Why are some women so bitchy?

[whatisforteamum]

I can't reveal some comments I've heard regarding a much loved colleague.
But what makes someone comment on aging skin,hair, hair colors clothes.So long as the person is clean and smells fresh when they come to work.
Last time I checked I'm employed for my skills not appearance.I always wear clean clothes.
We are of an age that we have a lot of things to worry about.Why are some people obsessed with appearance wasting precious time commenting on others.(Unless it's to compliment them).

It makes them feel powerful

Because they are unhappy with their own lives and it makes them feel better to bring someone else down.

I think it’s because that’s the communication style and way of thinking that they’ve been taught when younger. I feel sorry for people like that.

Some people are just cunts.

Some women never grow up emotionally and still carry on like they are in the school playground. They are usually the type that are unhappy or insecure in themselves so they enjoy trying to put down other women to feel better.

If you push someone down, it makes you feel higher than them..

MAFS Aus this year was a study of how some women thrive on doing this, and either double down or bring out the tears when their behaviour is spotlighted to them.

It's such a draining attitude.Too many of my friends and family are battling cancer far too young.
Most would give anything to have healthy skin or hair .
I have worked with men for ages and they rarely say such nasty stuff.

Yoheresthestory that rings true.

This.
Because some people are so unhappy with themselves it makes them feel better by doing it to other people. Half the time it’s jealousy. When I was at school I couldn’t wait to get older and not have to deal with people like that but in actual fact I think it’s worse.

The dreaded school run with the clicky mums 🤦🏻‍♀️

This!
I have known a few of these and they are all insecure and unhappy people -never known a bitchy woman who was happy or loved.

Some people, not just women. I work mostly with men and they easily bitch and moan just as much as any women I’ve worked with.

Whereas the men I’ve worked with have been, on average, far bitchier than the women.

Hmm. I think men say awful things between themselves. I've heard men say shocking things about women's appearance when they think women are not in ear shot. I've also been in offices where men bitch about and bully and ice out other men. It is not a gendered trait to be bitchy.

I used to work with one woman who was about 10yrs older than me, we were good friends, chatted all the time, had evenings out together, she was lovely. She then took against one woman in the office, who was the same age as her but was much younger looking and slimmer than her, boy did I see a different side of her. What a total bitch. I couldn’t believe the things she used to say. I tried to reason with her but she just continued and we fell out. She then turned on me but I told her to shut up, I knew too much about her from our friendship, so I told her I’d keep her secrets so long as she backed off. We no longer work together, thank god. I passed her in the supermarket a few months ago when I was with my daughter, we just ignored each other. I hate to jump on the “she must be jealous” bandwagon as I see thst so often and mostly disagree, but in this instance it was so glaringly obvious. I actually feel sorry for her as none of the friends she had back then speak to her anymore.

I agree about women. I work with men and women. All of the men are okay to me and the men seem to be nice to each other

The women in my workplace are constantly bullying each other and being nasty to each other.

What is that about women? Are women just nastier than men?

A woman i know actually killed herself because she was bullied so badly at work by women

I met up with some school friends a while ago, we get together every couple of years. I was shocked to be met with a run down of my appearance at the moment I was greeted by them. It dawned on me later that, that behaviour only ever occurs with them. I don’t know if it’s distance or age but I found it rude and invasive.

Men can be just as bad and often with a creepy sexual flourish.

Can't say I've noticed this tbh.

I work with all women, and we aren't like this at all.

I agree. The nastiest person I ever knew who was nasty in this way was actually a woman I worked with, her husband was very abusive and she was nasty to people to make herself feel better. He killed himself in a drink driving incident and when she returned to work she was the kindest, sweetest, most helpful and thoughtful colleague I have ever had and we have stayed in touch to this day which I would've never thought I would want to do when I first knew her.

I agree with this also, the things I've heard/seen men say when they think women can't hear/see is on another level. I absolutely wouldn't call it 'bitchy' because it's way beyond.

Theyre usually radically insecure, unhappy, or both.

Content people don't need to bring the world down around them.

Men are usually reserving their critical and misogynistic comments for their other male friends, I really don't think there's much difference.

Some people are just unpleasant, lots of people are deeply insecure and cope with that by putting others down. I doubt anyone who behaves in this way consistently could possibly be happy. Unfortunately many people grew up with poor modelling within families and never learnt ways to cope with their own feelings, so project them outward.

In my experience, not at work. Women have always been worse to me in the workplace.

In my last job i had a male manager. He used to constantly build us up, be positive and thank us for our hard work.

Im now in a job where i have a female manager. She is constantly nasty, negative, and cruel to me and other young female staff. She seems to be jealous of younger women.

She is so cruel i have actually felt suicidal in this job. She turns her friends in the workplace against me too.

Any time that i have had a female manager in the past, they have been cruel to me too.

Workplace bullying is awful because we are stuck there and we cant really fight back, for fear of not getting a good reference. My place doesnt have a HR department. Im applying for other jobs but havent got one yet

All my female bosses have been amazing and all of my male bosses have been indifferent to female staff while being a great boss to the male staff at best and being arrested for multiple rapes at worst. I think people in general are awful in different ways and generalising one group just makes people feel unheard.

Have you spoken to any charities that help with workplace issues, can they help? Are you in a union? No HR, but is there anyone higher up you can speak to? Maybe a group of you complain together?

I won't say I hope it gets better because beyond the boss leaving, it never does so I'll just say I really hope you find a new job really soon. The quickest way I've ever found a new job was on linkedin, are you on it? If it's any use for your industry of course!

Such a horrible word, almost always towards women. Some people are just horrible. Men are usually more horrible than women. It's internalised misogyny to describe women this way.