What’s the stingiest thing you’ve ever seen a friend do?

[zappp]

I have an (ex-)friend who is very stingy. She earns plenty and is happy to splurge on herself and show off, but when it comes to others, she is mean with money to the point where I’ve felt really taken advantage of on multiple occasions. It’s almost like it’s a game for her; seeing how little she can pay and how much she can extract from others.

The friendship fizzled out when I started calling her out on it and stopped covering her costs (I previously didn’t want to make things awkward, especially in a group setting, but it got to a point where I was too pissed off to keep being polite).

Against my better judgment, I recently attended a group dinner that she was also part of - a mutual friend was in town and this was the only time we could see her. In the WhatsApp planning group, she’d enthusiastically agreed to the restaurant choice - it was definitely a nicer place, but not extravagant.

When she got there, she claimed she wasn’t hungry and didn’t order any food, only to ask the waiter for an empty plate and help herself - rather generously - from everyone else’s food!!! She also asked for a glass for the wine we’d already ordered, which would’ve been fine, except guess how much she chipped in to the bill…? Exactly, zero.

It was also a bit embarrassing towards the restaurant; it’s hard to get a reservation and the group was small enough that it was strange for one person not to be eating at peak dinner time, especially as we were seated at a big table.

This time I didn’t even bother calling her out - it was so brazen that she basically called herself out.

I know you never truly know someone else’s financial situation, but she’s certainly spending enough on clothes, holidays, and skincare to make me think she could afford a plate of pasta and glass of wine…

Anyway, rant over, I want to hear other stingy stories!

I've posted this on here before - a friend invited a few of us to her new and beautiful holiday home for 2 nights. Before we arrived she sent us details of her online shop for the weekend with a request we all send her our share of the cost. Her shop for 6 women for two nights (and we were eating out both nights) included a pack of 24 loo rolls, a giant box of washing powder, fabric conditioner, a bag of dishwasher tablets and big bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Basically we were buying her groceries for the next couple of months.

The same friend once invited a group of us for dinner at hers while her DH was away with our DHs. It was definitely I'll host a dinner party not come round for a girls night. We were surprised as she is known for not cooking, preferring to leave it to her husband who is very good at it. When we arrived (all carrying the usual hostess gifts of wine, flowers, chocolates etc), there was no sign of any food prep. After an hours chat she suggested ordering a takeaway and gave us the local Chinese menu. We were a little taken aback but dishes were chosen, the food was delivered, the drinks we had brought were drunk and a good time was had by all. Towards the end of the night she announced we'd drunk all the wine we had contributed and nothing else was offered. Quite reasonably she boxed up the leftovers and put them in the fridge.
On the way home we all got an email asking us for our share of the Chinese bill divided down to the nearest penny. I was furious - the last time her and her DH eaten at mine I had served champagne and cocktails and cooked a three course meal that included fillet steak. At that point enough was enough. I don't think any of us sent the money.

Jesus, some of these posts are mind blowing!

My stingy experience is with my boss at work. He earns a six figure salary but once put in an expense claim for a work trip that included 20p he had paid to use the toilet in a train statin.

My FIL is a nightmare.

MIL likes to spoil her family - will plan meals and pick up the whole tab without fuss. She did so for FIL's birthday. A month later, it was her birthday. He paid for the whole meal in public - then privately messaged DH asking for his share later.

Another time I organised a party for my husband's birthday, so no meal from ILs that year. At BIL's birthday soon after, MIL says she'll pay for dinner for everyone. My husband says don't be silly, we'll cover ourselves, and MIL says to BIL that she absolutely insists on paying for him and his girlfriend. Bill arrives, and FIL tries to split the bill for 6 two ways so we cover half of BIL's dinner. We'd actually just told them I was pregnant, and they knew I was actually unemployed too!

Another meal, we were all splitting the bill and we have our share (rounded up) plus an extra tenner towards the tip. FIL gives the man a fiver saying "that's for you" and pays the balance.

DH and I have similar family set ups in that we both have half-siblings - my dad is with my mum, FIL is with MIL. In both cases there's no involvement from the other parent, and the half siblings have been raised from a young age by their step parents. My dad splits everything 100% equal between his children, regardless of how he came by them. FIL just helped BIL buy a house at 25 with significant savings, whereas DH was gifted... a tumble dryer.

Once we were talking about Set for Life, and MIL said she'd give 2.5k a month to BIL and DH. FIL blanched at the prospect - he couldn't even give away imaginary money!

My story is similar to yours OP apart from our ‘friends’ did order food. There was a big group of us; my husbands friends and their partners. It was a lovely restaurant, amazing service so we all tipped well. It was their turn to pay last but they decided not to pay anything as our ‘tips’ had already covered the cost of their food. They couldn’t see the problem. They are no longer our friends safe to say!

A colleague of DH. They were travelling together to a work conference and knew they would arrive shortly after lunch time. Check in for their rooms was at 4.00p.m. DH wasn't bothered, he would either hang out in the bar with the others or do some work but colleague paid extra on booking so that he could check in early. When they arrived colleague's room was ready and so was DH's. Colleague demanded half the the cost he had paid for early check in because DH had benefited as well!

My wealthy sister wanted to see ddad's will the day after he died. Then proceeded to act like she'd won the lottery.

Yes, I stopped buying her coffee and she actually had the audacity to look a bit upset the first time but didn't actually say anything and now just either brings her own or stares at mine and says something like "I wish I had a coffee", which I always ignore.

I'm not sure it computed in her brain that she did anything wrong. She is mostly lovely but very princessy and spoilt - she's in her 50s but her elderly mum still does all her laundry and ironing, for example, and always has done. I don't think she even knows how to do laundry or iron. If her car needs petrol, she will drive it home and send her husband to go out and fill it up rather than her do it.

There are many other examples I could give that I sort of thought were endearing quirks before the coffee thing that now I see are actually signs of her being selfish and entitled. She's definitely been raised expecting everyone to do everything for her and is quite entitled.

I was buying her coffee as I would for any friend, whereas she was probably thinking "well of course other people buy me coffee because I'm the special one" rather than understanding it's a nice thing you reciprocate.

We know a very wealthy member of the aristocracy. He is incredibly grabby.

We went to a business function together, a very classy dinner to celebrate 25 years of a company we worked with. The company not only hosted the dinner but also paid for us and our spouses to stay in the very nice hotel it was being held in. My aristocratic colleague decided the wine served with the meals wasn't good enough so ordered additional very expensive bottles which he kept (literally) under the table for himself and his wife - he didn't pay for them though, they were added to the hosts bill. On the same trip, he bought a lot of dirty washing with him and had all his laundry done at the hotel and him and his wife had massages and beauty treatments all added to the hosts bill. He was quite open about this and thought we were silly not to do the same.

When the client discovered this he was furious. He raised it with the CEO of our company and said he would stop dealing with us unless this man was taken off his account. Posh colleague dismissed it as stingy client making a storm in a teacup.

What does MiL say when her husband repeatedly does these things?

Hmm, yes - that would be the logical conclusion, I guess. More of a hassle for them, though, as purses and wallets only really have one function; but to not have their phone (or at least to have to pretend that they don't have it) for the whole duration is a lot more inconvenient!

An ex friend used to come out to dinner with friends and she’d take everyone’s cash and put the bill on her credit card … we’d all chip in a pound or two for the tip, except she’d just pay the bill, no tip, and literally pay only a few pounds as she’d use those tips to pay most of her meal / drinks … she was also brazen about it

I can't believe how many people have friends who steal tips. That isn't someone being stingy; it is theft. If you know someone is like that and still want to have dinner with them I think the solution is to bring cash for tips and hand it directly to the waiting staff after the bill has been paid in full.

What happened though-did the client see that threat through or is wealthy man still there?

there's a difference between frugal, stingy and just a plain old CF taking advantage of other people.

My stbexp spent months eating at my place from the fridge , cupboards and freezer while not asking if anything was needed would use the last of something and instead of replacing it tell me it was used up , if we were going anywhere would expect fuel money plus food and drinks bought for him . He has twice nipped to a shop for me to get bits for dinner and both times reminded me he wants the money back for it while eating said items , he thinks he has given me the world if he buys me a 79p drink .
Last straw was buying himself a big bag of sweets and sat eating them in front of a 5 and a 2 year old they both asked saying please and he let them choose A sweet each , nothing more just 1 sweet at which point my head said NO MORE . I am back home next week at which point my key is mine again and he is out the door to be as stingy as he wants somewhere else .

A school mum friend set me up with her boyfriends nephew (it didnt work out but we stayed friends which is how I found out about this story)

Her boyfriends father (my exs grandfather) was on his deathbed-the family where waiting for him to die (not in a nasty way but he wasn't going to last much longer)

They where all summoned to the side of his bed to say goodbye,they where all standing there,saying goodbye and holding his hands,when the school mum friend suddenly pipes up with 'when he dies,can I have his car?its newer than mine and will save me a few quid'

The gent died and the family sold the car much to her disgust

They would have sold it to her for pennies if she'd waited until he had actually gone (which disgusted her-she wanted her freebie and was very vocal about how tight the family where by not giving her the car 'for my kids')

I mean,at least wait until the gent had died,dont do it at the side of his bed!

She wasnt short of cash-not rolling about in her millions but she could afford a new car without too much trouble

My jaw dropped when I heard the story

My sibling is shocking, but will always pay for her own nails, lashes, hair, spray tan. She moved away years ago and I still live locally to our parents. Every birthday, mothers day, fathers day, xmas I would arrange gifts and a card for our parents. She would always call them and say it was from both of us and tell me she would transfer me half. This transfer NEVER came.

When our dear old nana turned 100 I went to visit and bought her a huge bouquet of flowers that I spent a lot of time choosing with the florist. My nana loved flowers as she was a keen gardener and she was delighted with the selection. True to form Dsis claimed it was a joint gift so I (pretty pissed off at this point) called her and asked her for half of the money. I got every excuse under the sun, she didn't have my bank details, she was in the middle of something, she was driving, she was busy. I called and texted every hour until she gave in and sent it to me.

Since then, I have made sure my name only goes on the cards and ive told the recipient this is just from me, DH & DD. Did Dsis call you for your birthday?

My parents moved house and the previous took ages to move out. We got in about 5:30pm. It was summer so didn’t notice until about 9:00pm that they’d nit only taken all the lightbulbs but all the light fittings. Just bare wires sticking out of the ceiling.

Going away on a group holiday and we all agreed to pay into a kitty for one of our party to order in some drinks for the first night (self catering). It was about £10 each so not much. Out of everyone in the whole party one person insisted on not paying and said they’d bring their own bottle….saving them a total of about £2 !!

Friend who has been "hosting" a picnic for his birthday every year for a few years. Asks everyone to bring their own food plus food and drink to share, and their own crockery. Often results in a large spread... He contributes a few sausage rolls from Lidl. Fair enough if it was a friends meet up, but to me it feels like he's asking everyone to good the effort and expense of his party!

My ex friend volunteers for more than one charity to distribute the leftover food from the supermarkets - to avoid food waste. She keeps most of what she volunteers to distribute. She and her family eat odd stuff (lots of bread etc) but she spends almost nothing on food. They live in a 5 bedroom house and have household income of over 100K. I've considered reporting her. People need to set up these charities better to protect themselves from people like her.

This story... haunting!
I'd be tempted to buy two coffees again and when she asks if one is for her say no, I'm just having two this morning. And a couple of pains au chocolat as well.

Some time ago, I wouldn't call her a friend; she's pesty and thankfully moved 66 miles away, but she knew I love shampoo, conditioner and shower gel and have quite a collection.

She said she'll go and ''buy'' me some bottles, which I was happy about.

A week later, she came back saying she'd stayed in a top-class hotel. She presented me with a bundle, with a ribbon around, of 3 little dainty plastic bottles. one with shampoo, another with conditioner and the 3rd with shower gel. Then she admitted she nicked them from the shower room in her hotel room!

Admittedly, they are a gorgeous little bundle, and I happily and gratefully accepted, even though I'm in possession of stolen goods!

That was a couple of years ago, and they're still unused, but in my shower room, as an emergency if I ever run out of normal-sized bottles!

I once went to spend a weekend with a bloke I’d had a holiday romance with. I drove from the south coast all the way up to the Lake District where he lived, and paid for us to have a nice lunch when I arrived.

As we came out of the restaurant, we saw an ice cream van and said “Ooh let’s have an ice cream,” He bought himself a 99 and paid for it. I was left standing there. Even the surprised ice cream man raised an eyebrow and said “Looks like you’re buying your own then, love!”

I didn’t visit him again.

Now, an odd gift perhaps, but I don't see that as stealing. They're there to be used and you've (the guest) paid for them.