits freezing in her house unless it automatically clicks on (set at 14 degrees). Uses the same bar of soap for handwashing & showering in the bathroom. Won't use the shower for more than 6 minutes.
Came on holiday to our caravan and didn't spend a penny. She fetched a box of cheap bran flakes, 2 pints of milk & 4 ready meals for the evening. She loves fish and chips but refused to buy them - but she definitely didn't mind us paying for it on our last day.

Are you saying that it's reasonable to take the actual basic light fitting with you - the plain, standard part that probably costs about £2 to replace but costs a lot more in time and inconvenience to actually fit?

Lampshades and accessories are completely different, of course; but the buyers should clearly be able to move in and have a functional (if bare and ugly) light as soon as they flick the switch.

I think it's telling that the standard fixtures and fittings forms when selling a property now have to cover things like basic light fittings and even bulbs, as so many people will sell a house for hundreds of thousands of pounds, yet they will take a tenners worth of bulbs with them.

It used to be about things like kitchen appliances, carpets and curtains etc. that you may or may not wish to take with you or include in the sale; but bulbs and a short wire hanging from the ceiling is petty beyond belief - not to mention potentially needlessly dangerous.

Following to read later

My aunt told me this. When she was young and dating, she went out with this bloke. He had her buy a cinema ticket, with her money, and then sneak down to the exit door, open it and let in her beau free of charge.

My friend always pays for exactly what she has had. She pays her bill while I am going to the toilet or getting my coat so she doesn’t have to tip because she knows I will. Sometimes she will leave 50p then I feel embarrassed and leave more than normal. She also rushes to the supermarket just before closing to
look for yellow labels . She has thousands in the bank . A few years ago I unexpectedly got some PPI repaid, she was horrified that I shared it with my adult children.

Wow, that's tight!

What’s wrong with keeping leftover Chinese for the next day? That’s not stingy it’s nicer the next day.

This brings back many memories of my lovely dad, born 1931, grow up in poverty, served his national service and mended absolutely everything, nothing was thrown away. He also did the wrapping paper, and tied gifts with string so the wrapping paper wasn’t damaged and the string could also be reused. He darned his socks many years after I’d left home. He could iron and sew as well as make anything.

At 88, with advanced Alzheimer’s, we found him trying to glue together a snapped rubber band 😭

Off topic, as not really tight, but waste not want not. I miss him.

Anyway, enjoying these tight people stories.

I have a colleague who always does the same restaurant manoeuvres as your ex friend, OP. It’s tedious. This is also timely because my cousin is coming over from abroad to stay with us for about 8 days. Last time she stayed 11 days, never once did a shop and when she left she gifted us a pot of yoghurt. I’m bracing myself.

Isn't it rough as a badger's and tight as a fish's?

These posts are rather sad. Thankfully I don't have anyone around me this tight. I couldn't stand it.