What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

My late great aunt had a saying she would trot out whenever she detected a cheapskate: "Ee's that tight ee'd cut ape'ny in arf" (translation provided on request) 🤣🤣🤣

A friend once invited people to her baby shower and demanded cash only and bring your own drink. Her husband had expected her best mate (who was organising the baby shower for my mate) to fund the food and when she refused he made my mate text everyone to say they needed to bring their own food also. Suffice to say I didn’t go.

These people live in a four bed house in an affluent area, drive a range, he earns 6 figures and they’re a member of one of those champagne clubs. They are just tight. They once invited us to a bbq and took the good quality butcher sausages we brought in, didn’t cook them and served Iceland frozen produce all afternoon. Rotten!

I used to go out with a group of mums from my children’s pre school. There was one mum who lived in a massive new build, fancy car, designer clothes etc so wasn’t short of money.
She always had to leave earlier than everyone else for whatever reason so would say a quick bye and say “I've left cash for mine” . But it was no where near what she should have left. So everyone else ended up paying more. After the third time people started saying that’s not enough when she tried to sneak off. She stopped coming out.

That's how they get rich. Not that they would save all that much money by charging friends for a steak dinner, but the emotional ease with using other people, including friends. I think that emotional makeup makes it easy for that sort of person to do things that will net them more money, without having the pangs of conscience that most of us might have.

I used to go out with a big group of friends and we would often have a curry or go for a meal at the end of the night. We used to split the bill at the end. One bloke used to order extra drinks for himself during the meal without asking if anyone else wanted one and would practically whisper to the waiter so no one else would order. On more than one occasion I heard him order a quadruple Bacardi!

My parents took us all out for a meal for my mum's 80th birthday. After the meal we all went back to my parents for a cup of tea and a piece of the cake that my brothers wife had made for my mum. When my brother and his family left, my s-i-l took the cake home with her!! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤔

Giving a cake is giving a gift surely?! It then belongs to the person you gave it to, so they choose how to share out the leftovers, or at least thats how we do it in our family.

Stingy cow!

Thats not stingy, thats financial abuse of a vulnerable elder! Was anything done about it?

Taking the bulbs is bad! But the light fittings is normal/legal procedure in house sale (plain ceiling rose, as in white round plastic thing with white chord with bulb hanging off it) unless agreed separately in the sale. Same for things like curtains. But the bulbs is bad!

She obviously doesn't understand what 'creative accounting' means!

Clue: it's fraud.

My mate had a habit of getting a taxi home with us after a night out and then when i was her turn to be dropped saying she hadn’t any money and ran off home so whoever was left- usually me- had to pay a full taxi fare. She used to duck out of rounds in the pub and even once pocketed our dinner tip.

She was part of a group of girlfriends I knew from school. Years later, she had booked her hen do with a package company in a city in the UK. We had all paid our share.
Unfortunately, at the 11th hour, the company contacted us saying they’d dropped a clanger and double booked the hotel. After much backing and forth they rebooked a different hen do package in a different city.
This was cheaper. So we were all owed some money back.
My friend, despite being asked several times by other friends on the hen do, never gave the money back to us. She ignored questions in person, text messages. She kept the money and spent it on her wedding. I’m quite a forgiving person normally, but that was 20 years of friendship gone, times 3 people. Absolute cheek.

That’s disgusting!

One friend doesn’t meet for coffee near mine as I don’t have off street parking and she won’t pay for the hour or so to park. I just end up having to drive to hers.

Another friend is very controlling of the finances. Has never spent a penny on child care (family members always chipped in). Herself and husband don’t drink, very rarely go out for meals and the one or two times we ever went on holidays with them to campsite, they refused to pay that bit extra for a nicer accommodation nearer to us and instead went with cheapest possible on the other side of the campsite. In fairness, neither have amazing jobs but they both work full time, have been living in same house for 20 plus years and I would imagine not much left of mortgage. The husband also asked me not to mention to her that he had booked a private consultation with a healthcare professional as she would ‘go mad’ if she knew how much it cost!

Not picking on you particularly but just curious about the mindset of people who allow themselves to be used like this.

Why on earth do you entertain this madness? I mean the camping thing.....well you paid more, they didnt so they suffer...ok. But the friend who wont pay for parking, why do you go? Why dont you say "You know what? I am sick of the fact that I have paid in fuel more than you would have paid in fuel AND parking over the years so if you want to meet for coffee, you have to come to me from now on, maybe in five years we will be even!"?

What on earth does she bring to your life that makes it worth it?

My mum held on to a few Hong Kong coins from when she visited as a teenager in 1965. She then used them in tip jars when we visited in 2008. Excruciatingly embarrassing.

Another time I was buying a house which settled 3 days before the sale of my existing house. My parents very generously acted as bridging financiers, which saved me about $1000 in bank bridging fees. When the sale settled, I drove over to my parents with their bank cheque, all including their compound interest for the 3 days. As it was a Friday, my mum insisted on working out further compound interest for over the weekend as she wouldn’t be able to bank it till Monday. Fair enough maybe? But the bit that gets me is that it was $27.12. She gave me the option of transferring $27.12 online or if I was paying cash, I had to pay $27.15. Australia’s lowest denomination coin is 5 cents and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing 2 cents if it was rounded down, as was usual practice.

I also have vivid memories of her kneeling in full business attire trying to flick a coin out of a grate with a stick.

An old colleague who was beyond tight - we used to get team coffees every Friday, 9 times out of 10 he would never pay me, on the rare occasion I couldn’t get the round in, he would go instead but would insist on bank transfers before he went and would sit there refreshing his app until he could see everyone’s payment.

My manager gave this same colleague a lift home one time, (45 minutes out of his way) and when they arrived my manager asked if he could quickly use the loo, colleague said no.

Same colleague again..getting married and asked guests to bring a packed lunch.. the rest of the wedding was absolutely no expense spared, so long as it was only beneficial to the bride and groom.

And to me, what was the weirdest one of all, we won a team breakfast, he ordered an omelette but because he wasn’t paying, he wanted every possible add on to go inside it. This man ordered an omelette with chorizo, bacon, ham, chicken AND salmon in. All because he wanted the highest monetary value over something he’d enjoy. Absolutely unhinged.

Two Russians and NI as in Northern Ireland? How random!

Worked with a Polish lady. On birthdays we would all chip in and enjoy a delicious fresh cream birthday cake for birthday person from the local bakery. Our mouths were watering and couldn't wait to have some when it was her turn. However this lady took the cake before anyone got near it and put it beside her things to take home. Took it home and next day brought in a disgusting homemade cake which we all had to pretend we enjoyed. She didnt get one the following year.

Thats why he is a millionnaire then. Awful, sad way to live though isnt it

What is the relevance of where she is from?

Absolutely. That goes way beyond trying to be careful to save a few quid.

Even cutting out coupons from magazines that she isn't going to buy: it's basically theft, as what's the difference to the shop in real terms between taking something without paying for it yourself and deliberately damaging it so that nobody else will buy it (or will demand a refund if they unwittingly do so)?

I know it's very far from the worst thing in life, but a lot of people will look forward to their little treat of a weekly/monthly magazine - and then opening what is supposed to be a brand new item and finding that it's been deliberately used and spoiled by a selfish freeloader is a really unpleasant micro-aggression.

I wonder if a lot of these people whose regular go-to behaviour is actually pure theft and/or fraud acknowledge and recognise themselves as criminals, or whether they just see themselves as being 'a bit cheeky'?

Think it might be the 13p extra she needed? Petty, coming from only 5 people besides herself?

This is what I really don't get: even if these people couldn't care less about other people - even family members and those who are supposedly friends - what kind of a life is it for them to live themselves with a constant 'every penny spent is lava' attitude?

I know very well what it's like to have to count every penny and be constantly worried about bills that I just can't afford to pay; why ever would you acrively choose to exchange the enviable freedom of knowing that you have plenty of money for what you need (and nobody is saying that you have to live extravagantly) for that same terror that is the reality for many desperately poor people who have no choice in the matter?

I know it's a cliche, the old 'there are no pockets in a shroud' saying... but what do these people genuinely think they are going to achieve by living a life of misery and alienating everybody close to them, just to eventually die leaving a fortune in a now-useless bank account?

A fiend at uni once begged me to go for dinner, which I said no to as I couldn’t afford it. She wouldn’t drop it, and eventually said it’d be okay as she had a 2 for 1 voucher so it wouldn’t be too expensive. Against my better judgement I went, when the bill came she used the voucher to make her meal ‘free’ and I paid the rest. I can still remember the moment I realised that’s what she was doing and had planned all along and I thought it was so mean I just wanted to pay and never do anything like it with her again.

I should’ve known as she was the person that would insist on taxis on uni nights out as she couldn’t walk in her heels and then she’d hop out before the cash got handed over and never offer anything. She’d literally sit at breakfast the next morning saying ‘I only spent £15 last night!’ like it was a miracle when she was sitting with all the people that had subsidised her.

she was mean in lots of ways so the friendship died but I’ll always remember how tight she was, she had so much more money than I ever did in the first place and it was such an unlikeable trait.

Not on the scale of the others, but my friend always used to give me overdate chocolates as a gift each birthday. They went straight in the bin.

Same friend also gave me baby items (baby album/ photo frame) as a gift - I didn't have a baby, wasn't pregnant and wasn't even in a relationship.